To build extension? Neighbour thinks so

[namechangenelly12]

Last year DH and I bought our dream house. It's a semi, decent sized and on a lovely street. Neighbours all seem lovely. Not moved in yet as it needed completely renovating which we are on with.

After going back and forth for a while, not being sure we could afford it, talking about how lovely it would be we decided that actually we wanted to build an extension on the back to make the kitchen diner into more of a family room, and give us a utility room as well.

We got our plans drawn up and submitted and went to show the neighbours, we'd told them before but wanted to be decent and show them the plans so we could discuss it if they wanted to.

Basically neighbours are not happy at all, as it will spoil their view from their kitchen window. Their view is basically into our garden, which to be fair won't be there anyway as lots of the trees are old and dead and conifers which we hate so after we'd finished the house we were going to completely redo the garden too (once we've saved up again)

Neighbours are very early 60s and have mentioned before to us that they have considered moving to something smaller.

I feel really awful to be honest as they seem lovely people and were really quite upset by it, saying they would be heartbroken etc, and I hate the thought that I've upset them. So I do feel really bad but at the same time I don't want to not do it. It wouldn't be an option to make it smaller, basically any extension we built in that spot would have the same effect, and we can't build an extension anywhere else.

WIBU to still go ahead and build the extension as we have it planned (assuming we get permission), even though I know they would be upset by it?

Agree it isn't unreasonable to do the extension, but reassure them you will try to make sure the builders you go with have a good reputation for working respectfully, tidying up, not working with machines when it is late etc so it goes as smooth as possible. If you have any flexibility around dates could you find out if there is a better part of the year for you to start the works - bearing in mind building works dont always stick to schedule.

You could also let them know you plan to remove the trees anyway and offer to look into some tall shade loving plants to put on their side of the new wall?

I think you have almost certainly already brassed them off with all the renovation work, its no fun to live with. Now you have added a new bit. If I were them I might move

It may not just be the extension but the extensive renovations that have been happening (for months?) already. They probably hoped to get a neighbour, not a building site.

Viccat, please, please your exclamation mark after 'may move away sooner than planned' indicates you find the prospect of that amusing in some way?

I am moving due to our vile new neighbours. I have been bullied out of my home, it has cost me a fortune in stamp duty and removal fees.

OP, you sound lovely to care about your neighbours, but you must have your extension if you get permission.

It is the way you go about doing it that can make them feel ok.

So building work to stop at 5.30. Only build 5 days a week. Be considerate of their needs.

Our neighbour did his extension without a party wall award. In the process he destroyed my mature garden border, as he replaced the fence with a wall. He now insists we can't have any plants alongside his wall, as it would cause damp and he says he would sue us.(which is bollocks of course)

He says if we go ahead with our extension plans he will make life hell, and expensive, for us.

Our solicitor advised us that we would definitely win a court case, but that even if we were awarded costs it wouldn't cover all of them.

So, having wasted money on solicitors we are now having to spend a huge amount just to get away from him.

Go ahead and build - they is nothing they can do to stop you. If they object that much then they can move.

What would you rather see from your kitchen window? A garden or a brick wall?

If I lived there a 6' fence would have gone up by now anyway to prevent them having a view of my garden!

Building work doesnt have to be noisy and disruptive but some people do object to any sort of noise from their neighbours' gardens and will take offence at any deviation from what they want.

You are totally unreasonable and I suggest you move to a property without any close neighbours!

I already live in one. We bought a house that suited our needs not one that needed messing around with until it did.

Surely all houses need improvement at some point, whether it's extending, remodelling or refurbishing. All comes with noise. This notion that we should only be buying ready made homes that are perfect for our needs right now and need no work doing is ridiculous. If you are lucky enough to find a perfect house like that it means the people before you made it perfect and inconvenienced the neighbours at some point! All houses will go through change in their lifetime.

Our elderly lady objected (nicely) to us building a max height wall between our gardens. She said she liked to see us pottering about as it made her feel less isolated. Maybe it's a similar thing but if I were you I'd still build the extension.

In an urban residential area it's quite normal and expected that the properties around you are going to be modernised/improved/enlarged periodically. Nothing stays the same forever unless you've moved to the Outer Hebrides and invested in a home on an estate.

It sounds as if the neighbors have enjoyed 20 years of zero activity of that type on that side which is unusual (and more likely to be detrimental to the value of their own property incidentally. No one wants to move next door to a decaying neglected property) and are just resisitng the inevitable.

I think you made an error going round to discuss it. I would have just submitted the application as normal. People always hate neighbours having work done - they were never going to give you a grin and say crack on.

My opinion is probably swayed by the fact that we're 18 months into massive extension works on a property which has sat untouched since the 50s. Scaffolding, drains being re dug, 2 floors, new roof, lorries blocking the road with brick deliveries and concrete, the lot.

Mind you, our closest neighbor's boundary is 30 meters away and we're living here in the property while it goes on - god help us - so no noise at unsociable hours and we're always on hand to chat with the neighbors about what's going on. I think that makes a difference.

Continue to be open and pleasant OP. It will help.

@MoreCheeseDear well aren't you just perfect then......but most people live in the real world and properties have to be updated, renovated and adapted!

@Happilyacceptingcookies good post! Spot on!

Renovations need to be done from time to time. Central heating, plumbing, wiring, kitchens, bathrooms. None of them last forever.

We bought a bungalow which needed to be totally renovated as nothing much had been done for decades. Of course there was going to be some noise. Fortunately the attached neighbour was philosophical about it, recognising that the peace she had enjoyed during the years of neglect had been artificial.

Fortunately the attached neighbour was philosophical about it, recognising that the peace she had enjoyed during the years of neglect had been artificial.

This is what i'm trying to say. Years and years of nothing means that at some point there's going to be x, y, z number of months of noise and chaos all at once making up for it.

All houses will go through change in their lifetime. otherwise we'd all still be living in houses with outside toilets, no central heating, pokey rooms, no running water...

All renovations come at a cost; noise, money, relationships. Noise can be kept to a minimum at certain times - I've never known a builder work from earlier than 830 or later than 430pm - or 1230 on a Saturday, which is not excessive.

Do your extension OP; the neighbour can object but you are (presumably) within your Rights to extend, and Building Control will tell you this. Their 'emotions' are not a reason to live in a pokey, not-ideal house.

I think you made an error going round to discuss it. Absolutely not. I think it's important to let your neighbours know what your plans are and what you're permitted to do anyway without planning permission.

You should ensure your neighbours feel comfortable raising anything with you, especially if you're not on-site whilst the building works take place. Builders can crack on much quicker when they're working on an empty house, but often to the detriment of neighbouring properties. I'm not the first person to have come home from work to find the neighbour's scaffolding erected in my garden. Why does any home-owner/builder think this kind of behaviour is okay?

The only reasons not to show plans to a neighbour are to avoid an uncomfortable discussion or because the plans are unreasonable and will have progressed far enough before the neighbours realise what's being built. You have to live next to these people, so ensure you maintain good relations with them.

I would just do what you want.

We bent over backwards to please our neighbours, involved them in the plans before we submitted them to the council, and only submitted them once both sides were happy, and even then we altered things after we had been granted permission to build (obviously got further approval), in order to keep one side happy, and they've since sold and moved away, so the things we altered (which meant that I lost space that I actually need) could've been left as the new people would've known no different.

Turned out they'd been planning to move before we had even decided on an extension, as they move every 4-6 years without fail.
New neighbours wouldn't have cared either way, and wouldn't even have known because different because it was all finished before they went on the market.

So, no, I wouldn't compromise again, certainly not to the extent we did. I'd obviously consider my neighbours opinions, but wouldn't change things I actually really wanted/needed again because you never know how things will play out.

You’re not being unreasonable, if it passes planning permission.

But it will cast a very long shadow on your relationship with your neighbours.

Our neighbours are doing a massive rebuild and they have chosen their design over the negative impact on us at various points along the way. I’m now avoiding them because I am sad about what we have lost and don’t trust myself to be friendly with them. One day hopefully I’ll be ready to rebuild a relationship, but not yet, and I think it will be hard to ever completely let go of the resentment.

What have you 'lost', scarlet?

I understand Scarlett

I'd get plans drawn up to ensure the extension would come under permitted development so you don't need planning permission. Then I'd get a 6 foot fence around the boundary. They enjoy the view of your garden?! So when you move in every time you're hanging out washing, or the kids are playing out or you're sunbathing topless you're going to be wondering if they are watching. I'd present this as a compromise in that you've kept extension to a reasonable size whereas if you sell a new buyer might not be so reasonable. Then if you're feeling particularly nice buy them half a dozen climbers to plant on their side of the new fence to pretty it up for them.

I think personally as long as they don’t have windows looking directly in your gardens that extensions should be objectionable anyway for neighbours. At the end of the day it’s your land you own it. Then again I don’t understand needing permission to have a shed over a certain size or a static caravan in your garden. Bonkers.