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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to send DP round?

41 replies

ExHHouseHelp · 09/01/2019 19:18

I’ve just sold a bed frame on a local selling page. We had to buy a bed frame as a stop gap when the new one we ordered was suddenly out of stock and used it for a few months. The man came to collect it today and took it away to assemble it. I’ve since had a message saying it’s not a king size as I said it was. Our mattress is a king size and we ordered a king size bed. He sent me photos of the bed assembled and it does seem to be a double. I asked my partner and he said ‘well the mattress DID overhang a bit either side’! Shock I had never even noticed but it looks like the shop sent us the wrong bed months ago and we’ve been using it with the wrong mattress!

I apologised profusely, offered to refund the money etc but he’s getting very aggressive by message, telling me he wants my partner there now to dismantle it at his house. He keeps messaging to ask how long he’ll be, how angry he is that i’ve wasted his time and that I clearly knew it was a double when I sold it to him. He is insisting my partner is there ‘within the next couple of hours’. Shock

I have been extremely apologetic but i’m a bit shakey now as he knows where we live and I hate confrontation.

AIBU not to send him round?

OP posts:
Beeziekn33ze · 09/01/2019 19:22

Can DP go round with a couple of burly mates?

Returnofthesmileybar · 09/01/2019 19:23

Well it's not really your choice is it? It's up to your oh surely? But I don't blame the man one bit, how annoying, that's one stupid mistake, I'd be beyond pissed off myself

Imalittleelf · 09/01/2019 19:27

Offer to send him a refund via bank transfer and he can keep the bed frame providing it's not loads of money l?

LEMtheoriginal · 09/01/2019 19:28

Fuck that - he sounds derranged. Please don't send your dp tgere

Original poster
ExHHouseHelp · 09/01/2019 19:32

I offered to send the money by bank transfer and he said he didn’t care about the money and just wants him round there. Things have now moved on. He sent me his bank details after I told him my partner couldn’t go round (and apologised again for my mistake, which yes I agree is bloody stupid-I can’t believe it myself!). I paid him the money and next thing we hear lots of clanging and crashing outside and he’s there, dumping the broken pieces of the bed frame on the drive! Shock

OP posts:
Biancadelriosback · 09/01/2019 19:39

His reaction is unnecessary! And aggressive! Let him crack on, take a pic through the window and keep and eye on the situation. If it escalates then call the police.
I can't believe you didn't realise your mattress was overhanging however...did you never make the bed??

MyKingdomForBrie · 09/01/2019 19:42

He sounds a bit nuts but I can understand him wanting you to come and take it away and I think you should have to be honest, he's gone all the way to yours, collected it, unloaded it, built it, put a mattress on it.. I'd be so bloody annoyed!!

BookwormMe2 · 09/01/2019 19:43

Putting together a bed frame presumably without instructions and then finding out it's the wrong size would annoy the hell out of me too! But good you've avoided direct confrontation.

Bluntness100 · 09/01/2019 19:45

I think that would annoy the shit out of most people. Buying a bed, collecting it, assembling it, to find out it's the wrong size and having to dismantle it and take it back.

EwItsAHooman · 09/01/2019 19:48

Annoyed or not, his reaction is ridiculous and over the top. He could have accepted the refund, had a grumble, then sold it on.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 09/01/2019 19:49

So now it’s sitting on your driveway broken and worthless? Wow, that was an expensive mistake.

Original poster
ExHHouseHelp · 09/01/2019 19:49

Of course, so annoying! I would be annoyed too! I really apologised and offered straight away to give him the money back. I never asked for the bed back but was worried to send my partner round to help because of the aggressive messages. By his behaviour since, I think I was right to avoid the confrontation!

OP posts:
TerriTummyTowels · 09/01/2019 19:54

What's your partner got to do with anything? If anything he should be asking you to go round since you sold it to him.

Consolidatedyourloins · 09/01/2019 20:10

I think you should have offered extra money for the inconvenience. I can understand why he's annoyed.

It sounds like he doesn't want to be aggressive to a woman so wants your DH there.

I can understand why you didn't want to 'send' DH but can you not see that the man assembled a worthless bed frame and has to disassemble and dispose of it?

Send him £20 as an apology.

9ofpentangles · 09/01/2019 20:14

I can understand his annoyance initislly but you apologised several times snd gave him the money back. He sounds nuts. There's no way I'd go round

TrueFriendsStabYouInTheFront · 09/01/2019 20:15

Fuck sending him extra as an apology!! "Sorry you're a deranged prick, here have £20. Cheers for vandalising a perfectly good bed" If he hadn't have been such an aggressive dick, then I'm sure you'd have been happy for your oh to help him take it down.

The fact that he's smashed it to bits... well. Fucking nut job springs to mind! Yeah granted it's annoying but god, people make mistakes!

Wotev · 09/01/2019 20:17

How could you not have noticed it was a double????

Original poster
ExHHouseHelp · 09/01/2019 20:21

I know, I know! It sounds ridiculous now, but as we’d ordered a double, we just put it together on moving in day (in-laws did it actually for us so we weren’t even there) and slept in it! We did have to keep slinging the mattress over but I just thought it was because it wasn’t the most expensive and well-made bed frame! Blush As I say, stupid now, but it’s what happened.

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 09/01/2019 20:26

The guy clearly has issues. He could have given you back the frame or sold it himself to get money but instead he's had a temper tantrum, broken it and dumped it back at yours? What a wanker!

CalishataFolkart · 09/01/2019 20:32

If you refunded him before he smashed it up, doesn’t that mean he has destroyed your property? Sod sending him more money, call the police! (I’m kidding but do keep an eye out. Yes it must have been annoying but he can’t go round breaking the law because he’s been inconvenienced).

Imalittleelf · 09/01/2019 20:36

He is an idiot any one with sense would have sold it on after getting the refund thus making themselves money.... why dump a broken bed wasting your time.... stupid boy

I hope you are not too out of pocket op. We all make mistakes and you Owned up and tried to put things right

Hoopaloop · 09/01/2019 21:12

Fuck sending him more money. He sounds like a loon.

EwItsAHooman · 09/01/2019 21:58

Send him £20 as an apology

Yes, OP, send him more money. And also a handwritten apology in your own blood written on the back of a £50 note just to be sure Hmm

Please don't send him any money unless it's £20 in 2p pieces along with a hammer and a note instructing him to use it to pound them up his arse.

He's a dick. He got a refund, he got an apology, and he still threw his toys and bedframe out of the pram.

BIgBagofJelly · 09/01/2019 22:03

I'd definitely refund it and apologise (which you've already done) but no more. It was a mistake, it happens when you buy off selling sites.

Consolidatedyourloins · 09/01/2019 22:46

Has anyone actually assembled a bed frame? It's a laborious process and he did it for fuck all, so yes he deserves a goodwill gesture!

I would have been fuming too.

And he can't be that aggressive, he didn't even call OP, he just texted. OP doesn't even say he swore.

This was a monumental fuck up and waste of his time.

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