Toddler in my garden

[Yabbers]

Our house has a public path running past it. Our front garden is separated by a wide strip of grass, then our drive, then our front garden. It’s obviously our garden and not public space.

Mother, granny and toddler outside, toddler running about kept running on to our drive, up the path hitting the door then back across the grass. I do get twitchy about kids going on our drive as our neighbour sometimes has visitors who race up it, but not a problem as I assume the mum is paying attention. But, it is still my front garden so I’m a bit that’s a little rude. The mum and gran are watching him, smiling indulgently.

Then he starts taking the top off one of our garden lights. Puts it back and goes and does it to another. Giving it a good wobble as he does it. (They are those solar ones you push into the grass)

I opened the door and said to the mum “excuse me, do you mind?” Not shouting, just quite calm, he’s just a baby I didn’t want to scare him. She started saying sorry but then rolled her eyes and turned to granny and gave one of those smiles. I said, I didn’t mind him running in the garden, but not playing with those lamps as that’s a bit rude. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

WIBU to ask her nicely to stop her son doing this?

Electric fencing would do that much better. Along with a dirty great sign.

It’s probably not terribly neighbourly though

I must admit though DH and I did discuss whether it would be terribly evil to put ankle height stakes with strong twine between them. We thought someone might break their ankle in the dark though...

Surely nobody would break their ankle because they wouldn’t be trespassing on your property? And if they did break their ankle they wouldn’t be in a hurry to trespass again. Win-win

@trulybadlydeeply I’ve filed away the rat poison comment to use on my next trespasser! Or I might just put down rat poison

I know Whirlie but there’d be guilt.

(Love the nickname btw)

I know Whirlie but there’d be guilt

Would there though?

Less and less as time goes on to be fair...

You are a bad influence Whirlie.

Maybe I should have nicked some of the 'Rattlesnakes, take care' signs, complete with wriggly looking picture, that I saw casually used in some parts of the South West US!

I don't understand the reluctance to assert yourself. I understand the caravan story - that poster made a wee boy very happy that day. But if someone's letting (or even encouraging) their kids to run rampage round your garden, or piss in my window box.....they need to be told they're out of line. Perhaps it's something that came with my more senior age (I would NOT have asserted myself like this at 25). Life has toughened me up and now I have a reputation as the local grumpy woman. And that's fine by me. If it stops random cyclists dumping their bikes in my flower beds whilst they spend their money at the cafe, I'm happy. I always try to make sure I time my "you need to move your bikes NOW" with the appearance of their coffee and cakes, for maximum annoyance factor.

@Bloomcounty

I was asserting myself. A calm “excuse me, do you mind” was appropriate not to upset the teeny tiny toddler. I’d have yelled at bigger kids.

A very sensitive sprinkler system?
Actual electrified lights?
Motion sensor blood curdling scream?

How about a motion-activated recording of someone shouting "Get off my land" in a really loud voice? Especially if you could get someone who sounds like Brian Blessed.

We once had a gaggle of women walk up our front path and peer in through our front window!!

My mate used to live in a cottage that fronted straight on to the pavement, in a pretty village that's a bit of a favourite with tourists.

She and her DP got so pissed off with people with their noses pressed against the front window, gawping in at them, that he took to walking round the house naked from the waist down.

Amazingly, they never got a visit from police.

This is why I can't wait to move to a house with a proper wall and gate boundary at the front. YANBU.

We have just recently bought a house. At the weekend I caught the next door neighbour stood in the middle of my drive praising her little boy as he repeatedly rode up and down my drive on his bike into my garden

I live in a touristy area in a house with a front garden, a garden wall and a gate. Last summer I had to escort a couple out of the garden who were actually standing on the front doorstep taking photos of the wisteria. I had tried gestures, but in the end I had to physically usher them out and close the gate behind them. The male was laughing and staring into the house whilst the woman wielded the huge camera.

As I said upthread, we get tradesmen stopping for lunch. Our house is unusual in the fact it has a natural pond in the front garden, think 120ft (more of a lake really). It's got natural beauty in spades, ducks, gorgeous reeds and water lilys. I understand why they stop and as they do it at the end of the drive I tend to let them get on with it but it's clearly private property and fenced.

That said, the lady we bought the house from tells me she's arrived home many times to find people actually fishing it. I cannot wait for the day (and the thread I will make) that I come home to find a CF fishing my garden....there will be blood.

OP, my comment wasn't to you in particular, it was a general you, so that was a bit of a misunderstanding.

Bloom it’s not a inability to be assertive, it’s an awareness that I have to coexist with these people for years.

I don’t live in a very big place. Everyone more or less knows everyone. If I yell at someone the repercussions will go on for years.

I *have asked people to remove their dogs from my lawn, I have^ asked people to remove children from my garden.

Being arsey because you stepped on my grass is a little harder though. Where’s the line between someone taking the piss and me turning into Margo Ledbetter? It’s not always easy to tell.

OP, your comments strike a familiar chord!

We also have a public footpath running by (and through) our garden. It’s been quite a challenge to get the public to respect the fact that they are only legally entitled to the footpath, and not to the adjacent land (our garden).

I initially naively assumed the existing signs asking people to keep to the footpath would be sufficient, but they just haven’t worked.
I’ve been shouted at and sworn at for verbally politely asking people to keep off.

This, despite our best efforts to keep the adjacent land in good condition so that it satisfies regulatory bodies including the Environment Agency.

How we have addressed this is to Work with the Highways Agency and put low level wire fencing along the footpath so that the width of the footpath is maintained to its legal obligation, but prevents people from straying into private property.

Even though we have done everything by the book legally, and have maintained access as we are required to in terms of making sure that the footpath is open for use, we have faced quite some criticism and abuse from those who wanted to continue to stray off into our private land.

I do sympathise; it does feel like there is a sense of entitlement from the general public when it comes to public footpaths. On one hand, the expectation of the right to roam wherever they please - even if that means going onto adjacent privately owned land - and secondly, not respecting that privately owned land, using it and abusing it and expecting someone else to pick up the tab for its ongoing maintenance and repair.

I was asserting myself. A calm “excuse me, do you mind” was appropriate not to upset the teeny tiny toddler
You were absolutely right to intervene, no doubt about it, but I personally think the above response is aggressive in its tone. It is seething rarely said in a calm and smiley manner, more expressed in a tone that shows your pissed off.

If I'd been the mum, my instinct would have been to apologise right away, even profusably, but if the first word said coming from the front door had been 'excuse me do you mimd', I would likely have called my kid, told him not to go there again, but might too rolled my eyes to the person.

It's annoying but at this stage a 'sorry I'm not sure you realise but this part of the green area is my private garden and I'm worried your boy could break my light' would have probably elicited a more pleasant response from the mum.

f I'd been the mum, my instinct would have been to apologise right away, even profusably, but if the first word said coming from the front door had been 'excuse me do you mimd', I would likely have called my kid, told him not to go there again, but might too rolled my eyes to the person.

She could have run out with tea and biscuits for them as well.

CFs take offence when anyone tries to get them to respect other people's boundaries.

This drives me nuts! I actually don’t have a garden but I have kids. We walk past many gardens on the way to and from school and I tell my children off if they even step on other peoples driveways. Probably a tad over the top but I want them to understand property and boundaries and that they could well be shouted at by the owners for wandering onto property that isn’t theirs. But I do see other children just charging across the front gardens of strangers, Mother’s just merrily watching them! One morning I overhead two Mother’s talking about how the school used to have some pedigree because of the area and very few working class families but it’s gone downhill....meanwhile their two children were running around other peoples gardens completely unsupervised and one tripped over a planter, knocking it over and fell over and the women still didn’t notice.

I have cared for children who were not taught about other peoples personal property.They would run over peoples gardens thinking this was fine.They were told by myself that this was not fine.Children need to be taught right from wrong

I think you behaved very decently.
What weird people.

My DS has a piece of land next to his house - fenced and with a padlocked gate, and a notice screwed to the gate announcing 'Private property'. He has lost count of the times that people have lifted their dogs over the gate and then climbed over to 'walk' them - i.e. let them poop and then go away without clearing up, and one day he even found someone trying to break the padlock off. He said 'I thought this was a public footpath'. It never has been, and when invited to think about why there was a fence, gate, padlock and notice, he got quite nasty.

Ooh I tend to roll my eyes when my kid is being a PITA, it never occurred to me other people may think I was doing it to them!