To Be a Supermarket Snob?

[MitziK]

[Takes deep breath and sticks head over parapet]

OH took over pretty much all shopping, cooking and cleaning a while ago, as I was struggling to manage working fulltime with a massive Psoriatic Arthritis flare and he hadn't been getting much in the way of work (he was self employed, but the last year, I think, could be better described as unemployed).

Anyhow, he tries, but finds planning and organisation difficult and because I'm a fussy bitch I have strong preferences around food (ie, not from packets, low carb, wholemeal, lots of vegetables, that kind of thing) whilst he is happy to exist on Haribo, pasties and crisps, I get to the point where I have to stick my oar in over what he buys. I couldn't justify an online order, so I got him to agree to coming to a large supermarket with me, as the local mini ones largely sell utter crap ding dinners and overpriced, sad looking veggies.

All major supermarkets are within a short bus ride away in different directions. He insisted upon Tesco's. Not keen, but I'm not going to knock it. It's better than another month of the offerings from round the corner.

Anyhow, within a few minutes, I'm feeling disoriented, vague and as though I had a migraine without a headache. I struggled through, got the shopping and we escaped - but it took so long, what with having to go back and look at the same bits twice because I couldn't see what was wanted the first time of looking for it. It wasn't enormously busy, I wasn't panicking or anything like that and there weren't huge numbers of screaming kids even if there were several people who stopped dead in front of me, which is a heinous offence, IMO - but I felt awful and I was relieved to be out of there. As soon as I stepped outside, I felt fine again. I've disliked shopping there before, but put that down to being surrounded by screaming kids, angry Mums and probably being a bit hormonal or tired.

He says that I should just give him a list and not put myself through shopping again, but I never feel like that when I go to either Waitrose, even when they're packed. He was sympathetic but thinks I'm being silly and a bit of a snob, as veggies, meat and bread flour/yeast are the same wherever you shop - but why am I absolutely fine shopping in one and not the other? Could it be the lighting? Should I just give up and let him deal with it all?

Am I just being a snob and not able to articulate or admit it?

How are you in farm shops or do you only get your food from supermarkets?

You can have a midweek delivery pass for £3 a month with Asda, or £3.49 with Tesco. Minimum order, £40. Or you can order from Asda for £1 a time for lots of evening slots, minimum order £25.

No visiting the supermarket required. Magic.

I think you are unnecessarily making this very hard for both yourself and your DH! Just do an online shop. The delivery cost is not high if you buy a year pass or book well in advance - probably the same as your bus fare to the supermarket.

Let him do the shopping, and let him go where he wants.

On a separate note, I have Psoriatic Arthritis as well and I know how horrible it can be

First, sympathies for the psoriatic arthritis. It's very painful and off-pissing. If you have it as part of a spectrum of auto-immune related issues, then yes the lights in a massive Tesco could bother you.

I think you do need to start justifying an online shop, tbh. Either that or make clear and specific lists. Your diet matters with psoriatic arthritis, so you should prioritise it calmly and decisively if possible.

Media Fodder? How do I change my user name? I was thinking of something along the lines of TheMailIsARacistShitrag.

The Lidls are slightly more difficult to get to and very busy all the time. Each time he's gone to them whilst I'm at work, he's not been able to get all that was on the list and doesn't see the point of going there if he's then got to go somewhere else afterwards.

I do online orders when we need lots of heavy stuff, but we weren't going to be spending enough for the minimum order + delivery to be cheaper than bus fare and shopping (and yes, money is tight at the moment)

He is right that a potato is a potato is a potato. I don't think they are imbued with magical powers when a Waitrose basics label is slapped on the bag. But I've never felt like that going there to shop - and I do think that if I'm going to be picky about food, I should bloody well go and get some of it myself, rather than expect him to do it all.

I know I'm a twat. That goes without saying. But I'm not sure if I am really a snob or it's something like the lighting they use that makes one horrible and one perfectly fine to mooch around when I'm craving things that aren't sold round the corner.

Do the shopping online, keep a list in the kitchen and he and you can each put when you want on it, then everyone's happy!

If money is tight you need to get your head round shopping somewhere other than Asda.

Than WAITROSE!!

Also, just seen your post about the cost thing. You can get a delivery saver pass from eg Tesco, and then midweek deliveries are 'free' (well, included). I worked it out to about £1 a delivery - less than the cost of driving!

If money is that tight I'd put up with the head ache or let him go personally rather than insist on shopping at Waitrose, it really is more expensive.

I feel horribly ill in most supermarkets but can usually cope fine in Waitrose. I'm a migraine sufferer and have always assumed that it's the lighting and wider aisles, and there just seems to be less sensory overload.

Supermarket snobbery is daft. It makes sense to buy basic items where they are cheapest, which generally means Aldi /Lidl then go to other supermarkets, bakeries, butchers, farm shops etc to stock up on more interesting stuff.

I concluded that deliveries were less money than the bus fair, and I even out all the deliveries by buying longer term things over time.

E.g. one week I might only want £15 of food, so I'll stock up on loo roll, bleach, shampoo or whatever is on offer, just to top up to the £25.

Another week I might want a bottle of wine which tops it up, or maybe I'll get a big bag of pasta.

I think if you are on average spending less than £100 per month on food for two you must be being really incredibly incredibly frugal (and frankly I'd be amazed that you can do that in Waitrose).

If finance is tight, then do Aldi. Own brands are just as good, and there is less choice to befuddle you. Plus you can be in and out in 30 mins. You can get most things there.

Our WR is lovely to shop in it is just a different type of shop to the other supermarkets ime. I think you need to go early in the morn or later in the evening to get a better shopping experience in Tesco or the other shops OP

If money is tight it’s prerty stupid to shop in Waitrose!
£26 for a £25 online shop in Asda would get you far more for your money.

My mate is a food snob. Only shops at Waitrose. I'm more an ASDA girl myself. One day I was in ASDA buying plain economy brand yogurt but the checkout girl was having a problem getting the bar code to scan. We then noticed that the lid was ASDA but the pot was labelled up Waitrose. I didask my friend how much that item was selling for in her local Waitrose but she never replied... :)

I have supermarkets I like and those I don't 🤷🏼‍♀️. The massive local Tesco makes me panic as it's huge and I can't see any windows although I like the smaller Tesco and have no issue in it. I love our local Sainsbury's but hate the two local ASDAs. I also hate the two nearest Morrison's. I've never been in a Waitrose in my life Scottish

Ha ha

I couldn't justify an online order Er what does that mean ? Why can't you justify it ? Just order online , that's all you have to do.

Yes you’re being A snob,and wilfully missing out on bargains
No way round it Waitrose is more expensive than supermarket,less of a problem if money isn’t a problem
However you’ve said money is tight,so in that case Waitrose is not sensible choice

I shop in Tesco just for the points. To be fair, I used to use a lot of fuel for work too so that boosted the points up.
Over the years my Tesco points have paid for a holiday in a French chalet, an expensive bracelet and necklace, a sewing machine, and more recently a Cineworld unlimited card for my daughter.
I prefer the actual food in Waitrose though!

The Tesco I go to is very brightly lit and seems a bit disorganised. I often feel a bit odd there. The Waitrose nearest me is much nicer and more thoughtfully laid out. Waitrose seems a bit more expensive, and I tend to stick to the things I prefer from there. I have a card, so the free newspaper makes it worth my while. I generally find the products nicer.
I'm not fussy where I shop, and usually pop into Tesco because it is the nearest,
It's not you OP.

I make a list and send DP if I’m unwell. He was in charge of the food shopping when I’d had a c-section for example, I just wrote lists for him. Don’t put yourself through shopping if it’s too much for you.