To be upset my house is continuously critised

[Lisalouisa]

Just that really. My parents, builders etc all come in my house critise my house. ‘Oh you need to do this’ or ‘ that’s looking a bit shabby’

We have only owned the house since June and brought it as a work in progress. We know things need doing but unless they want to hand us thousands of pounds to sort it all out why can’t they just shut their mouths.

AIBU to refuse to have anyone over anymore? It’s making me so sad and making me hate my home too.

Ask them when they are free to do x y or z?

YANBU. They should shut the hell up.

If you know it needs doing why does it upset you? It's not like it was a style choice to have it that way and they are insulting your personal tastes.

Are they really being critical or are they just generally chatting about what your house needs doing? I love chatting about stuff like this but i wouldn't be doing it to criticise it would be more to think about future projects.

In the builders' case they're either pointing out things that need doing (which is only professional) or trying to drum up business.

In the case of your parents etc, some people just can't help themselves. If it's happening every time they come round stop inviting them, or have you tried responding with 'And?'. See if they think they have sensible advice to offer or if they run out of steam when pressed to actually come up with something insightful or useful instead of just pointing out the obvious.

They may think they're just making conversation and not really have given any though to how much of a sensitive subject it may be for you.

We’ve bought a good few do-er uppers on our buying journey. See it as a positive- they can see the potential the home you have bought has...... they aren’t asking why on Earth you’d have bought it

My MIl has done this with our house-‘what you need is a two storey extension on the back of your house-it would give you lots of room!’ to which I snapped back that unless someone else was going to pay for it, it wasn’t going to happen.

I think it’s astounsingly rude to talk about someone else’s house like that unless your opinion has been asked. Snap back a few times, it should stop.

Because they thought I should have brought a new build so are constantly pointing our how inadequate this house is. Basically it’s not the home, or the area, they wanted us to buy in so they make noise.

‘Yes, thanks we know that. I thought we told you this is a long term project? It’s a great house which will take time to get how we want it. Tea anyone?’

That was a reply to knitted. New at this sorry

Good grief, have they seen some of the press about shoddy new builds? Just keep closing them down and if they don’t stop then say that it’s probably best if they don’t come since they don’t care for it.

Don’t fall out of love with your dream because of bullies.

Try to look at all the positives. What have you done to the house so far? Could you point that out to them? Take some before and after pics

We get the same - it's too small now you've got two kids .... so now planning an extension ... oh that's such a big project you'll get into trouble and builders will rip us off, we don't realise how difficult it'll be you'll be paying for it .... bearing in mind we've had work done already on our home before we had children so know it can be a pain whilst it's being done but apparently we don't know (we do... I'm dreading it to be honest! But it'll Make our home much better and bigger) ... can't fucking win!

This, along with my MIL being a total bitch about my home if it's not PERFECT many years ago we lived in a small house and literally cleaned it from top to bottom as she's always such a cow - she walked in, hadn't even taken her gloves off let alone her coat and I heard 'goodness what's wrong with your television' ... the ONE FREAKING THING WE HADN'T DUSTED!!

I've learnt now to just Enjoy your home - older homes have far more character than new builds

Say 'thank you!' to them, and then suggest they might like to help (not the builders) with the practical side e.g. painting, cleaning etc. If they keep on, but don't offer help, just tell them it is rather rude to comment like this.

Otherwise, take no notice. It's your choice and your house.

I'd get in first -

"Yes, we need to do X, Y and Z. No the house is not a perfect new build. Yes it is the house we want, and yes, it is rude for anyone to keep on criticising it, so now that conversation is over, let's change the subject. Tea or coffee?"

Look I have inherited an 1900 Edwardian stone front terrace house and I intend to restore it with modern but in keeping of an Edwardian age. But for now I have 40 yr old pvc windows with the lead hanging but still dry and undrafty an 1980s kitchen ( still clean and usable. And the crowning glory an 1970s era avocado bath suite complete with matching wet look avocado floral tiles, ( again clean and usable and I thing maybe perhaps may come back into fashion????) the one that gets the most comments is the avocardo bathroom( I put up an Moroccan light fitting from next and we now call the Moroccan room, also leopard print bathe mats and towels differed we would go the 70s vibe but we had visitors laughing at it cheek or what? At least it clean. I would never have the cheek to comment on anyone's house. Anyway we are doing a room at a time the kitchen first.

Why do your builders wish you'd bought a different house in a different area?

It's incredibly rude. Our house has just had a total renovation after years of doing nothing to it. Stepdaughter: "I don't understand why you didn't do it before". Well, love, three reasons really - no time, no energy and no money.

Galactic in that case I was talking about my parents.

Where were you going to bring it to?

Just be rude and say ‘This conversation was boring the first time and the 50th time. Shall we put it to bed?’

I don't really understand why builders are all coming into your house and critiscing it. Builders don't just walk into folks houses and do that, you need to ask them in and then they give their opinion, you don't expect to ask them in and they say fuck me it's great and leave do you?

Stop inviting builders in.

Basically it’s not the home, or the area, they wanted us to buy in so they make noise.

You are not a child. It's fuck all to do with them. Stop having them round if they piss you off with shitty comments. Or, just turn it back on them saying how you are really looking forward to doing all the work over time, having lots of projects, all the potential it has. How happy you are you didn't buy a new build box, that kind of thing.

If they continue to piss on your chips then they really are not nice people, sorry.

Bluntness because they are in doing other things. For example I replaced my kitchen and the guy decided to moan on about the wooden floors and how they look ‘shit’ because they need resanding. Or the gardener who moans that the hallway ‘need painting’ i’m not asking for opinions. Just do your job and shut up. I wish I had the bulls to say it. Maybe I need to grow a pair!

That's very odd, usually tradespeople don't make comments like that in peoples homes,