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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To delay DM meeting the newborn?

46 replies

FlumpyMummy · 09/01/2019 20:42

DM has the shingles, a very small blistered rash on her forehead which appeared today.

Trouble is - I am expecting DC anytime now! DM is chomping at the bit for love and cuddles with the newborn but I'm going to have to not let her aren't I? She will be devastated.

I have never had the chickenpox so am also at risk of catching it from her.

She says she will take anti-viral tablets and keep the rash covered but I'm still uncomfortable with her being in close proximity to my baby until the rash scabs over.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 09/01/2019 20:44

You'd need a medic to comment on this one, but better safe than sorry.

Original poster
FlumpyMummy · 09/01/2019 20:45

Thanks Single. I thought your username said Shingle then!

OP posts:
Flyingfish2019 · 09/01/2019 20:45

I heard the shingles can be deadly for a new born. You have to ask a pediatrician.

jessstan2 · 09/01/2019 20:45

Your mum would be more devastated to give you or your baby an illness.
Tell her she has to wait, it's not unreasonable. I'm surprised she feels well enough to come and see you, frankly. Shingles is quite debilitating.

gimmeadoughnut123 · 09/01/2019 20:46

Personally I would not chance it.

HeathRobinson · 09/01/2019 20:47

I wouldn't chance it either.

SnuggyBuggy · 09/01/2019 20:48

This happened to me, my poor DM had shingles when DD was born. We only had to wait 3 weeks which isn't long in the grand scheme of things.

coffeeandpyjamas · 09/01/2019 20:48

I wouldn’t even entertain the idea of her meeting the baby until she was totally better. Shingles has killed babies & it’s no walk in the park for adults either of you get it. Better safe than sorry 1 million percent.

Original poster
FlumpyMummy · 09/01/2019 20:49

She does not feel unwell with it apart from soreness. She didn't know she had the rash so it just appeared. She is confirming with the doctor tomorrow but Im pretty sure it is a shingles rash. Soon as I saw it, I unfortunately asked her to leave ☹️

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 09/01/2019 20:50

The GP should be able to advise on when she will be safe around your baby

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 09/01/2019 20:50

if you haven't had it then I would be very wary, since there won't be any antibodies for you to pass to the baby

ds1 and dd had chicken pox and ds2 was about 8months old, dd had it first and you could not put a finger on her without touching a pox!! Ds1 wasn't too bad, and ds2 only had a couple and the HV said he was probably still covered from my immunity being bf

I did think that might be stretching it a bit, but still, I'd be very concerned about a newborn in your situation.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 09/01/2019 20:51

Poor her! And in such an exposed place too.
Talk to your midwife, but personally I wouldn't have let my mum near, because she's such a tactile person it would have hurt her worse not to be able to cuddle either the baby or me (or she would have done it by accident). However if it was my dad or my MIL I probably would have been ok with it as I know they would hold off and just look.

MumW · 09/01/2019 20:51

My 5 year old niece was diagnosed with shingles the day DD was born. All advice was to keep her away, you can catch chicken pox from shingles and it can cause serious problems for a newborn.

Speak to your midwife and I'm sure you'll get the same advice. However excited you DM is, surely she won't want to cause any harm to her grandchild.

Scroll down to dos and don'ts...
www.nhs.uk/conditions/chickenpox/

MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours · 09/01/2019 20:52

she should be able to get antivirals if it's only just appeared...I think they recommend asap, but within 7days for the antivirals to work, after that you may as well just ride it out.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 09/01/2019 20:52

It may not effect her too much but she still carries the same virus as someone laid low by it. For the sake of 3 weeks don't risk it!

frazzledasarock · 09/01/2019 20:53

I’m pretty sure you can’t catch chickenpox from shingles.

Call your doctors surgery ask for advice.

Then stick to it.

I would not risk my newborns life for the sake of a week or two.

Readytogogogo · 09/01/2019 20:54

YANBU in the least. Your DM needs to understand that the health of your newborn is the main priority.

MumW · 09/01/2019 20:55

Just noticed that you've not had chicken pox so you are at risk and baby doesn't have any natural immunity from you either.
It's just not worth the risk. I wouldn't have anyone ill in the house, full stop.

pinkunicorn20 · 09/01/2019 20:55

Just to echo what pp have said, for her to stay away until the blisters have healed. Anti viral medicine will only be effective if taken within the first 72 hours of the rash appearing so hopefully that is the case.
I really feel for both you what unfortunate timing:(

Original poster
FlumpyMummy · 09/01/2019 20:56

Frazzled - you can catch the chickenpox from shingles if you haven't had it.

You can't catch shingles from shingles.

I know all this because DFIL had shingles while I was early stages of pregnancy and this is what the doctor told me.

OP posts:
Readytogogogo · 09/01/2019 20:56

Frazzledasarock...you can catch chickenpox from shingles.

Bambamber · 09/01/2019 20:57

You can get chicken pox from shingles.

Both you and your baby would be at risk as you both will have a low immune system. If she gets it confirmed with a Dr I would most certainly avoid just to be on the safe side.

frazzledasarock · 09/01/2019 20:57

Ah ok sorry.

I’d not expose my newborn to shingles under any circumstances.

Speak to GP about it. Your mum might feel less upset if she hears it’s from a doctor not just you.

MumW · 09/01/2019 20:58

This is what the NHS says on their Shingle page...

Stay away from certain groups of people if you have shingles
You can't spread shingles to others. But people who haven't had chickenpox before could catch chickenpox from you.

This is because shingles is caused by the chickenpox virus.

Try to avoid:

pregnant women who have not had chickenpox before
people with a weakened immune system – like someone having chemotherapy
babies less than 1 month old – unless it's your own baby, as they should be protected from the virus by your immune system

babyworry2018 · 09/01/2019 20:59

I contracted chicken pox from my husbands shingles rash. Unlike chicken pox, it's only contagious if you actually touch the rash- his was on his torso so he was fine to work but because we shared a bed without realising what the rash was I caught it.

I'd definitely speak to someone- it's possible if she had a dressing in it she would be ok to meet the baby but not hold him or her? But I wouldn't take chicken pox lightly.

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