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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go on a week-end break by myself

41 replies

lamii · 06/01/2019 08:57

leaving 11months baby for the first time and DH. Just so I can see friends and enjoy myself!
When did you leave baby for the first time?

OP posts:
BeBaBoBa · 06/01/2019 09:02

I left my baby for the first time at 11 months. It was absolutely fine! Go for it! You’re important too.

Original poster
lamii · 06/01/2019 09:58

@BeBaBoBa thanks. I need to be encouraged! :)

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 06/01/2019 10:02

I went on a hen do at around that time; did me the world of good

AnnaFiveTowns · 06/01/2019 10:17

Hmmm. I'm not sure. I went away for a weekend for the first time when DS was 14 months old; I didn't enjoy it because I was worrying about him missing me; when I got home he seemed really sad; when I think about it now I wonder why I did it. The problem is that you can't explain to a baby of that age where you're going and when you'll be back so the whole experience must be quite bewildering and potentially terrifying for them. I suppose a lot depends on the quality of his relationship with his dad - but still, you're his main carer and biggest love and for all he knows, you've gone forever. Lots of people will.come on and say it's fine, I left my baby for a week when they were 2 months old...etc. but many people are insensitive to the feelings of babies; just because they can't speak and tell.you they're distressed, doesn't mean they're not distressed. So sorry, based on my own experience, and hindsight, I would say wait until your child has enough language that you can explain where you're going and when you'll be home. Or maybe just take a whole day off and go somewhere nice, treat yourself to a nice lunch, afternoon tea etc but be home before bed?

HRTpatch · 06/01/2019 10:20

I left mine at 8 months for 5 days. And didn't even phone home ( the days before mobile phones)

SlackerMum1 · 06/01/2019 10:21

Left mine for 2 days at 9 months for a trip with a friend. Was a much needed break! I guess it depends on who’s looking after and what the relationship is like. DH took a sabbatical when DD was 6 months so he was as much a primary carer as I was. Don’t think she noticed I was gone....

NightOwlHoney · 06/01/2019 10:23

God yes, do it! I go to Paris on my own every year for 4 days. It is the highlight of my year.

PinkHeart5914 · 06/01/2019 10:23

Child will be with the father who I asssume is more than capable of looking after his own child.

Go!

NightOwlHoney · 06/01/2019 10:23

Posted too soon. I have 5 DC.

secretuser · 06/01/2019 10:25

Yep, I would and I did. I went on one of my best friends hen dos when DS was 10 months old, I live in Cornwall and it was in Norfolk which is about 8 hours away, so no way of getting back if anything went wrong. They were fine and had a great boy's weekend and I had a great time too. DH sent me photos of what they were up to and although I was pleased to get back to him I'd happily do it again at that sort of age.

TulipsInbloom1 · 06/01/2019 10:26

Dc1 was about 8mo. I went to Harry Potter studios and just did general London touristy stuff for a weekend.

BlueThesaurusRex · 06/01/2019 10:27

Do it!

applesisapple5 · 06/01/2019 10:29

Oh go!!! As pp I'm going on a hen do when baby is 11 months in April and can't wait!! Enjoy!! ( baby 'seeming sad'? Waiting til they can understand?! Nooooooooo)

Babdoc · 06/01/2019 10:29

I had one weekend away from the kids when they were 9 years and 10 years old. But DH died when they were babies, I was sole carer, so it wasn’t an option for most of their childhood.

CottonTailRabbit · 06/01/2019 10:34

I did that and longer trips. It was brilliant.

People offered to help DH while I was away. He took offence at them to their faces (in a nice jokey way) pointing out that he's quite capable of looking after his own children for a couple of days, he's not mentally deficient thank you very much.

Proves the man's a keeper and shamed some of his friends into suggesting their wives go for more trips.

BeardofZeus · 06/01/2019 10:37

I just had a night away from my nearly 6mo to see old school friends at one of their houses, 90 mins away. Baby was perfectly happy with dad, i pumped twice whilst away to ease my discomfort and enjoyed an uninterrupted night’s sleep!

CrookedMe · 06/01/2019 10:38

Oh honesty @applesisapple5 having one of two parents go away for a couple of nights is not terrifying.

OP, go.

user1471549213 · 06/01/2019 10:39

I had to leave my first at 7 weeks as it was my best friends hen do. She'd been engaged for about 10 years and I couldn't miss it. She got on fine with her daddy and he enjoyed the time alone. He's a capable adult as I'm sure your DH is too. I would go.

TulipsInbloom1 · 06/01/2019 11:03

AnnaFiveTowns
Boggling.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 06/01/2019 11:05

Of course it's fine. Your baby is with his dad! Go and have some fun.

applesisapple5 · 06/01/2019 11:40

@crookedme I was responding to @annafivetowns who seems to be transporting several skips full of anxiety

CrookedMe · 06/01/2019 12:39

Oh I meant to tag Anna too. Apologies!

Original poster
lamii · 07/01/2019 17:12

Thanks guys for encouraging me! I'm scared to miss my baby.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 07/01/2019 17:14

Are you going?

CrookedMe · 07/01/2019 17:18

Well you've missed things before and it didn't kill you! Go and have fun, you'll be elbow deep in shitty nappies again soon enough.

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