Help exDH suicidal

[worriedfuckingsick]

Posting her for traffic.
Don't want to drip feed - cheating ex husband (several affairs) has now decided that he wants to be a family again. Except his idea of being a family is basically controlling me. He's controlled me for years and I've told him no more. So he's shut himself away (very close by) and said he's basically going to kill himself.
WTF do I/can I do??
He's saying that if I don't want my kid to be damaged and lose Daddy then I'd do what he was asking to make sure she didn't 😭😭

Personally I wouldn’t reply at all. Just report it with 999. Job done.

You found the strength the leave the cheating controlling shit. Hang on to that.

Tell him you’ve called the police so he can get the mental health help he needs and then block his number.

@NoLeslie my LOs friends not his. They would definitely be phoning if the police turned up outside his or pass on the info at school tomorrow

So what if it’s mentioned at school. I really don’t get the relevance.

He is gaslighting you, just as he always had. Ignore this ridiculous tantrum.

If he really wanted to kill himself he would have done, he's trying to control you.

Call the police, let them deal with it and ignore him.

I'll phone the police I've just rang my dsis to come round with DN then she's gonna ask if they want a sleepover at her house, so it's just me in the house if I have the police here or anything

So instead of answering awkward questions, you're gonna just sit there whilst someone threatens suicide?

My LO would be distraught and want to know why the police are at Daddy's, and if he doesn't kill him self then I wouldn't know how to explain it. Don't really wanna tell the truth but don't want to create the idea that daddy is in trouble either

Could you contact their parents and arrange for the children to be kept out of the way if you think it would be better that way? Honestly there are a million reasons for police to call on someone, don't let that stop you calling it in.

OP in the nicest possible way you need to just get on with calling the police and not worrying what other people think as it's none of their business. If they call to find out what's going on then ignore them.

You need to just call 999, let them know where he is and that he has text you to threaten suicide and they will deal with it. No police needed at your house

Tell him you are calling the police because he's clearly not in a good place and that you will never be back with him. If he's not serious he won't want the police there!

I am calling them just waiting for dsis to arrive, when I'm in the house alone I can deal with it myself and not worry about the police turning up here and LO seeing them either

I'm not worrying about what anyone thinks I'm
Just trying to avoid my LO seeing anything untoward. Especially if PP are correct and he has no intention of actually doing it 😕

Ah ok, am i right to assume your DC are the age to be whatsapping friends and you're worried about rumours etc? & their friend lives by your ex.

You could truthfully say they thought daddy needed help but it was a mix up. With a white lie that they got the name and address muddled up with someone else.

you need to detach, phone the police get them to speak to him, they'll take a dim view of this coercive behaviour I would imagine

if and when the neighbours call all you have to say is the truth " he called threatening me, and said he would kill himself, what else could I do?"

Get his threats and behaviour out in the open and let him face down any nosy neighbours.

I'm 110% certain that if the police turn up he will end up in cuffs. God this sounds so bloody ridiculous

I totally get why you want to protect DC, they are innocent and more important, especially as your ex may be full of bullshit.

It will go one of two ways.....police will turn up and if he is genuinely suicidal he will get the help he needs. If he is just calling your bluff, then hopefully after a visit from the police he won't try that shit again.

My ex has threatened suicide dozens of times over the years....it gets boring after a while and infuriates me because there are genuine people out there who need help and we got these tossers just slinging threats around like it's nothing

My ex did this. I fell for it, took him in, paid his debts off for him to the tune of £XXXX, got him help etc. Less than a week later he was out partying and going to strip clubs again.

I was an idiot.

Call the police and ignore him.

Dsis has just pulled up. Will update when I've spoken to the police thanks all x

Well, if he is in his own home they probably won't arrest him, there is some kind of loop hole about mental health detention, police can only do it in a public place. So it might not come to that.

I went through this last year with my ExH. He threatened suicide repeatedly. Going so far as to send me a photo of him with a noose. It was heartbreaking but it’s not your responsibility. He is responsible for his own actions.

Concentrate on yourself and any dc. Feel free to PM if it would help x

@NoLeslie he would be arrested for being violent 😞

Worried - if he is arrested, this will potentially help you protect your DC in the long run, I know that is not a great fact at the moment, and hope things turn out ok.