Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell friends I don’t want to keep my bridesmaid dresses forever?

39 replies

BasinHaircut · 09/01/2019 07:05

I’m in the middle of a massive clear out, and due to being fed up at the clutter I’m being fairly ruthless.

I currently have 3 bridesmaid dresses hanging in my wardrobe, one from my sister’s wedding 4 years ago and another 2 from just last year.

Basically I don’t want them any more. My plan is to ask the relevant brides if they want them back, maybe they want one as a keepsake/memory, or maybe they could collect back and sell them all.

My sister will say just get rid as she is v practical, one friend wil not be offended at all, but the other I think probably expects me to want to treasure it forever because it was what I wore on her special day etc etc.

I don’t want to just get rid and not say anything because knowing my luck she will then ask to see it one day and I’d have to fess up to just getting rid, so feel like I need to tell her I don’t want it and ask her what she wants me to do with it.

She only got married last summer so it feels a bit soon but I don’t have space for something I’ll never use again and want it gone.

If it were you would you be offended?

OP posts:
Pachyderm1 · 09/01/2019 07:09

God, no. I doubt any of my bridesmaids still have their dresses and I certainly wouldn’t expect them to!

Did she pay for it? If so then perhaps you should run the idea past her as a courtesy. Maybe say something like ‘I was planning to donate my dress so someone else can wear it for something special and happy blah blah blah’ and check if she’s ok with it.

If you paid for it I think you should just do whatever you like with it!

RayRayBidet · 09/01/2019 07:11

I paid for my bridesmaids dresses (one adult one child) and as far as I was concerned they could do whatever they wanted with them. Didn't mind at all.

NotANotMan · 09/01/2019 07:13

The dresses are yours. They were gifts. I gave both of mine away to friends who they suited much better and who loved them. No guilt!

deptfordgirl · 09/01/2019 07:16

Do what you want with them. I sold both mine on eBay. Don't tell the brides though and make a big thing about it, it seems a bit rude to tell them you don't want them. I'm sure they're aware you'll get rid of them in some way, you're not going to have much use for a bridesmaid dress in everyday life.

TinselTimes · 09/01/2019 07:18

I’d talk to them, just to avoid any future rows/upset.

But put it nicely - so “such a beautiful dress, and so many happy memories of your big day, but I know I won’t have anything else suitable to wear it to so want to pass it on to make somebody else happy” blah blah rather than “it’s ugly and taking up space”.

Having said that I wouldn’t be offended at all.

KC225 · 09/01/2019 07:19

I think its a nice gesture to ask the brides of they want them. Four bridesmaids would take up a lot of room.

Applesandpears23 · 09/01/2019 07:24

When I was a bridesmaid the bride said she would like the dress back if I ever wanted to get rid of it.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 09/01/2019 07:28

Ooh, this one has split opinions already! I don't give a toss what any of my bridesmaids do/did with their dresses - I have no idea if they still have them four years on - but I'd think it was a bit weird and a bit rude if one of them made a point of telling me she was getting rid of it - and I certainly wouldn't want it back! What on earth would I do with it?! At least it fits them, I'd have to keep it as a purely decorative object...

FinallyHere · 09/01/2019 07:31

How close are you to the bride who might hate the idea of getting rid of it? There are people around who will make a soft furnishing, or even cuddly toy or doll with outfit using 'heirloom fabric. If you/she cared enough, how about one of those?

FinallyHere · 09/01/2019 07:31

One of those... and give it to the bride, natch.

DuggeesWooOOooggle · 09/01/2019 07:33

I got married 7 years ago and paid for all 3 bridesmaids dresses. I don't think any of them wore them again although we chose a style together that they could wear again if they wanted. I'm not bothered in the slightest what they did with them and haven't asked. I wouldn't want them to feel awkward for not having worn them again. I hope they have sold on and they have got something out of it and the dresses are now being enjoyed.

Returnofthesmileybar · 09/01/2019 07:38

Not a bit offended. My bridesmaids gave me mine back and I gave them mine back. We could all have kept them if we wanted to, like you, we did keep them for about year and thought this is mad, we realistically will never wear them again so gave them back so they could be passed on in pairs. It was discussed just sort of mentioned (different groups) and everyone was fine with it

EvaHarknessRose · 09/01/2019 07:43

I’d get rid of two and roll the other one up and put it in the loft just in case. But it will never come up, I mean she would have to demand to see it while at your house which would be odd. And you have the photos to remember.

dulcefarniente · 09/01/2019 07:43

I'd make a couple of cushions out of the fabric and give one to the bride and keep one. I had a friend who framed the fabric in the bridesmaids dress along with a photo of the wedding for the bride.

MudCity · 09/01/2019 07:44

Charity shop or sell on eBay. Job done.

Deadbudgie · 09/01/2019 07:46

Until this thread never even gave it a second thought whether my bridesmaids still had their dresses. Straight to charity shop

Shoxfordian · 09/01/2019 07:47

I like the cushions idea. If I was even slightly capable of doing that then I would consider it. Really though, just get rid of them op, why do you even need to tell the bride?

Baileyscheesecake · 09/01/2019 07:51

Bridesmaid dresses make great dressing up clothes for children. When I was little I used to spend hours in mine and my sister's bridesmaid dresses pretending I was a princess! (the dresses were small though as we were both bridesmaids at a young age to our much older brothers). Then when my daughter was little she had a dressing up box which had bridesmaid dresses in and it provided hours of enjoyment and helps develop imagination. Offer your bridesmaid dress to your friend to have back and suggest to her she could have it altered in the future into a dressing up outfit for any daughters she may have in the future.

Original poster
BasinHaircut · 09/01/2019 07:52

Thanks all.

Now I’m not sure whether to tell them or not!

It doesn’t seem like any of you would want to know what your bridesmaids did with thier dresses, and some think it’s rude to ask if they want it back/say I don’t want it.

I’m definitely not getting any cushions made. I hate decorative cushions and couldn’t make them myself. Nice idea for someone more crafty though.

OP posts:
Original poster
BasinHaircut · 09/01/2019 07:54

Baileys also a nice idea but I’m 5ft 10 so not ideal dressing up size Grin

OP posts:
labazsisgoingmad · 09/01/2019 07:58

must be a charity that could use them i know there is a charity that makes gowns for still borns from wedding dresses i would have thought bridesmaids dresses could be used for similar projects?

Original poster
BasinHaircut · 09/01/2019 07:59

labazs ohh that’s a good idea. Will look into it.

OP posts:
Zippetydoodahzippetyay · 09/01/2019 09:12

I wouldn’t be the least bit offended. I did choose dresses that I thought might be able to be re-worn if taken up from long to knee length and I also paid for them myself, but I wouldn’t want them back and I would not care at all if the girls sold them, donated them or whatever else.

RoxytheRexy · 09/01/2019 09:12

I had 2 bridesmaids dresses hanging up and put them both on eBay.

Do you have an ‘Oxfam Bridal’ type charity shop in you area? They often take all wedding related stuff as opposed to just wedding dresses

2isabella2 · 09/01/2019 10:19

I have no idea what my bridesmaids have done with their dresses and really don't mind (and wouldn't ask!). I've been an adult bridesmaid five times and none have ever asked me either (though I still have them all and wear two of them). I'd just give them to a charity shop if I were you!

Swipe left for the next trending thread