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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can you wear white to a wedding if the brides dress is not white?

28 replies

NotUmbongoUnchained · 07/01/2019 14:16

Totally hypothetical situation.
Me and a friend were just musing and we’re wondering what the general consensus would be!

I think yes, she thinks no.

Who is BU?

OP posts:
flamingofridays · 07/01/2019 14:18

I think yes! as long as its not an actual wedding dress, then why not!

sofato5miles · 07/01/2019 14:19

I'd say no

selkiesolstice · 07/01/2019 14:20

I'd say no

Original poster
NotUmbongoUnchained · 07/01/2019 14:20

Oh I should mention this stems from a conversation about a wedding I want to last year where the invite said “please don’t wear red” as the bride was in red. So not totally hypothetical I guess.

OP posts:
LostInShoebiz · 07/01/2019 14:21

Yes, unless by not white you mean ivory, bone, very light grey, etc.

If they’re going for colour or black then I’m sure they won’t bat an eyelid at someone in white.

Fusioluxe · 07/01/2019 14:21

Oooh interesting! I’d say no, err on the side of caution, and don’t wear the colourcthe bride is wearing either!

I did this once ConfusedBlush. Brides dress, BRIGHT RED, was a surprise. I was mortified.

selkiesolstice · 07/01/2019 14:22

You can imagine the caterers and relatives of the groom would assume you were the bride.

Just a minefield. I think a person could talk themself in to thinking it was ok and then feel self-conscious about it on the day.

JennyHolzersGhost · 07/01/2019 14:22

I think it depends on the dress. Something white and bridal looking - no. Something white and patterned or white with a coloured jacket/accessories and not overtly bridal - probably ok.

Fusioluxe · 07/01/2019 14:23

Oh I have just seen your latest post OP! I wish the bride had done that at the wedding I made my faux pas at!

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 07/01/2019 14:25

My DP and I are engaged. My MIL has bought a white hat, white trouser suit and white suit. Head to toe in white.

I'm not sure how I feel about it however my friends and family are furious, I'm interested to see what the answers are.

Original poster
NotUmbongoUnchained · 07/01/2019 14:25

fusio my husband was the one who received the invite and didn’t think to tell me that part until I came home with a red dress Grin
Luckily I still had a few weeks to get another one!

OP posts:
BendingSpoons · 07/01/2019 14:25

It could potentially be worse! I went to a wedding where the bride wore a fairly casual coloured dress. If you were wearing white, others might think you were the most bride like and therefore the bride. (If they were guests who hadn't met the bride.)

MadeleineMaxwell · 07/01/2019 14:26

I think you could, but don't know why you'd bother. I can just hear the sussuration of sotto voce tuts now...

(I once went to a wedding do in jeans - I still bear the mental scars)

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 07/01/2019 14:26

That should say shoes not suit

MyFamilyAndOtherAnimals1 · 07/01/2019 14:28

Oh it's so easy to not wear white, so just don't!

Confusedbeetle · 07/01/2019 14:28

I wouldnt. The person who had a white trouser suit was perfectly in order tho

Original poster
NotUmbongoUnchained · 07/01/2019 14:28

I didn’t even wear white to my own wedding Grin

OP posts:
Lemoneeza · 07/01/2019 14:29

No. So many other colours to choose from.

Walnutwhipster · 07/01/2019 14:30

No, even more so if the bride isn't.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 07/01/2019 14:30

@Confusedbeetle that's what I was thinking, however everyone else has said she's out of order and it's creating a problem.

I think we'll just run away and get married.

Cherries101 · 07/01/2019 14:31

Is it a wedding from someone with a different cultural heritage? In some Indian and Pakistani religious wedding ceremonies brides wear red (or white and red) but white isn’t an appropriate colour for guests to wear as it’s viewed as funereal colour (as are navy and black). However it could be appropriate for a reception provided the bride isn’t wearing white to that.

elephantinstripeysocks · 07/01/2019 14:31

id say no. just no white or block black.

Original poster
NotUmbongoUnchained · 07/01/2019 15:00

What’s wrong with block black??

OP posts:
FlippinNora1 · 07/01/2019 15:14

No to all white. White with a splash of colour is fine so long as it’s not a long lacy dress from the Monsoon bridal range (pointed thinking about someone not on MN who may have attended my own wedding) Grin

Unless you are a baby, a bride or a flower girl I don’t get why anyone would want to wear all white. It’s just too...white!

Block black looks like you are in mourning.

Laiste · 07/01/2019 15:18

I wore white to a wedding once. I had no idea about the white rule and it was ££££££££ wedding in Cyprus by the sea at the hottest time of the year. Pencil knee length skirt and 'gypsy' blouse. Both white. Olive green high strappy sandals. DH wore a white cheese cloth shirt and white chinos. And white flip flops :)

Now i know it was a faux par i often wonder how many were pearl clutching at us.

Mind you, bride was stunning - very slinky white satin floor length sheath dress with a big pool of fabric for a train and a white bouquet. Groom in a black tux. I have no illusions any one mixed us up with the very glam happy couple but i still cringe at us a bit Hmm