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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want parents to give away half of my business?

430 replies

Bubs101 · 11/01/2019 23:18

First-time poster here! So go easy on me.

I set up a small consultancy business about 10 years ago and am doing quite well for myself now, however it hasn't been easy. My parents gave me an initial sum of £10,000 to help set things up, however, this was on the condition that they own 50%, which at the time I agreed to, as they were my parents and kindly invested in the business and me. 10 years later their initial investment has been paid off and they have been regularly receiving dividends, so have done quite well of the initial £10,000.

However, as I'm in a good place financially I asked them about buying back the shares they have, gradually, so I can have full ownership of the business, this was initially agreed that I would be able to do this when they first invested as my parents "don't want anything from me". But now this is where it gets tricky as they have now refused saying they are going to gift my brother the shares instead! As he is expecting his first DC (I have none) I'm shell-shocked and livid. My brother and I have a very complex relationship and he was physically and verbally abusive to me before I moved out, though he faced no consequences as he was the golden child who could do no wrong! My parents are aware of how I feel about my brother and we are virtually NC, except Christmas where we are civil for the sake of the family.

I'm just really upset by this and was wondering if there was a way I could stop this from happening. I've worked so hard to get my business to where it is, my brother is working but has always expected handouts and is naturally smarter than me but very very lazy so he earns about a third of what I do. I just don't want him to reap the rewards of my blood sweat and tears especially after how awfully he has treated me. I've told my parents how I feel but they are having none of it and have told me that they own half the business and are entitled to do with it as they please. AIBU in wanting to seek out some legal advice regarding this, I just fear my doing so my parents will cast me out.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bubs101 · 19/02/2019 01:03

Hi everyone!

In the end, I went to a solicitor who informed me of my rights, and whilst legally there was little I could do. I think the fact I actually stood up for myself for once and went NC for the whole time, scared them a little, and my parents have agreed to sell the shares back to me.

In the process of buying them back, but I was planning on moving away which I've now decided to speed up, luckily I can operate my business from anywhere. Will be going LC with my parents, they can fund my brother off their own backs, not mine.

But thanks for all your advice ladies!

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 19/02/2019 01:18

That’s good news

Bullies often back down when confronted

TheSerenDipitY · 19/02/2019 01:21

good for you Bubs101
hopefully now that you have stood up for yourself and let them know you wont take their shit no more that you will be able to deal with all of them a lot easier from now on and with a ton less stress!
Great outcome!

ThisIsNotMyRealName1 · 19/02/2019 01:30

Good update Bubs :)

ohfourfoxache · 19/02/2019 01:37

I’m really pleased for you, well done Thanks

Now you just need to remember what they’ve done, and don’t let them wheedle their way back in

INeedToGetHealthy · 19/02/2019 01:42

I'm so glad that it has worked out well for you.

ClaireElizabethBeuchampFraser · 19/02/2019 02:13

I am absolutely disgusted that your parents are insisting you pay for their shares of your business! They are the lowest of the low! A bank would never rob you the way your financially manipulative and abusive parents have! I have honestly never been more appalled! They were completely out of order in demanding half of your business in the first place- you have repaid their loan ten fold- a decent and loving parent would have signed your other shares over as soon as you had repaid the £10,000. To continue profiting to the tune of £100,000 is utterly shameful! To then demand you ‘buy’ the shares to your own company- that you alone have worked for is fucking disgraceful!

I would not be surprised if they have been sending your B these dividends, feeling entitled to do so and only tried to make it official when you asked for your shares back. Your P and B have had enough out of your business- they may as well have stolen your blood, sweat and tears. They have behaved disgracefully and it is utterly appalling- no it is unforgivable! To profit from your blood, sweat and tears is utterly shameful- you do not deserve to be treated the way you have OP! They don’t deserve the title of parents, let alone a loving daughter!

I hope that you can reclaim your business fully ASAP and completely sever contact with the toxic trio! (If that is your wish).

mokapot · 19/02/2019 02:23

I’m proud of your empowerment

Merryoldgoat · 19/02/2019 03:37

Well done!! I’m so pleased for you.

Igmum · 19/02/2019 04:03

Well done OP and good luck 💐💐

AcrossthePond55 · 19/02/2019 04:17

Glad to hear that you're getting this taken care of, even if it does seem unfair that you're having to buy back the shares. But I'm sure it's worth the price to get them out of the business.

I assume you're having legal papers drawn up for them to sign off any interest in your business?

TakeMe2Insanity · 19/02/2019 05:42

So pleased you just didn’t let this happen to you. Well done!

Sweetpea55 · 19/02/2019 05:48

Marvelous.. Wel done

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 19/02/2019 06:14

Fantastic news, well done! You going to a solicitor probably scared them too - showed you meant business.

I really hope this is sorted out very quickly for you. Thanks

Isleepinahedgefund · 19/02/2019 07:00

So glad this has worked out for you, it could have been so awful and messy! Paying the money is worth it to be shut of them. Good luck with your move!

crikeycrumbsblimey · 19/02/2019 07:03

Well done - I hope they don’t try and screw you on the shares!

justthecat · 19/02/2019 07:12

Good for you 💐

Esspee · 19/02/2019 07:12

So nice when the OP gets back to let us know how things are progressing. Your parents have behaved disgracefully. Personally I would have moved all the business to a new company and allowed the one they have shares in to fold.

NicoAndTheNiners · 19/02/2019 07:17

I'm glad you're getting your shares back.

I was horrified reading this. As a parent to a young adult all I want is to help and support her. Yes, I'd happily do an unofficial business loan but the most I'd want is to have it paid back with rate of inflation type interest. Not to make 100k out of 10k. I can't comprehend parents who would do that.

I'd recommend the stately homes thread on relationships OP, support for people with toxic parents. Also the Toxic Parents book by Susan Forward. Will help you see their actions, etc for what they really are because your parents don't sound very nice. All the being nice one minute and being cold the next is classic toxic parent controlling behaviour.

Iloveacurry · 19/02/2019 07:19

Good for you and best of luck with the move.

Dippypippy1980 · 19/02/2019 07:32

Oh this one made my blood boil!!

I am glad your parents saw sense in the end, and you can but the shares back.

They saw a nice little earner for your brother and didn’t even care that he would be be benefiting from your hard work.

I am sorry they weren’t more supportive of you.

Magenta82 · 19/02/2019 07:33

That's great!
I'm so pleased you stood up to them.

Janethevirgo · 19/02/2019 07:33

Good news op
Business back &lc with bullying parents = win/win

PlumPorter · 19/02/2019 07:34

I've just read this thread for the first time in the morning.

Appalling! But I'm glad you've got it sorted.

Can't say I'd be happy that they were going to gift their shares to your brother but will sell them back to you though, if I were you! That just sums it up really, doesn't it?

Anyway, pleased for positive outcome. x

BookwormMe2 · 19/02/2019 07:38

Love a happy ending update! Really pleased it's worked out in your favour, OP - I read your original post and couldn't believe your parents could be so grabby in favour of your brother. Enjoy putting some distance between you when you move!