To delay DM meeting the newborn?

[FlumpyMummy]

DM has the shingles, a very small blistered rash on her forehead which appeared today.

Trouble is - I am expecting DC anytime now! DM is chomping at the bit for love and cuddles with the newborn but I'm going to have to not let her aren't I? She will be devastated.

I have never had the chickenpox so am also at risk of catching it from her.

She says she will take anti-viral tablets and keep the rash covered but I'm still uncomfortable with her being in close proximity to my baby until the rash scabs over.

AIBU?

Do not let her near you nor the baby until she's better. It isn't worth the risk to your baby.

I’d definitely talk to a pharmacist or doctor for their advice.

When DC1 was born we had friends visit and it wasn’t until the day after that one realised they had shingles. Maybe because I’d had chicken pox DC would have been immune but either way we were all ok. Although we may have been the exception not the rule.

Sorry to hear you are going through this. The same thing happened to me when I had my first. In the end baby was about 1 week old before she met him. The rash needs to be dry before meeting your lo to be safe. It’s such a shame but you need to put yourself and baby first.

You absolutely can get chickenpox from a shingles rash. 100%. It's the same virus. But this only happens IF you have not had chickenpox before.

Agree that your mum shouldn't see the baby until later. Your provider will be able to tell you exactly when that would be.

Your mum should also see her provider about whether or not she should be referred to ophthalmology. Shingles activates along nerves, and shingles on the face, especially near the eyes, can lead to shingles on the optic nerve. This can cause blindness.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/shingles/

NHS says if you have shingles avoid newborns under a month old. So yes, your mum needs to stay away.

Thank you all for replying and making me feel I would not be unreasonable. It is so sad! What bad timing!

You say baby is due "anytime now" hopefully they will get wind and stay put for a couple if weeks!

Honestly I know your dm is excited but it is unreasonable to expect you to risk your health and that of your baby chickenpocks is very serious in pregnancy and you don't want your your brand new little one to start of life horribly itchy and unwell and that's assuming nothing more serious goes wrong. Have a chat with your midwife/hv/gp but being cautious probably wouldn't be the worst thing

If it helps mum couldn't meet my DS straight away as she was ill (and we have always been really close)

The delay had no impact at all even though mum was sad at the time. They adore each other now

Do not let her near the baby till she’s better. My grandma had shingles, I was assured although she was visiting she wouldn’t touch my son/ he’d be fine as long as he didn’t touch rash- bollocks. He didn’t go anywhere near her and he came out in chickennpox 10 days later. He was 2 thank god. And recovered well (although has a few scars) But I wish I’d been more careful and not believed the ‘finenif you don’t touch’ nonsense

I would not chance it either. Delay her meeting newborn until she is well, she should understand it's best for you and baby. Plus she has plenty of time for kisses and cuddles so a little wait in the scheme of things is nothing compared to if you or baby catch it and then baby could end up in hospital. I would make her wait

Nope. No no no no no no no.

Take care of baby but also yourself. My friend’s otherwise perfectly healthy partner died from chickenpox he caught from a visiting child. He had never had it as a child. He was 39.

Oh poor her, what a shame, I'd be totally gutted if it was me

But she absolutely mustn't come near you or the baby until she's better.

She'd feel far, far worse if she passed it onto the baby.

Very sad - but FFS get a qualified medical opinion on this.

Please do not rely on the 'wisdom' of MN.

DM has been to the doctor and they confirmed it is shingles.

She was advised to stay clear until the rash dries up and this should take 5-7 days.

From the posts on here - I got impression it was weeks so I am waiting for a call from my doctor for second opinion.

Thanks for your support

With my DM it was also that she felt too unwell to travel and had some pretty nasty nerve pain.

My DT's caught chicken pox at 5 weeks from their older brothers however I was breastfeeding and had previously had both chicken pox and shingles and they weren't that bad.
However as a PP mentioned getting chicken pox as an adult can be really debilitating my Dsis got it aged 21and was really poorly as was her then BF who caught it from her.
You really do not want to be ill with a newborn.
I know its upsetting all round but it is really not worth taking any chances.

She should stay away from you too, op, if you are pregnant and never had chickenpox.

The NHS website says:

*Stay away from certain groups of people if you have shingles

You can't spread shingles to others. But people who haven't had chickenpox before could catch chickenpox from you. This is because shingles is caused by the chickenpox virus.

Try to avoid:
pregnant women who have not had chickenpox before
babies less than 1 month old – unless it's your own baby, as they should be protected from the virus by your immune system*

Stay off work or school if the rash is still oozing fluid (weeping) and can't be covered – or until the rash has dried out.
You're only infectious to others while the rash oozes fluid.*

Frustraing for your MIL, but she must stay away until she's better.

You should stay away from her too sorry. I had chicken pox at 30, it was one of the worst illnesses I've even had. I ended up in A and E unable to stand or sit due to the muscle pain. I won't sugar coat it, the spots when they arrived were EVERYWHERE. I couldn't sleep for 3 days, had to put ice packs on my fanny for relief. The last thing I would have wanted to do is give birth in that state!