....If I don't want them there in the first place?
There seems to be some unsaid rule that if you're getting married, you must pay for various people to have a jolly. I see my family maybe twice a year, and have a pretty bad relationship with them in general after how I was treated growing up. I wanted to elope but we felt it would have been unfair on my partner's family who have always helped and supported us. Money is tight so we decided on a registry office wedding with no reception - we will do something with just us two.
However, my family seem to think they are entitled to a knees up at our expense, and keep messaging me ask what I'm doing. They ask if I am asking blah blah and so and so (when I haven't even sent them an invite), as really, all they want is to go to a party and see other family members who I have no relationship whatsoever. I want to tell them to have their own party and pay for it themselves
I don't want to invite them at all, and I certainly don't want to pay for them. When I ask people for advice, they say it's something you just have to do when you get married. Why should I?