To check my dd's phone

[BradleyPooper]

My dd is 14 and pretty sensible and mature for her age. She is on Instagram and messaging someone she met online. Seems to be general teen chat, insta account seems legit for another teen girl (don't they all?)....

Dd is upset that I checked her phone, has asked me to trust her and has changed her passcode. She knows all about grooming, what should not be communicated or sent online and said that she should be allowed to have friends.

Aibu to keep checking her phone or should I let her have privacy?

As a 14 year old i was groomed by a FAMILY friend! My mum and dad never knew (it was through FB) I didn't even realise until i was 19 (and told now DH) what he was/is and thats a pedophile !! When my DD is old enough to have a phone it will be monitored until she is 16 and if she isn't happy about that she can pay for it herself.

Occasionally monitoring phone use is for all sorts of good reasons

1. your child is less likely to be bullied if other kids know their messages might be read
2. you might pick up on your own child being inapropriate
3. you will pick up on grooming behaviours and language your child might not see
4. most children actually like boundaries and this occasional monitoring will help stop creep towards them looking/doing risky behaviours
5. despite the school warnings I'd, imagine most kids still won't think it would happen to them As long as the parent doesn't abuse their position of power in this balance it seems a healthy trade off to me.

Google Breck Beckner

I taught Lewis Daynes A-level politics. When their conversations started, Lewis would have only been 16/17 himself, with Breck 13/14; which might not have raised too many warning signs.

Kids this age are so niave re internet safety

In my experience of teaching VI form for 10 years, actually, they're really not. Parents tend to be very niave about the specifics; and assume their offspring have no additional understanding.

I suspect most kids are more savvy with tech than their parents too. My DD has only had a smartphone since September but knows how to use it better than I know mine.