being a full time working mum: any tips?

[wedding2009]

I started working full time in Aug last year and to say its taken a bit of time to settle in to a routine is an understatement. It really doesn't help that my husband works offshore and dips in and out of family life (not his fault I know). Does anyone have any tips :)

Are your kids NT, OP? (No special needs, etc?) Two hours to get your kids up and out is a lot. My older two (of three) are 10 and 7 and we are all out in 45 mins. My routine is similar to noworklifebalance What is it in the morning that you're struggling with? Are the kids struggling to get up, or is it packing bags, or getting them to eat breakfast that's the issue? You'll get better advice if you're more specific!

Cleaner who does the laundry.... it’s the best investment you can make!

my morning routine goes like this
6.30- Up, cuppa, shower, hair and make up
7.15- kids up, everyone breakfast
7.45- kids get dressed, washed, make beds and brush teeth (I usually walk the dog round the block)
8.10 back from walk, kids get a 15 mins for tv or whatever, I feed the dog, load the dishwasher, put on washing etc
8.25- we leave the house

Surely the 15 and 10 year olds get themselves ready? Mine are 13 and 8. They usually wake up at the same time as me, around 7, and we are all ready to leave the house by 7.45. They know the routine, get up, get dressed, get breakfast, get out the door.

They have lunches at school so I don’t have to do packed meals. I let my household standards slide in the week, but both of them know they have to help - they have to keep their own rooms tidy, beds made etc. They are both learning to do the dishes, will empty dishwashers etc. They look after their own school bags and homework, and know what they need for each day, although I will remind them if needed.

If yours aren’t helping out, get them learning to. They are all old enough that unless there are unmentioned additional needs that they should be able to help, and it will help them in the long run too.

Mine are quite little still, 4 and 5, but we have had the same routine since the littlest started to complain about clothes (about 2 years). We have about 45 mins from waking to getting out of the house if I plan to make my bus to work,

When my OH is away my routine is,

All up and dressed, kids dress themselves (clothes picked the night before so no arguing). V. quick shower and dress. Then I get out breakfast for the kids and make myself a cup of tea.

Kids eat b'fast while I sort the car (plugged in, scrapped, cleared of snow etc), collect the post, feed the dogs and put them out for the day. Get dinner out of the freezer, if needed.

Drink tea and make myself a packed breakfast, sort my work bag and pop my lunch in (yesterdays leftovers) while the kids play (or more likely bicker and whining).

Brush teeth (mine and kids), wash faces, clear the table, make my 'bus' tea (in a thermos as I've a long commute).

Drop kids at nursery and school and drive to the bus stop to take the bus to work.

Dump bags for dinner. Prep five large Ikea sandwich bags, one for each day of the week, on Sunday teatime. Seal and lay flat in the freezer one on top of the other. Chilli in one, a stew, maybe some chicken breasts with bbq sauce ingredients in one etc. Each morning take one out of the freezer and put it on low in the slow cooker.

Buy in easy quick rice/noodles/smash to make with it.

Ironing - just do shirts. That's it. Everything else can be hung up and work as is.

Get them to do their own beds (stripping and remaking I mean) once a fortnight. Give them each a quick morning chore before tv. One wipes down kitchen surfaces, one goes round and empties any bins, one wipes down surfaces in living room etc, set table for dinner.

Click and collect or online food shops. No packed lunches.

5 yr old tends to pull the quilts straight in the evening, no idea why he just really likes that job, so has taken it upon himself.

I went back full time in August too and we’ve employed a cleaner since November. We can’t really afford it but are prioritising it to spend more time together on weekends and also not want to kill each other quite so much when the house is a shit tip. It’s amazing.

Ours come on a Thursday which I think is good as one work night come home from work stress to a tidy house and then everything is basically presentable for the weekend when more likely to have guests.

Batch cooking / slow cooker help but I find the organisation time hard so I combine with cooking an evening meal and then freezing a bunch. I do try and have some easy things like vege burgers around that you can just add veg to for evenings when we cba.

I have a list of admin on my phone and try and complete one thing at least each day.

I also have about 27 alarms a day that remind me to do things - one night go off many times daily until I actually do it but I know I have that reminder (this night not work for everyone but really changed my life).

A phone that saves all your passwords so when your signing in to something you don’t spend an age trying to remember stuff.

Banking app.

Online food shopping. I pay £5 to cover all deliveries and do a shop ideally weekly (has to be at least £40 but there’s always stuff we need). I try never to go in an actual supermarket any more.

Amazon free delivery - I know it’s not great morally but for me it means you can order that random kids birthday present on the commute.

My partners not away so it’s not the same situation but None the less I find it pretty stressful at times. I used to work 4 days and I’m trying very hard with 5 not to work over time as they have me enough.

Getting a Cleaner saved my life!

So it's not that it takes the kids two hours to get up and out; more that you do other things in the morning. Honestly I would make a real effort to shower/hair etc a little faster; have the kids load the dishwasher and feed the dog. Do you do laundry every day? I'd start doing it at night. Kids don't need 15 minutes in the morning to be on screens.

Lots of really helpful advice there folks, thanks so much. and its good to know Im not on my own with the work/mummy stuff

I went full time last year, primarily to earn more money so do not have the cash for a cleaner!
DH is self employed so does quite a bit of the cleaning, washing etc.
I plan the meals and shop Friday nights to stop the weekends being interrupted by a food shop. I use a slow cooker and batch cook. Also have lunch time access to a fab market for fresh fruit and veg etc.
Luckily I have a short commute (20 mins bus and walk). DTs (11) walk to school and home by themselves, they also do their own packed lunches. I only need 10 mins to get ready in the morning so we have quite a leisurely time.
So far, so good. Bloody knackered though!

I see lots of posters have suggested a cleaner... if this is not a finically viable option I recommend looking at The Organsied Mum Method. It’s a really great cleaning routine for managing household tasks on small time scales. I found her routines made massive change to my family life.
Also echo other posters who suggest getting packed lunches, your and kids ready the night before as well as clothes and bags etc.
I read on another thread that someone didn’t let their kids come downstairs until they were dressed in uniform. This seems like a good idea if your kids are older.
Making friends with your SC or get an instant pot (honestly use my IP every day) it saves soooo much time and make so many different meals all ready for you coming home.
Freezing portion of meal ahead of time for busy week nights also a big boost.

As others have said, get a cleaner. Get some of the laundry done during the week. Get tomorrows’ outfit ready and hanging up outside the wardrobe door so you don’t have to choose your clothes in the morning. Do the kids sports bags on a Sunday. Don’t drink alcohol during the week. That’s what works for me and I’ve done it for many years.

For me it wouldn’t work to leave all the washing to the weekend. One load a day needs to be done otherwise it all builds up. We work in city jobs and travel so a cleaner / housekeeper who does laundry and ironing is a must.
I do all the kids school admin and everything must be ready the night before, no exceptions. All school stuff is dealt with immediately. All important dates entered into our shared google calendar.

my routine is like that:

up at 6am. Switch on washing machine before anything else.
Put some clothes on, make coffee. Empty the dishwasher whilst coffee cools down. DH takes dogs out usually.
Put breakfast on table for everybody.
Kids start to trickle downstairs, and join breakfast table with their dad.
I hoover downstairs and clean one room of the house (in the Organised Mum style).

7am: wake up any child that is still sleeping.
Put laundry to dry.

if I go to office: have a 2mn shower, put work clothes on, grab bag and go by 7:30. If I work from home, put another load of laundry on, clean another room whilst shouting reminding the kids to get ready, Eldest leave on their own, walk the youngest to school, leaving at 8:30.

Uniforms and bags all ready the night before.
Online food shop always.
No chores at the weekend, ever.
Laundry ironed and folded in evening in front of tv a couple of times a week.

someone didn’t let their kids come downstairs until they were dressed in uniform.
wouldn't work with my youngest, they only put their uniform after eating and brushing teeth! Safer

I second the poster(s) who said:

• never go back upstairs once down;
• add reminders to phone go everything from charity bake sale to deadlines for forms
• online food shopping

Also addition tips

• family shaired calendar either paper or online e.g google calendar for keys dates to be added and seen by all
• washing machine on delay timer so it is finished washing for when you wake or return home so it can be put straight out to dry

Low standards.
It's the only way to stay sane.

I don't think you need low standards, you just need to be organised and consistent. A friend was mocking me for always making my bed, but really how long does it take?
Get up, pull duvet up, open windows - come back later, close windows and straighten sheet, fluff pillows, pull duvet back, what's that, 2 minutes max? And it makes the bedroom looks so much more tidy and welcoming in the evening.

Never put something in a place where it doesn't belong: it takes as long to hang towels or put dirty laundry in basket than throwing it on the floor.

Several laundry baskets too: at least one white, one colour. Save the faffing!

My DH works offshore too and it really impacts our family life. When he’s away everything takes so long on my own, but when he’s home it feels a bit like ‘holiday time’, so I’m more inclined to relax and lower my standards leaving me with a shitstorm to sort out when he’s away.

Make a check list to complete BEFORE your DH goes offshore:

• fuel in car
• wash car
• food shop/meals in freezer
• laundry up to date

I have a cleaner and I’ve also started The Organised Mum method, which frees up weekends. I’ve also started getting my eldest two kids (7 & 10) to help out more. This week, one is in charge of recycling/taking out rubbish and the other is helping out with laundry.

I have 3 DC (15, 12 & 6), the 15yr old gets herself completely sorted as does the 12 yr old with occasional reminding not to forget phone, keys glasses!

So my routine is get up at 7.15, shower, dressed, wake up 6yr old (by now it's 7.30ish) and prep breakfast while he gets dressed (I lay his clothes out to make it quicker), we eat breakfast then brush teeth, I put make up on, say goodbye to older DC who leave at 8.10 then we are ready really but don't need to leave until 8.34 so I tidy up and may put a washing on or empty the dishwasher.

I have found that the key to being quick (for us) is for everyone getting dressed straight away instead of after breakfast as what happens is they take ages eating then time just disappears! All bags are also packed the night before and they don't take packed lunches.

Same as others here:
No screens in the morning.
Stuff ready night before, uniform, bags.
Clean on a Friday night (and washing organised)
Meal plan (this also includes beige Wednesday where we have things with chips as well as batch cooking).
Online food shops.

I also find keeping on top of washing up, taking out rubbish/recycling makes a difference.

Get the kids to all muck in and get through everything quicker, then there is more time for the fun stuff.

Have good supply of wrapping paper and birthday cards. I am ordering half a dozen of cheapish toys at the moment in the sales. When one child receives a birthday party invit, I reply as soon as I have checked the calendar, chose a gift from the pile, wrap up, make child write the card and it's ready.

obviously only work for Primary school age

If low stock, plenty time to order and receive before the next invitations.