To Be a Supermarket Snob?

[MitziK]

[Takes deep breath and sticks head over parapet]

OH took over pretty much all shopping, cooking and cleaning a while ago, as I was struggling to manage working fulltime with a massive Psoriatic Arthritis flare and he hadn't been getting much in the way of work (he was self employed, but the last year, I think, could be better described as unemployed).

Anyhow, he tries, but finds planning and organisation difficult and because I'm a fussy bitch I have strong preferences around food (ie, not from packets, low carb, wholemeal, lots of vegetables, that kind of thing) whilst he is happy to exist on Haribo, pasties and crisps, I get to the point where I have to stick my oar in over what he buys. I couldn't justify an online order, so I got him to agree to coming to a large supermarket with me, as the local mini ones largely sell utter crap ding dinners and overpriced, sad looking veggies.

All major supermarkets are within a short bus ride away in different directions. He insisted upon Tesco's. Not keen, but I'm not going to knock it. It's better than another month of the offerings from round the corner.

Anyhow, within a few minutes, I'm feeling disoriented, vague and as though I had a migraine without a headache. I struggled through, got the shopping and we escaped - but it took so long, what with having to go back and look at the same bits twice because I couldn't see what was wanted the first time of looking for it. It wasn't enormously busy, I wasn't panicking or anything like that and there weren't huge numbers of screaming kids even if there were several people who stopped dead in front of me, which is a heinous offence, IMO - but I felt awful and I was relieved to be out of there. As soon as I stepped outside, I felt fine again. I've disliked shopping there before, but put that down to being surrounded by screaming kids, angry Mums and probably being a bit hormonal or tired.

He says that I should just give him a list and not put myself through shopping again, but I never feel like that when I go to either Waitrose, even when they're packed. He was sympathetic but thinks I'm being silly and a bit of a snob, as veggies, meat and bread flour/yeast are the same wherever you shop - but why am I absolutely fine shopping in one and not the other? Could it be the lighting? Should I just give up and let him deal with it all?

Am I just being a snob and not able to articulate or admit it?

It all just sounds odd.

If you can't handle shopping then don't complain about what he buys when he does it. And yes, you are being a snob.

A large Tesco is busier, louder, more hectic than a Waitrose. Not sure if it snobbishness, more wanting to avoid anxiety? Either way I'd say 1st world problems, keep going to Tesco's, you'll habituate.

Why is online shopping not feasible for you?

Otherwise I'd let him get on with it.

Either give him a list and let him do the shopping, or you do the shopping yourself in waitrose

The tescos here is more middle class than waitrose 😂 Waitrose here is full of 76yr old moaning twats and screaming newmoney yummy mummy brats with pudding all over their faces. Wouldn't be caught dead in it.

Yanbu to way to eat healthily.

Tesco making you feel ill when Waitrose never does is strange and fodder for the media or Classics section. Have you ever tried Aldi or Lidl?

Is money an issue? Your h's suggestion of a list sounds very sensible.

Online shopping, it's what everyone does these days. Problem solved

Some supermarkets make me feel awful, like a headache is about to start. I think it’s a combination of the lighting and, in the case of our local Tesco, the aisles being narrow and stacked much higher than our Sainsbury’s. There is more natural light in Sainsbury’s.

You can get online shops delivered very cheaply of you get it on a weekday eve ir get a delivery pass, what is it that puts you off?
I have a toddler so i do all my shopping online, its a lifesaver and it means i can do my shop at the start of the week for my basics and as the week progresses add or remove items until the delivery date. Makes for a far more economical shop as i am not umpulse buying and i only order items i really need.

Just to add I feel fine in Aldi!

Honestly, shop online.

Stephen Fry said he loved Sainsburys because it kept the scum out of Waitrose.
Bit of gentle teasing, op, Booths makes Waitrose look like Nisa. But if you ain't in the North West of England you will never know the wonder of Booths. We make a pilgrimage there every year.

FGS, order your food online and stop making everyone so bloody miserable.

Not so sure it’s just brand aversion! I don’t get on very well with the layout and lighting of large Tesco stores either, and in fact one specific store sets off a migraine every time I go in it. So I don’t anymore, obviously. I reckon it’s a design issue.

Do you have any other supermarkets within reasonable distance, OP? Try experimenting to see if you are light sensitive, for example, or brand sensitive (aka a snob )

I think the minimum spent for free delivery with an online order is around £40, surely you can add enough staples to justify a weekly (or 2-weekly) shop online?

If you use a bus, the deliver fee will cost less than your bus fare anyway.

Free delivery at Ocado for the first year.
Since we got a cleaner and did online shop we have so much more free time to do nice things at the weekend.

Try Sainsbury's next time! I downgraded myself from Waitrose to Tesco to save money, decided I would put with the rage it gave me. But after the CEO made some comment about there already being too many women in boardrooms, I refused to go back there again. So I have moved to Sainsbury's, seems to be a sensible middle ground for me.

Why isn’t online shopping feasible?

More generally I agree with others... either do it yourself or let him do it. I get the disorientation of going into an unfamiliar supermarket and needing to double back to find things, but that’s temporary.

Our Waitrose is massively crowded and busy and moves everything around constantly. Whereas Tesco is much more spacious, not stupidly crowded and I can find what I need. It just sounds like you're used to what you're used to and you don't like change, which is fine.

But if you need someone else to do the shopping, just give him a list and be specific about what you want. My dh is super cheap about shopping and always comes back with not enough of everything or the cheapest, lowest quality item (even if it isn't best value for money, i.e. buys the smallest ketchup, even if it's twice the price per volume of the big bottle that's on offer) he can find that fits what I've asked to get. It drives me nuts. I prefer to do the shopping myself as it's my thing and I'm better at it, but when I'm busy and he needs to do it, I'm just specific about what we need and give a list and off he goes. I just make sure to heartily criticise his poor choices when he gets home.

Btw we don’t actually go to the supermarket much any more. We have a shared shopping list on an app, and we do online shopping. So much easier.

Try Aldi. Less information overload. If you're after mainly fresh produce and basics rather than choice of multiple brands and processed stuff you might get on better. Or you might just be a snob .

I was in Booths this afternoon. The woman behind me was wearing a fur coat and bought 12 Creme Eggs and nothing else. Pure class.

That's style @ShatnersBassoon

Booths is lush!!

It could be the crowds or something about that building OP. I used to go shopping in Kingston & come home with splitting headaches. Turns out my dodgy sinuses can't cope with the air con/ventilation in the Bentalls Centre. John Lewis was ok though .

Why can't you do an online shop? Or give DH the list and he does an online shop?