Help exDH suicidal

[worriedfuckingsick]

Posting her for traffic.
Don't want to drip feed - cheating ex husband (several affairs) has now decided that he wants to be a family again. Except his idea of being a family is basically controlling me. He's controlled me for years and I've told him no more. So he's shut himself away (very close by) and said he's basically going to kill himself.
WTF do I/can I do??
He's saying that if I don't want my kid to be damaged and lose Daddy then I'd do what he was asking to make sure she didn't 😭😭

Take absolutely no notice he’s continuing with his controlling mind games, ignore, ignore.

I hope you've told the police by now, OP. It's the only way you can stop him manipulating you like this.

If he chooses to turn violent when they arrive, that's up to him.

I had a manipulative, emotionally abusive ex do this to me years ago. He never carried it out, it was all part of the control.

In the end I had no choice but to call the police, tell them he was threatening suicide and then disengage.

I hope you're OK

He's still controlling you. Well done for calling the police

As everyone else has said, you ring the police, tell them he’s threatened suicide and ask them to conduct a welfare check. And disengage. He’s doing it to control you.

Dont want to be alarmist but also do not allow unsupervised access to your children, this is a very volatile situation and men in this state can do terrible things . Protect them and you .

Acually that’s a good point. He shouldn’t having unsupervised (or possibly any) access if he’s actively suicidal and making threats.

I had an ex who said if I divorced him he’d have to move away and not see our DDs as it would hurt too much to live close and not be with us any more. That stopped me from starting proceedings at the time. Now we are divorced years later, guess what? He lives in the next village, but as he has discovered he has no control over me or our DDs (as they are now old enough to know their own minds) he doesn’t see any of us.

I believe that if someone truly intends to commit suicide, they already have a plan. The police are best placed to find this out - and will also make sure he has the number for the Samaritans. He is not your responsibility OP, and by not interacting with him you will show him he has no control over you. At the moment he has you scared - let the police take the strain.

Wow. Like others have said. Block the knob head and call the police. What a pathetic excuse of a human

Oh and my DH dated someone like that who threatened suicide if he left. He left and hell she's still alive.

Whatever you do don't engage with him. Don't answer your phone, don't respond to texts, don't go around. If he's a risk to himself the police can get him the help he needs. If he's being malicious, they can get it on record and charge him. Either way you should get some advice from them of what to do.

Hope you're ok OP, just want to say I think you did the right thing not just by calling the police but also removing your daughter from the situation.

Police have been. He's alive. Not sure how they're gonna progress from here because they said they do think he needs mental help but he's a grown man so he'll have to get it if he wants to. Access will be supervised for the time being and I've made it clear any more of this shit and I'm going completely NC including DD

I'd go NC anyway OP. Greyrock him. You really want a lunatic like that in your daughters life? Really? Even if he is her father...

Well done

Go no contact NOW. All of this bullshit had been an attempt to control you. Take control and protect yourself and your child. Your ex deserves none of your sympathy.

He may try this again. My ex tried more than once to pull this type of stunt, among other things. I simply went NC and let the police deal with him.

He must have heard on the grapevine just how angry I was at his last stunt, where he dragged our DD into it, as he hasn't tried since.

If he does try it again the message will be responded to with 'fuck off' and complete blocking. He can only email me anyway I've blocked him on all SM and my phone

Well done for calling the police.

Step away now, you can't do anymore.

I had the same from abusive exh - was told to disengage completely but didn’t. Regretted it big time, it’s so clear now that he used it to try and worm his way back in. And it worked 😡. Just more control, but in a different form.

Brilliant advice to call the police and leave it in their hands and telling him that’s what you’ll do. It is highly unlikely he will do it, but on the tiny chance he does you will know you did the right thing by escalating it. The police would have a duty of care to him, but YOU most definitely don’t. It may still feel like it, and he will do everything he can to reinforce those thoughts but he is NOT your problem. Not your responsibility. Good luck with it all.

Ah - should’ve RTWT! Well done, completely the right thing to do, now and if he ever threatens similar again. I’ve a strong feeling he won’t though if it’s the police that turn up and not you...

Be careful, it may be total bullshit, probably is, but he could be a danger to your DC, so contact only with your family or a contact centre.

Go to court to ensure very limited access.

My dsis is going to speak to him later. She takes absolutely no shit and will be telling him in no
Uncertain terms that if he pulls this shit again she will be helping me and DC get away for good