Toddler in my garden

[Yabbers]

Our house has a public path running past it. Our front garden is separated by a wide strip of grass, then our drive, then our front garden. It’s obviously our garden and not public space.

Mother, granny and toddler outside, toddler running about kept running on to our drive, up the path hitting the door then back across the grass. I do get twitchy about kids going on our drive as our neighbour sometimes has visitors who race up it, but not a problem as I assume the mum is paying attention. But, it is still my front garden so I’m a bit that’s a little rude. The mum and gran are watching him, smiling indulgently.

Then he starts taking the top off one of our garden lights. Puts it back and goes and does it to another. Giving it a good wobble as he does it. (They are those solar ones you push into the grass)

I opened the door and said to the mum “excuse me, do you mind?” Not shouting, just quite calm, he’s just a baby I didn’t want to scare him. She started saying sorry but then rolled her eyes and turned to granny and gave one of those smiles. I said, I didn’t mind him running in the garden, but not playing with those lamps as that’s a bit rude. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

WIBU to ask her nicely to stop her son doing this?

I live at the top of a hill and have a long front garden. Kids who live further down the hill frequently come up to the top with the sole purpose of riding back down on their bike or sledge etc. Fine on the public road but very annoying when they decide to make the ride longer by starting from my front door and riding over my front garden as well! I’m sick of telling kids to keep off my property and I feel like a meanie but it drives me nuts. The entire hill has open plan front gardens and the deeds prevent boundaries being erected.

I'm madly territorial. I blame my dear departed dad. He was too

I didn’t used to be. When it was just the odd lazy teenager cutting a wee bit of corner I didn’t mind but things have rather escalated. The path is very well used all day and night long (leads to station and pub) by over a hundred people a day. More than half of those are now walking/cycling/dog walking across our grass and it’s suffering, we’ve already lost some plants.

Plants at the corners is a reasonable idea and one we’re considering.

I really wonder if I just need to completely lose my shit with someone. It’ll be all round the village in about 15 minutes.

Thanks Yabbers!

An electric fence should do it !

I would have reminded them - politely but firmly - that my front garden is not a public space, and asked them to keep their child out of it.

I've sometimes had to do the same with my own front garden.

Some people simply have no idea of how to behave, so they need to be told.
And if they don't like it, tough. In such circs. no amount of eye rolling would bother me one bit.

You just need two signs saying Keep Orf my Land we have been tempted we live down a private lane with no turn if cars parked at end (which they are entitled to do) but we have the biggest drive plus a small lawned area we have had issues with delivery VANS turning on our grass and churning it up. We put logs on the edge - I mean over a foot wide and round and about 2ft plus tall. They still bloody drive over those!

Can you plant an evergreen shrub in each corner perhaps? Or place a plant pot there? At least to mark out the 'square' of your property?

The corners are a problem as DD in her walking frame has the turning circle of a bus 😂. We’ll need to get on with re-design it’s only been 5 bloody years

What about planting some spiky shrubs around the perimeter? You'll still have the open plan look but it will give a clear indication of the boundary and people aren't likely to trample tough, low growing shrubs. I'm not suggesting pretty flowers here but a horticultural barrier. I think it's the openness of it which invites CF behaviour.

My yard/garden runs down the side of my house. Accessed by wrought iron gates. Lovely sun trap, safe for DC and I have cafe furniture set up at the end. A few years ago my DC came to me and said "the man says can he use the loo?" Man? What man son? So DC takes me outside to find a couple sitting in my yard, where DC are playing, my washing on the line, eating butties.
Didn't let them use the loo funnily enough.

I think perfectly justified next time to tell the little sod to GET OFF MY PATH AND DO NOT PLAY WITH MY LIGHTS.
We also have a public footpath and there is a little boy who could not pass our caravan (parked nearest the footpath) without demanding to see it, he throws a right strop and I did feel sorry for his poor mum who clearly passes one way to school and back again with older sibling too twice a day, and looked completely mortified.
So it happened I came home from work the other day while little James was throwing his usual tantrum and I asked if I could invite him in to have a look, got the keys, and showed him and his mum round the inside of the caravan, how the fold out bed worked etc.
Have to say it's completely demystified things for James - he no longer throws a stop and wants to stop at our 'little house on wheels', he does wave if I'm at the window but no more tantrums.

I did wonder about doing that, but since being on MN I’ve learned that one must simply never talk to another person’s child

You've been brain-washed! If anyone is damaging my property I am absolutely within my rights to tell them to stop it, the child's brattish behaviour is clearly condoned by the women so you may need to yell Stop that at their little cherub. A;ways remember 'gentle' parenting is a large part of 'nEGLigENT' parenting.

Tell them to leave your property immediately. If the child were injured you could be held liable.

Don't pussyfoot around this. They were extremely rude.

We once had a gaggle of women walk up our front path and peer in through our front window!! I asked them to leave. They did, and I never saw them agin.

Some people have no respect for others.

FurzeandHarebells - ''More than half of those are now walking/cycling/dog walking across our grass and it’s suffering, we’ve already lost some plants.''

I feel the anger growing in me just reading this!

OP - ''The corners are a problem as DD in her walking frame has the turning circle of a bus''

Right. There's nothing for it but to install a loud alarm and recorded message triggered by someone messing with your lights or walking on your grass ;)

I was walking in the grounds of a MASSIVE country estate near us last weekend (it's allowed, around the lake) and someone miles away triggered something (went too near the church i assume) and set off the above. Mahoosive alarm booming across the fields and a robotic voice saying YOU HAVE TRIGGERED THE ALARM. A VEHICLE IS ON THE WAY. REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE! My God it scared the shit out of DH and I (and all the sheep and geese). Very loud and like something out of a science fiction film. I was impressed tbh!

Next time (if there is one) tell them they'll need to wash his hands, shoes and clothes when they get home, to ensure they've got all the rat poison off him, as you've just put a new lot down.

@tillytrotter

I wouldn’t have hesitated if the mum hadn’t been nearby. Plus, he was only just a toddler, maybe about 15 months. They cry too easy 😄

I once found a woman in my garden (clearly a private garden with a long driveway)taking cutting from all my plants. She was totally unashamed when I asked her what she was doing.
The thing is if she'd knocked on my door and asked for a few cuttings I'd happily have given her some, it's the entitlement that annoyed me - and I see it everywhere (a woman at my slimming world group this morning letting her child pull all the displays topieces and just grinnng vacantly)

Can you get a big 'private property keep off' sign ?

I recently saw a car parked at the side of someone's house on a lane with a big cardboard sign on the windscreen saying

"This is my car.
It is not a dog's toilet
Thank you"

Could you apply the same to your lamps?
"These are lamps IN MY GARDEN. Please do not touch"

@Laiste

Love that idea! With a backing track of machine gun fire.

@trulybadlydeeply

😂rat poison!

"Roll your eyes at me ONE MORE TIME BITCH"

😂😂😂😂😂

Oh I feel for you OP and all the other posters with similar experiences.

It's all open plan where I live as well, opposite my house is what is supposed to be a decorative patch of grass with a tree or two, it's rather pretty.

However, some children from across the way - they don't live in my road - started to play on it in the summer, which really doesn't bother me, I'm more than happy to see children kicking a ball around in a happy way, that was until the ball hit my kitchen window several times and the wall beneath the window too many times to count: thud, thud, thud.

Each time this happened one or more of them would run across my flower bed and across my grass to retrieve the ball.

I must admit they did try not to hit the window, not always successfully, after I pointed out to them that their parents wouldn't be too happy if they had to pay for a broken window.

To be honest i'd have to put a low looped chain up with little posts or something to clearly denote the boundary.

Electric fencing would do that much better. Along with a dirty great sign.

I was expecting this to be like shaun of the dead, There's a girl in the garden!