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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want parents to give away half of my business?

430 replies

Bubs101 · 11/01/2019 23:18

First-time poster here! So go easy on me.

I set up a small consultancy business about 10 years ago and am doing quite well for myself now, however it hasn't been easy. My parents gave me an initial sum of £10,000 to help set things up, however, this was on the condition that they own 50%, which at the time I agreed to, as they were my parents and kindly invested in the business and me. 10 years later their initial investment has been paid off and they have been regularly receiving dividends, so have done quite well of the initial £10,000.

However, as I'm in a good place financially I asked them about buying back the shares they have, gradually, so I can have full ownership of the business, this was initially agreed that I would be able to do this when they first invested as my parents "don't want anything from me". But now this is where it gets tricky as they have now refused saying they are going to gift my brother the shares instead! As he is expecting his first DC (I have none) I'm shell-shocked and livid. My brother and I have a very complex relationship and he was physically and verbally abusive to me before I moved out, though he faced no consequences as he was the golden child who could do no wrong! My parents are aware of how I feel about my brother and we are virtually NC, except Christmas where we are civil for the sake of the family.

I'm just really upset by this and was wondering if there was a way I could stop this from happening. I've worked so hard to get my business to where it is, my brother is working but has always expected handouts and is naturally smarter than me but very very lazy so he earns about a third of what I do. I just don't want him to reap the rewards of my blood sweat and tears especially after how awfully he has treated me. I've told my parents how I feel but they are having none of it and have told me that they own half the business and are entitled to do with it as they please. AIBU in wanting to seek out some legal advice regarding this, I just fear my doing so my parents will cast me out.

OP posts:
Jux · 19/02/2019 10:09

Have you got that in writing?

AnxietyDream · 19/02/2019 11:07

Glad to hear things are getting resolved in the best possible way. You did the absolute right thing in showing them you would stand up for yourself.

I also think it's a good sign that your parents got scared of you being NC. That shows they still care about a relationship with you. I know people have poured a lot of vitriol on them, but it must be very tough having two children where one is rolling in money and the other scraping by, so in their heads making things more 'even' wasn't terrible.

I know in families the most feckless/useless child often gets the most help. It's not fair. But what parent can stand back and see their child suffer (even if it is that child's fault). Hopefully this will be a wake up call that they will lose you unless they start to also look at things from your point of view.

AryaStarkWolf · 19/02/2019 11:11

Jesus, sorry OP your parents sound awful. Imagine expecting to 50% of your business for a 10k loan to your child in the first place!

hellsbellsmelons · 19/02/2019 11:26

Nice update OP.
Well done on standing your ground.
If you move can your staff move with you or can they easily work remotely as well?
Congratulations on all your success.

Notwiththeseknees · 19/02/2019 14:58

I'm so pleased for you Smile

JRMisOdious · 19/02/2019 15:10

Haven’t built up a business but did have a brother who would punch me in the face at the drop of a hat too so can imagine perfectly just how let down you felt. You go, girl!

cstaff · 19/02/2019 15:26

Wow OP. I have just read this thread today. I can't believe anybody's parents could do this to them in normal circumstances. But in your circumstances that it just unbelievable. How they could think that it is ok to give their son a free directorship to their daughter's company just like that, especially with your history with your brother.

Well done for fighting back - they obviously weren't expecting that. You have been playing the good daughter for way too long now. Feck that. And all for a LOAN of £10,000 which was paid back.

4TeensAndABaby · 19/02/2019 16:34

Absolutely love your update OP. I hope it all goes smoothly for you Flowers

flumposie · 19/02/2019 17:17

Good luck to you moving forward.

Shelbybear · 19/02/2019 17:57

That's awful I really feel for u. I also think they shld have been happy to help you out and just get their initial money back. Can't believe they wanted 50% of ur business and now gifting the shares to r brother 😮 What the actual fuck!

Def get legal advice. Some have suggested starting again. Not ideal, but I would do it if u have to. What a terrible situation they have put u in I wld be so fuming! I think I'd be ready to disown them, so if they fall out with u so be it.

You are your business, don't let anyone else make money from your hard work.

scubadoobie · 19/02/2019 18:28

Damn.... I love a happy endingGrin

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 19/02/2019 19:18

Thanks for coming back. I had been thinking about you and hoping you had found a way forward.

I'm so glad you found it in yourself to stand up for what's right for yourself and it's worked out for you.

I'm sorry it's ended up lc with your parents, I know that's going to be hard and it will hurt but as you would probably agree it's likely for the best.

I just wanted to wish you the best of luck! Flowers

Anon10 · 19/02/2019 21:34

I’m sorry OP but your parent’s treatment of you sounds really awful! I would definitely find a good solicitor and look into dissolving the business and starting up afresh and informing your clients of the change. What terrible behaviour from your parents.

Anon10 · 19/02/2019 21:36

Just saw your update! Well done!!!

lunar1 · 19/02/2019 21:38

I'm so pleased you are getting your shares back. I kept wondering what had happened in the end.

Gth1234 · 20/02/2019 00:31

Sorry. but you aren't going to be able to dissolve the business without a fight. I think you're struggling to be honest.

Your dragon's den parents have done well out of you. The time to sort this was before your gave them 50%, not now.

Gth1234 · 20/02/2019 00:42

I've read the whole thread of your posts now. I assume you realise that the value of your parent's shares is now going to be a whole lot more than the 10K they paid.

You are going to need some proper advice if you don't pay them fair value for the shares, as I imagine there ought to be a (substantial) CGT liability in there somewhere.

Really they have been incredible greedy over the years. Maybe I'm wrong, but I would think most parents wouldn't try to shaft their kids. If you were all working together in a family business, then that's one thing, but given all they did was lend you some money, it's all pretty unsavoury to me.

I hope you get it all worked out to your satisfaction.

Original poster
Bubs101 · 20/02/2019 04:25

Thanks for the replies ladies!

Don't worry I've got all the logistics sorted out, and I'm making sure I'm getting a fair deal out of it (or as fair as it can be!), and everything is being done by the book so there is no way they can screw me over, especially when I have lawyers on my side. I honestly don't think my parents actually thought they were doing anything wrong, which doesn't excuse their behaviour, but in their eyes, everything was justified. They always talk about family being a unit and if one of us succeeds we all succeed as we help each other out etc. However, I think when the threat of legal action was bought up, and then them having a discussion with solicitors they realised that this big happy family they had tried so hard to maintain would come crashing down around them, they relented.

I don't want to say too much as this may give away my identity but my mother told me after it all when i asked her why they did this, she said they 'know my brother won't amount to much' and wanted to make sure he was looked after in some way and how they don't worry the same about me because I've 'always been so good' (eye roll). I explained to them how if they hadn't taken my money away from me, and threatened to give away my business I might have even offered them help, but that ship has since sailed and won't ever be coming back. My brother and I have had no contact throughout any of this.

Right now my relationship with my parents is surprisingly OK seeing all that has happened, we have minimal contact, but its all civil and I prefer it that way. I think they're just trying to cling onto what they have left with me, which I don't mind, it's nice to feel important and like how I feel actually matters for once. However, for the moment I'm just going to focus on my business and my relationship and moving house far away from them and their shit show.

Will be the last update ladies, as I just want to move forward now, but appreciate all of you x

OP posts:
Tiredand · 20/02/2019 17:31

Good result. Never give people shares in your business unless they are directly contributing to the profits. Should be a loan otherwise. At worst give them different class shares without voting rights which you can differentiate dividend in.

bubblegumunicorn · 20/02/2019 17:34

I know they said they will sell there shares back to you but another option would be to set up a second company and hand buisness oporations over to that one that way your current company would no longer be turning a profit and would just be coasting along and the new one would be bringing in all of the money!

TriciaH87 · 20/02/2019 17:35

Suggest buying them out idealy for what they paid and they could gift it to the child in a trust fund or to him. Tell them you feel that giving him half your business undermines the work you have done as you earnt your half making it a success and have returned their investment with interest if he is gifted half that undermines this at the very most if they are gifting their shares half should go to you giving you control of your company. You worked hard for this they should ideally sell the shares to you and keep the money for a rainy day

LiveThisLife · 20/02/2019 17:39

Huge well done OP! They were absolutely milkkgyou for so much money. Well done on your business and I hope you go from strength to strength now and if you move away and never see them again then have a fantastic life!

nauticant · 20/02/2019 17:52

This is terrific news Bubs101. This was one of those threads where the sheer unfairness of it was making me feel physically tense. Good luck in how you arrange things for the future.

Drum2018 · 20/02/2019 17:59

Only reading the thread now and great to see it's all resolved. Fair play to you for standing up for yourself and your rights.

russianwife · 20/02/2019 18:05

I’m actually appalled by the
Quality of responses you have gotten.. none business like. Mostly bitchy and confrontational..

Are you a business person or not? Essentially you were going to buy the shares from them so what’s the problem buying the shares from your brother ? I think your parents a trying to hint to you about family..

Make your parents a kind offer to pay your brother for their shares if they transfer the shares to you - as there always associated costs it would be efficient way of doing it.. offer a value of your choosing not someone else’s..

There are many ways to architect methods of cutting out or diluting shares and value etc ..
But at the end of the day .. you could finalise this and look like a nice kind professional business person...rather than the selfish individual you come across as.

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