To be a bit annoyed and upset that my childless friend is criticising my parenting?

[mylittlefreya]

My 6 month old dd still wakes at night to feed, usually once or twice. She also has the endearing baby habit of occasionally thinking that 2am is a good time to play, and more often that 5am a good time to get up. This is making me quite tired, sometimes a bit low, and some of my friendships have suffered.

Including that with my best friend from school. She came - it's quite a distance - when dd was around 6 weeks old, and though I've not seen her since, have kept in touch though less frequently. In a conversation yesterday, she said that dd shouldn't really be getting up at night now, and that it was time for me to get tough, and make sure it didn't go on any longer.

There are several reasons why I disagree in principle, but mostly I just feel a bit upset that she has come out and said that. Am I being far too sensitive? Or is it reasonable to feel a bit attacked by that?

lol childless friends are fab - just smile sweetly when she says stuff and remember, that if and when she has kids, her time will come!

I think it's very easy for people who don't have children to give advice on parenting and you should ignore any daft statements that don't happen to coincide with your own instincts.

But... she's a friend and concerned about you so she's probably trying to help.

my childless friend said to me once:

"when I have children i will not go out again, ever without them. i wont need to, i've had my fun..my children will be with me and my partner wherever we go, we will never need a break, or time to ourselves"

(subject came up because i was talking about having a night out)

i cant wait until she has a child.

I get this too from a very dear friend, winds me up when she tries to discipline my older children too, but agree with foxinsocks

they just don't know YET

her time will come and then you can sit back and have a good laugh at her.

my bf babysat for me one night as i was going out i told her what to do if dd woke up (newly sleep trained, routine was important for getting her back down) she laughed at me and told me 'oh pink, i know what to do with a crying baby, you know i have a degree in early childhood studies' so i told her to have fun showing dd the degree and fecked off!

childless friends are totally clueless

My 6 month old was still having a night feed. Actually all three of them were.

try to understand that she is trying to help (even though she isn't)

just bide your time and when she has kids herself, you can sit on the sidelines and giggle to yourself at her mistakes

(and incidentally, my 3 year old (today ) has only just stopped waking in the night and ds who is nearly 2 still does.

As an exhausted new mum you have probably lost your way and what are friends for if not to support a friend in her hour of need? The fact that she's advising you from a positon of complete ignorace has probably escaped her completely, but she no doubt means it for the best and thinks she's really helping you.

Chill, enjoy your baby and your expertise. Please don't feel upset about your friend - there's nothing malicious going on.

btw... ds is 11 months and dropping his night feeds all by himself now, he still needs them some nights but sleeps through others. much easier to go with the flow than battle them over it

Childless friends are experts on parenting.

I love watching them flounder on birth of their first...

Ignore her - remember you have already learnt more than she can ever imagine and you're a luuuurrrrrvvveellyy mummy

good job she's no friend of mine. My ds2 still wakes in the night now- and he is nearly 4.

Childless people giving info. pmsl.

Everyone is an expert on other people's kids, just ignore her, as the others say, she probably means well but hasn't really got a clue! . Big hug for you. XX

Oh all childless people know everything about raising children
Take no notice.
One of my friends trills 'silly mummy' to my kids about me
She's just jealous really!

btw, what does pmsl mean tiredemma? I'm new to mn and still trying to suss the lingo out!!

YABU - not unreasonable in itself but the context is that young childless people don't generally understand the context

piss my self laughing.

Smile and nod politely and revel in the fact that when she has kids you can smugly remember all the advice she gave you

laugh carelessly and slightly patronisingly, and say, 'Ah, it's so easy when you don't have any, isn't it! I used to think like you ha ha ha. How is your love life these days?" (cock head sympathetically to one side in manner of smug married)

Thanx, hon, now what does YABU mean??? XX

You are being unreasonable

Thankyou!!!

You're welcome

just patiently sit and wait till she has her own then with a smirk say oh waking in the night tut tut !!!!!!!

It happens to us all but is very bloody annoying

write them all down in a nice little notepad.

Wait for her to become a mother.

Watch for that special day, when you see the bags under her eyes are tripping up unsuspecting passers-by, she has patches of sick on both shoulders and in her hair, poo on the end of her nose and the baby has been crying for so long she's got tinitus. Give her the notepad and tell her you thought she might benefit from a few tips.