Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be miffed at school for telling DS Jesus loves him

145 replies

wwdorado · 11/01/2019 20:45

DS is 5 and started reception at an infant school that is not (officially??) affiliated with the church.
Obviously I understand that this is a Christian county and they do the Lord's Prayer/grace etc learn about religion (s) but since starting school he has started talking about Jesus and God. All the time. He says he loves god and Jesus and that Jesus loves him.
Someone must be telling him this?
Is this normal?
We are both just WTF - both of us not religious in the slightest.

Someone tell me it's just a phase?

OP posts:
YuriGeller · 12/01/2019 08:49

Presumably whoever said it believes it. Your kid is going to encounter many people with different views and have to get used to evaluate those views as opinions on his own steam.

Auramigraine · 12/01/2019 08:51

My child goes to a catholic school, I applied for that school as it had a brilliant reputation and I also felt it was the best when I visited so I have to accept that my child will be taught about religion. She is in reception now and has said a few things about We are here because of Jesus and how church is gods house etc, I just smile and nod (not religious at all) the other day I asked if she did maths and she said no RE today..... inside I thought what a waste of time but I know that’s my opinion and I knew would be taught when I applied so can’t moan about it. I do have the opinion though that teaching children of all religions is good knowledge for when they are adults but personally find RE taught as a subject/GCSE a waste of time. Again my personal opinion.

JassyRadlett · 12/01/2019 08:57

You don't have to send your children to a C of E VA school but if you do there will be Christian prayers.

Although of course for many it is their only option for a school place, unless they have the means to pay.

So they don’t have to send their kids there, technically, but if they want to send their kids to school, it’s the only option.

JassyRadlett · 12/01/2019 08:59

Presumably whoever said it believes it.

Presumably if they’re bright enough to be working in a school, they know it’s a belief not shared by all, and have the language and tools to explain it to the children looking to them for information in that way?

Knittink · 12/01/2019 08:59

My dc went to a CofE school because that is my village school (and almost all the schools nearby are also CofE anyway). We are atheists, and I suspect the Head isn't religious either. My dc are strongly atheist - they were tolerant but bemused in the face of Christian stuff taught at school.

Non-church schools tend to do their brief and probably pretty half-hearted 'daily act of worship' because they have to. Banging on about Jesus loving them is not on imo!

Aridane · 12/01/2019 09:01

as long as they don't just learn about Christianity

My bad Blush

I misread this as jist don't learn - ie they can learn about all world religions but just not Christianity!!

bengalcat · 12/01/2019 09:02

People get miffed at all sorts of things so no you’re not being unreasonable . Guess Jesus loves you is better than JC hates you . As another poster said upthread why not tell him about other religions and other people’s beliefs so he can see one size doesn’t fit all .

JassyRadlett · 12/01/2019 09:05

Knit, we’re in the same situation - DS is at a CofE school despite being in a densely populated area because there are so many CofE schools that have half an intake coming from quite a distance away, meaning that the pressure on the community schools is huge and their catchments are tiny. We had the option of our nearby CofE primary (we are equidistant between two CofE and one community, no hope of getting into the community one) or a failing CofE one 40 minutes away.

To be fair, they’ve managed to turn DS into a confirmed atheist in just over 2 years despite us being very careful about belief/lack thereof so as not to undermine the school.

Birdshitbridgegotme · 12/01/2019 09:07

My son came home telling me that when god is sad it rains. And when there is a rainbow he's happy. He said the ta had told him. I talked to his class teacher and explained I wasn't religious and I'm more than happy for him to learn about different religions but I would rather they didn't say stuff like this as there is a scientific reason for rain and rainbows and I would rather he learnt the real reason. For what it's worth though my son does seem to love churches and talks about believing in god and I'm happy for him to explore what he wants even if I'm not religious

Peanutss · 12/01/2019 09:12

For what it's worth OP I grew up with religious parents (Christians) and religious grandparent's.

I went to church every Sunday and my family were heavily involved in it.

I went to a religious primary school, secondary school and then onto their feeder college where religious studies was a compulsory subject.

I am not religious now. I grew, matured and became an adult with my own opinions still and I made up my own mind that I didn't believe.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong. Just that I was fed religion as fact pretty much every day of my childhood and I still managed to come out the other side with my own opinions and beliefs!

frogsoup · 12/01/2019 09:15

"Schools are required to hold collective worship of a Christian nature unless they are of a different faith tradition. No exceptions."
In practice that is definitely not the case. My kids school is explicitly non religious. They do remember but assemblies have no Christian character whatsoever. It's ofsted outstanding so there are clearly no negative consequences to schools ignoring the rules.

I can't bear the posts that always pop up on this kind of thread saying 'if you don't like it move schools'. How ignorant do you have to be of the schools admission system in vast swathes of the country not to realise that most parents have NO CHOICE in what school their child is admitted to?!

frogsoup · 12/01/2019 09:16

They do RE, not do remember -autocorrect fail.

PoutySprout · 12/01/2019 09:27

In practice that is definitely not the case. My kids school is explicitly non religious. They do remember but assemblies have no Christian character whatsoever. It's ofsted outstanding so there are clearly no negative consequences to schools ignoring the rules.

In England. Wales is different. 😡

WH1SPERS · 12/01/2019 09:27

I would seriously suggest, WH1SPERS that you avoid going down the “Christianity is better than Islam” route because you’ll just end up embarrassing yourself

I said no such thing. I seriously suggest that you improve your comprehension skills.

PoutySprout · 12/01/2019 09:28

I'm not saying it's right or wrong. Just that I was fed religion as fact pretty much every day of my childhood and I still managed to come out the other side with my own opinions and beliefs!

So it was a total waste of time. Think what else you could have learned in that time!

Pissedoffdotcom · 12/01/2019 09:34

My problem is religion being taught as fact. It clearly isn't fact, it is a belief, and should be taught as such. Telling a four/five year old that god made the world & they should respect him for that is bonkers.

And my DD goes to a religious school because the alternatives aren't as good. Sometimes it isn't as simple as 'move schools' when you want the best education for your kids

YuriGeller · 12/01/2019 09:37

My problem is religion being taught as fact. It clearly isn't fact, it is a belief, and should be taught as such. Telling a four/five year old that god made the world & they should respect him for that is bonkers.

Everyone thinks their beliefs are the truth, it's much easier to qualify once (say "people disagree on things and you have to think carefully what you want to accept as truth") than to have everyone qualify every sentence with "this is just my opinion..."

AllPizzasGreatAndSmall · 12/01/2019 09:46

You don't have to send your children to a C of E VA school but if you do there will be Christian prayers.

I know this isn't the case here but I find it annoying when people send their child to church school then get annoyed when they come home talking about Jesus. If it is a non religious school ie a County Primary I can see your point totally.

The problem is lots of people don't have a choice. Often their local school, which is the only school they realistically can send their child to, particularly if they live in a village, will be e.g. Appletree C of E Primary School. Obviously if people opt to send their child to a catholic school then they have to accept the religious focus ( although I personally don't think any religious schools should be state-funded.)

Mishappening · 12/01/2019 09:48

I get very cross about this. I do not mind what children are taught about religion as long as it is prefaced by "some people believe..." This nonsense about not getting into heaven is so cruel and totally out of order.

There needs to be a separation of church and state and ALL schools should be non-denominational. Religion is an important part of their learning, or how else will they understand the history of their culture, art, poetry etc.? But it should not be taught as fact.

It is very hard for parents who want their child to go to a school that does not feed them one religion. Where are they to go?

Peanutss · 12/01/2019 09:52

So it was a total waste of time. Think what else you could have learned in that time

I agree, the time I spent in my RE classes was a waste of time but I still went to all the other usual classes and learnt a normal curriculum. I didn't just sit in Mass for the entirety of my education.

I think perhaps I was very fortunate in that non of the teachers (bar the RE) seemed to be religious and so I still had a normal education in other subjects i.e. my science teacher didn't tell me that it rained because God was crying.

cathay123 · 12/01/2019 09:52

My son came home from Reception thrilled that he now knew how the world was made - God had made it. His was at a
C of E school (no other choice locally here). I had to explain about the big bang just for the sake of balance. The school continued to push religion on him for the whole time he was there. Now he is a complete atheist and hates all religions.

Pissedoffdotcom · 12/01/2019 09:53

YuriGeller a 5 year old needs telling that it is okay if they don't believe. In a conversation or debate you don't need to prefix everything with 'my belief is' but when you are teaching young children about one belief system out of however many, they need to know it is okay not to believe. Personally i'd much rather someone have to say that ten times in one session than have to spend days reassuring my DD that i am not going to hell because i don't believe. She is at the stage currently where she rolls her eyes at anything we say but believes without question what she learns on her Wednesday church visit. Because we don't believe we don't count. That's pretty vile & heavy handed for small children

masterandmargarita · 12/01/2019 10:14

I'm not affiliated with any religion in particular but I have absolutely no problem with religious people saying things like this to my kids. They are just all part of the stories and myths embedded in our society and all open to interesting debate in our house.

mostlydrinkstea · 12/01/2019 10:28

Schools in England and Wales have to teach RE. They don't teach it as fact. It is taught in the context of knowing ourselves and our culture and other people and their culture so that we can function in a multicultural society. Each local authority has to have an agreed syllabus. The one fromEssex is here schools.essex.gov.uk/other/Essex_SACRE/Pages/Essex-SACRE.aspx and includes resources for humanism which I know many RE teachers have been asking for.

Church schools have a different syllabus which will focus on Christianity but will bring in other faiths depending on the local context. RE when taught well teaches children how to ask questions and they get to practice that on faith and worldview.

Dahlietta · 12/01/2019 11:00

My son came home telling me that when god is sad it rains. And when there is a rainbow he's happy. He said the ta had told him.

To be fair though, that isn't even Christianity - that's just bollocks Grin

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.