Why do childless people join Mumsnet?

[Sammysees]

Each to their own and I’m not saying they shouldn’t join. There are a plethora of boards that help people with or without kids. The site is called “Mums”net though. I’m curious as to why someone without kids would even think to join the site in the first place. If you are childless and reading this ... Can I ask what made you join Mumsnet?

OP - wouldn't you think it strange if, in real life, no childfree people were interested in talking to you because you were a mum?

Wouldn't you think it strange if the mums of your acquaintance only ever talked about pregnancy, children and parenting?

Why does this question get continuouslt asked.

Are people daft and can't see there's clearly other forums that's not got anything to do with parenting?

Style, Aibu, chat, Alcohol and Drug abuse, feminism. Just to name a few!

I don't have children and read virtually no threads with parenting advice and still manage to waste hours a week here. There are loads of topics and if you aren't interested in parenting stuff, it's quite easy to avoid.

Although I can't prove it, I hear that people who are parents don't always want to talk about their kids 24/7 too.

I joined because I googled about how to find a bra that didn't dig in and there were lots of links to bra intervention threads on style and beauty. I read them all, I measured properly and I got some better fitting bras! Then I started reading style and beauty and moved on to other topics as well. I like the fact that it's mostly women here. I didn't wake up one morning and think oh, I'll join a parenting site. In fact I'd heard of mumsnet previously but thought it wouldn't be for me.

I agree this has been done to death though it is interesting to see why different people come here.

This seems a bit like someone asking why people who aren’t university students are on Facebook.

Just because something starts out for a particular audience doesn’t mean that those are the only people who can ever use that platform.

In real life, I've made it a point to never comment on how someone raises their kids and I wouldn't comment here either. However, it has been very useful to read up on people's struggles and successes.

I now find the board invaluable in giving me insight into how the same issue can be interpreted so differently by the posters..

Sammysees why did you ask this question? What difference would the answers make to your usage of this forum? Do you think that only mothers can answer or have an opinion on the many and varied threads that are currently in Active? Is motherhood a prerequisite for every single topic on here and if so, why?

Because you won't get a more well rounded individual than someone that has been a mother and/or a wife for a prolonged period. That comment from a pp wins the award for the most ludicrous comment I've read on here in a long time - well done ReetDortyLass

The question means you think childless people shouldn’t be int he club.

Here are forums for pets and gardening and travel etc etc.

It has expanded beyond its original target market.

It’s not a prerequisite for memberships as far as I am aware.

I wish just once on the many many threads posted asking this, the OP would consider how hurtful and blinkered it is to ask when there are so many women on here experiencing infertility. Yes there are lots of women who are childfree by choice too (and it’s not hard to figure out why they might be here...)

Sammysees Each to their own and I’m not saying they shouldn’t join. How very gracious of you.

where to start? Feminism, books, general interesting chat, elderly parent board.

also I was on a chat board before - I'm introverted and love chatting online but not a fan of going out - but that was really male dominated and frankly, had an odd tone. it really showed up once the Metoo stuff emerged and I was so relieved to find MN - a mum friend told me about it.

Because the forum is full of women who reply quickly when you need advice about anything, not just parenting. I haven't found another forum like it

People who say “each to their own” always tend to be the most judgemental IME! they still voiced the question despite realising it was judgemental and feel they need to counteract that

Also, as this is an anonymous forum how do you know with 100% certainty that posters are being truthful as to whether or not they have children, how many and their ages? Some posters don't post anything about whether or not they have children, or any other personal details about their lives they just offer an opinion or advice on a topic that interests them.

The sort of people who even need to ask this question and can't work it out through their own intelligence are the sort of people who:

On becoming pregnant become

The First Person To Have Ever Been Pregnant

and post birth

The First Person To Ever Be A Mother

On giving birth they ditch any friends who are unmarried or childless because :

My Life Has Changed And They Wouldn't Understand

And see motherhood as an exclusive club for the worthy without realising that this site due to its growth provides valuable advice on allsorts of things to allsorts of women.

They are also people who would use "childless" in a pitying or derogatory way. HTH.

Because it's not just a forum about children, despite the name it's a general forum where you can ask advice on anything.

But judging by a previous post on here, i as a childless woman am not well rounded and shouldn't be on here.

Lovely.

I started lurking because of one of the "funny shit kids say" thread. I can't remember why I actually joined, it must have been to give advice or make a comment I thought was hilarious and probably wasn't
But it became invaluable when we did start ttc and struggled with fertility issues.

I love baby names so that's one plus I love the AIBU- I joined when I thought I was pregnant as it gave a lot of great advice. I just like it!

Before joining I often found that Mumsnet came up in Google searches so maybe it's because of that

I think the women who ask this question are solely defined by their role as mummy and are in some strange way threatened by those that are not like them.

I don’t have kids and I’m hurtling towards 40. I’d probably have liked some but various things happened and I’m now at the stage where I’m happily childfree but have a very occasional wobble where I wonder if I’ll regret not having them.

I have two best friends. The three of us grew up together and hit every milestone together. This month, one will have her first baby, and the other has just announced she’s expecting her first. I’m happy for them, but already the dynamic has changed. Saw on Facebook this morning that they’re out together doing baby-related stuff, and having brunch. I can shop and eat, but it seems this particular excursion is for pregnant women from our group only, so I wasn’t invited.

Sometimes I really like MN because it’s not the kittens and roses version of motherhood that Facebook or Instagram can portray. It’s more honest. I especially like hearing from women with older/grown children as you can get a more rounded view of what having kids is liked, compared to someone with a one year old telling you that motherhood is the best thing in the world. Yeah, having a cute baby is great, but come back to me when you have a lazy 20 year old who won’t move out or get a job and then tell me you wouldn’t change a thing.

So, to answer your question, sometimes I read MN because the honest account from others of the dark side of parenthood helps me reaffirm my decision not to go there, despite the pressures I put on myself.

What a horrid question to ask. Why should any forum be selective in who joins, which in my opinion is what you are saying. People join forums for any number of reasons, are you actually saying that no one can join until they are a mum? So tough to all trying to get pregnant and having difficulty. They already feel bad and you throw this in the mix? Where is your compassion? Single, gay, male, female who cares, you may be able to support someone with your life experiences, so does it matter if you are not a mum NO

Consolidatedyourloins

I think the women who ask this question are solely defined by their role as mummy and are in some strange way threatened by those that are not like them.

And the question is often an attempt to have a swipe due to envy of women whose lives are inherently different - and perhaps more enjoyable.

I joined maaany years ago, when we were TTC and I still had a naive idea that it might happen quite easily. Later on, when having fertility treatments, I used the Infertility section.

I'm not TTC or having treatments these days, nor looking into adoption. But I like the Chat and AIBU and other sections not directly related to being a parent. It's a different kind of site than others I use. More direct and more diverse. I find a lot of entertaining and interesting stuff here. I also occasionally like reading stuff about family life - out of curiosity I guess, and also because I do have family (nieces and nephews, siblings, parents, ILs etc).

I enjoy the chatter - I joined to get advice about a carpet stain and got caught up in AIBU. Now I just enjoy the chat