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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bloody parking wars!

77 replies

Damnivy · 08/01/2019 18:29

Another parking one guys! So for background, i live in a very busy road. There are not nearly enough spaces for the amount of cars. Mostly down to alot of driveways and quite a few dissabillity bays. 3 Very close to me. (Just so that you know, I have no issues with people having dissabillity bays). I don't have a drive. And have never had any issues with any neighbour's.

I don't expect to be able to park in front of my house all the time. And often can't. Everyone tries to be thoughtful with parking. Except one! Across the road, a neighbour with a dissabillity bay is such a pain. When his wife leaves for work, he pulls out of the bay and parks on the street. Often in front of my house as I'm on the school run at the time, until his wife gets home, she bibs, he comes and pulls back into disability bay, so she has space to park. Ive ignored this for 3 years.

So ive not long had back surgury, in quite a bit of pain, so parking has been getting to me lately. I don't get my shopping deliverd as have 2 children with severe food allergies and literally need to read everything I buy. Husband's away for work. So get back today with my shopping, neighbour is looking in his boot, parked in front of my house. Nearest space is 6 houses down. Need to carry alot of shopping, still unable to lift much, and have two young children. I stop and explain situation to neighbour, ask if he can please park in his bay so that I can unload car. He told me to fuck off. I'm not intimidated. I tell him he is being very selfish, to this he calls me an entitled bitch. Other neighbour hears this and tells me I can park over her drive while I unload my car. Very grateful.
This evening ive just had the police knock my door. I explained all to the police, they completly took my neighbours side and told me I sound very anti disability!!! . Basically made me feel like I was being very childish, arguing over parking. I told them I didn't raise my voice, use any bad language, and was polite until I was called names. They told me my neighbour now feels to scared to leave his house. SERIOUSLY!!! I can't belive it. They told me if I have to park 6 houses away then I need to suck it up.

Now I'm confused. Who was being unreasonable? Police think it's me. I feel like asking one time, when he has a perfectly good space to park in isn't that bad. Is it?

OP posts:

ozymandiusking · 08/01/2019 22:48

Write to the Chief Constable and complain about the the Police officers who came out to see you.

CallMeRachel · 08/01/2019 22:55

He can park it where he likes. Or are you wrongly saying that disabled people can only ever park in disabled spaces?

Obviously as the council and tax payers have paid for him to have a special parking bay for his disability yes he absolutely should be using it. The fact he's not tends to infer it may not be as needed as he obviously made out in the first place.

Abusing disability status to gain benefits over others is shitty.

And he's an abusive wanker.

Disability doesn't excuse his behaviour.

I agree actually with pp who suggested putting in a complaint against the police who handled this with bias and were abrupt.
They should have listened to your side then gone back to give him. Flea in his ear regarding his shouting and swearing.

AuchAyeTheNo · 08/01/2019 22:55

No Elvis, I am not. However pretty sure it is frowned upon not to be using your designated disabled bay at home if its available. Thats what it’s meant for

SillySallySingsSongs · 08/01/2019 23:07

Obviously as the council and tax payers have paid for him to have a special parking bay for his disability yes he absolutely should be using it.

Some councils you pay for it yourself. If not then it can be used for anyone with a disability.

There is quite a lengthy process to go through. It isn't just a case of asking for one and getting it.

The fact he's not tends to infer it may not be as needed as he obviously made out in the first place.

Him moving his car ond space doesn't really indicate he doesn't need it.

His behaviour is awful. It doesn't mean however he isn't disabled.

ChesterGreySideboard · 08/01/2019 23:09

Is this West Yorkshire police by any chance?
They seem to have a habit of turning up for anyone crying about discrimination.

Now discrimination is very real and problematic but it sounds like this guy is playing it up.

On what grounds did he call the police? That you asked him to move? That he swore at you?

Yulebealrite · 08/01/2019 23:13

I think maybe the police officer was just covering himself to be seen to be reacting properly to disability discrimination. He may have actually privately also thought the man was an arse but dare not support you for fear of being in trouble.
Or the policeman himself is an arse too.

Ninjafox · 08/01/2019 23:19

Can you get CCTV? Record a few mornings of his antics and you'll at least have evidence especially if he starts swearing at you again.

TerriTummyTowels · 08/01/2019 23:29

I'd take a lot of photographic evidence of how little the disability bay was being used and try to get the bay removed given the parking limitations in the street. If you could get rid of his bay that would teach him a lesson or at least raise his blood pressure if they looked into removing it lol

NicolaStart · 08/01/2019 23:33

Greatorb I just googled it. Apparently if they aren’t

In Scotland disabled bays are enforceable and there is a fine for parking in kne without a BB.

elvis86 · 08/01/2019 23:34

"I'd take a lot of photographic evidence of how little the disability bay was being used and try to get the bay removed given the parking limitations in the street. If you could get rid of his bay that would teach him a lesson or at least raise his blood pressure if they looked into removing it lol"

Great idea! 😂😂😂

Eliza9917 · 08/01/2019 23:34

@SillySallySingsSongs Tough shit unless they could prove it.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 08/01/2019 23:42

I’m confused. Why doesn’t he just pull into the space his wife has vacated? I mean literally as soon as she pulls out of it he can pull into it and save the space for her. I don’t get why he pulls into the space outside your house.

justilou1 · 08/01/2019 23:47

I’d be getting the neighbour to back you up about making a vexatious complaint about you, OP. He’s playing unnecessary victim. What a knob!!!

HannahnotAgnes · 09/01/2019 00:12

Agree with the others, he's a dick. I'd definitely complain about the police officers attitude to you & put in a counter complaint about how aggressive he was to you (especially as you have a witness to back up your claim).

Cuttingthegrass · 09/01/2019 06:47

I think you need photographic evidence of his selfishness. Play the longer game OP. what a nasty person

brokenhead · 09/01/2019 06:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

brokenhead · 09/01/2019 07:00

Get an electric car and then a charging bay

Sonneedshelp · 09/01/2019 07:05

He's a knob with to much time on his hands but technically he's able to do it! Bloody petty though!

Are they ever both out at the same time? I'd nab the space then and never move!!

Consolidatedyourloins · 09/01/2019 07:08

The police were over within minutes when I called them about someone being aggressive.

OP, in any future interactions, I would get your mobile out and film him.

Also, write a letter to police complaining about him. You should not be made to feel intimidated for stating a simple request.

Consolidatedyourloins · 09/01/2019 07:12

And I'd get a friend to park in his bay at a time that would annoy him the most (but be nearby).

My mum has a bb and normally I would not advocate this behaviour but he is not saving a space for himself, he is saving it for his able bodied wife.

MetalMidget · 09/01/2019 07:36

If you can afford it and have the space, apply for a drop kerb in front of your house and get your front garden turned into a driveway. It's the only way to solve the hassle, plus should lower your car insurance!

Consolidatedyourloins · 09/01/2019 07:42

That's a good idea @MetalMidget, although OP says there are already alot of driveways so council may say no. It might be expensive (£1k +) but a good investment if OP owns her home.

Maybe OP could submit supporting evidence like a letter from her doctor, footage showing what neighbour is doing, etc.

swingofthings · 09/01/2019 08:06

The reality is that he is clearly one of those people who thinks that being disabled entitles him not only to disability benefits but to everything that makes his and family life easier regardless of the impact on others.

You can't change him and anything you do to annoy him is only going to be temporary so not as annoying to him as his behaviour is to you.

I think you are better à ceptong this however annoying it is. After all you have no guarantee that another car would park there after you drop off your kids to school rather his.

Maybe one day he might need your help for something and you'll be able to look at him in the eye, say sorry can't do, and tell him that if he comes again you'll call the police for harassment!

Original poster

Damnivy · 09/01/2019 08:45

ILoveMaxiBondi maybe I didn't explain it too well. As they do this often, and I'm the nearest to them with no driveway and no dissabillity bay, so as his wife is nearly always there, then they continuouly swap vehicles, so as they are already outside my house, they always swap cars back there. They sometimes go out in her car at the weekend, so I can park there but this isn't always the case, and another car might be parked there instead. But guarenttee Monday morning I get home and he's pulled up there, waiting for his wife!

Also to posters saying about applying for a drop kerb. We have tried and been rejected 3 times. We have a driveway one side and a different neighbour has a dissabillity bay the other side, and driveway and bay opposite, so council say it's inconvenient!

OP posts:

Eliza9917 · 09/01/2019 09:47

Could you film what he's doing and report him to whoever issues blue badges/disabled bays? And the DVLA?

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