To build extension? Neighbour thinks so

[namechangenelly12]

Last year DH and I bought our dream house. It's a semi, decent sized and on a lovely street. Neighbours all seem lovely. Not moved in yet as it needed completely renovating which we are on with.

After going back and forth for a while, not being sure we could afford it, talking about how lovely it would be we decided that actually we wanted to build an extension on the back to make the kitchen diner into more of a family room, and give us a utility room as well.

We got our plans drawn up and submitted and went to show the neighbours, we'd told them before but wanted to be decent and show them the plans so we could discuss it if they wanted to.

Basically neighbours are not happy at all, as it will spoil their view from their kitchen window. Their view is basically into our garden, which to be fair won't be there anyway as lots of the trees are old and dead and conifers which we hate so after we'd finished the house we were going to completely redo the garden too (once we've saved up again)

Neighbours are very early 60s and have mentioned before to us that they have considered moving to something smaller.

I feel really awful to be honest as they seem lovely people and were really quite upset by it, saying they would be heartbroken etc, and I hate the thought that I've upset them. So I do feel really bad but at the same time I don't want to not do it. It wouldn't be an option to make it smaller, basically any extension we built in that spot would have the same effect, and we can't build an extension anywhere else.

WIBU to still go ahead and build the extension as we have it planned (assuming we get permission), even though I know they would be upset by it?

Your house do what you want. They wont even be there in 15yrs when you will be 👌

We explained our plans to our extension.

One side were too polite to say but they didn’t like it - I overheard them talking about it.

However we did it because it wouldn’t have ruined their garden view etc and the builders were good at not disturbing the neighbours too much. To be honest our neighbours are noisy fuckers anyway!

So go ahead and build. It’s your home. You can do your best to minimise disruption as possible but at the end of the day, it’s a semi, the neighbours have to suck it up!

At the simplest level we have lost some light because their design overshadows one of our windows.

However more significant is that my health has deteriorated due to the stress of fighting their first planning application which would have had a much greater impact on our house. They knew our objections, but decided to put in the application anyway. The consultation period came at a very bad time for me personally and having to put together a robust objection at that point was one stressor more than I could handle. Fortunately my efforts paid off and they didn’t get permission.

(That was in response to ciderhouserules)

Why not help them plan and plant for disguising the view of your extension? Show them they can have a nice view of that when the extension is built. Then they can have the home they want too.

You can submit your application to the planning department at the council, they will consult any neighbours or other interested parties. Even if they receive an objection from a neighbour it doesn't automatically mean they will deny your planning approval.
We had a neighbour oppose our planning application but the council still approved it.

We objected to a neighbour's extension plans and the plans were subsequently amended as part of the official planning permission process. The neighbours came round to discuss it in advance and in return we told them in advance that we would be objecting. It's a bit awkward but very civil now. We basically said it was up to the planners to decide the final result and we wouldn't be needlessly acrimonious either way. I felt we got a good balance of being reasonable but protecting our light in our house.

Our neighbour claimed that our plans for an extension caused his hairloss (despite the fact that he had built a similar extension on his house). We are on a slope so no issues regarding light. Sometimes neighbours will come up with any excuse to get their own way. Our planning officer had never heard that excuse before.

I too think it’s weird that they’re against the plans because they won’t be able to see into your garden. Who admits to that? (though obviously we all do it if we get the chance). From the dimensions of the gardens it doesn’t exactly seem as though you’re packed in like sardines either.

"I I don't understand why you bought the house if it wasn't big enough ".

Classic passive aggressive comment. Peoples lives change over time, and not everyone can move.

Zebrasinpyjamas I think your approach was sensible. Some people will object to almost anything and consider any alteration is a desecration. Until of course they want to make their own changes.

You might feel reassured, and feel better about it if you check out the rest of the street - and see that there is a already a precedent for similar extensions.

It’s your property and your life so you need to do what is right for you and enjoy your lifestyle there.

With regard to neighbours, it’s probably just human nature not to like change....your neighbours have got used to the status quo, but they will learn to adapt when it is built.

An aged relative was concerned that adjoining neighbours wanted to build on an extension spanning two floors, but they reduced it to the ground floor. You could maybe tell your neighbours you were actually considering a double height extension, but are now just applying for single height?

My aged relative, didnkt like change, but despite her earlier upset and anxiety, has actually gained more privacy from the neighbouring extension.

As others have said, let them know that you will work hard to minimise upheaval and disruption.

With respect, Scarlet and with sympathy for your MH, you cannot expect the neighbours to take your MH into account when planning their house. OK the original plan was thrown out, and so it should be if it doesn't conform to Building Regs, but the 'emotions' and MH of the neighbours should not be a consideration. A houseowner has the right to build if they want to and it conforms.

When did my extension, my NDN asked me to alter my prospective roofline, as she wanted to do a similar extension in the future and wanted to tie it into mine for a seamless look. I didn't like the new look, and it meant i had to use different roofing tiles, but I did alter the drawings and the build, and (5 years on) she has not got the money together to do hers. I have not had a single sleepless night over it.

ciderhouserules I didn’t say they should take my health into account. I wouldn’t expect them to know why their timing was so abysmal and damaging to me.

But I am still upset that having asked for our comments on their plan, and us pointing out the significant loss of amenity to us which was enough to get it rejected, they went ahead anyway. Thus putting the onus on us to object.

I’m not going to fall out with them over it. I just don’t want to speak to them yet.

It's a bit extreme to have health issues from fighting planning permission, I can't imagine caring so much about something to make myself ill over it. And they didn't get it anyway so it was a waste of time getting so worked up! It's no one else's fault but yours that you got ill from it.

OP I think it's good that you went to ask your neighbours. I'm with PPs who've said they don't understand how they can view your garden from their kitchen window, don't you have fences?

I’m not going to fall out with them over it. I just don’t want to speak to them yet.

I think they'll presume you have fallen out with them over it!! It's an improvement to their property, with their money and you got what you wanted! They wanted what they wanted and have been rejected and accepted and done the next best thing! To be honest I'd be adult about it and accept that both parties differed in thoughts and voiced that, therefore stop blanking them/not talking (but you've. It fallen out ) and move on? It can't help anyone's MH to have to avoid/not talk to neighbours can it? Be pleasant!

sonneedshelp I totally agree.
I honestly think anyone has to be careful when giving neighbours attitude for doing building work that have passed planning and building regulations. Anything could happen to anyone's home which needs work doing, and noise and inconvenience would follow, and you can then expect attitude back from those neighbours you have ignored/badmouthed while they did their work.

The problem with discussing proposed works with neighbours is that they end up thinking they have a say in the proposed development and get offended if you dont make the alterations they want. Far better to keep it formal and go through the proper channels that way proposal and objections can be kept at a distance.

Renovations can bring out some very strange attitudes amongst neighbours, perceiving improvements as a criticism of their own homes.

My DB came out with a corker when he saw that the people who had bought our old family home were moving on after some years. DB was absolutely frothing at the mouth when he saw the estate agents pictures, describing the perfectly reasonable changes the owners had made as a desecration.

In his eyes the house was perfect and should have been preserved in aspic.