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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask about changing a toddler?

31 replies

JagerPlease · 06/01/2019 08:52

DS is 2.5 and a highly energetic, never sits still kind of toddler.

Everytime he needs changing, whether it's a nappy or between clothes and pyjamas, it's a complete nightmare. The sight of a nappy has him running full pelt in the opposite direction, he physically fights it by kicking, flipping himself, launching himself (or the contents of his nappy). Clothes is the same physically battle, gripping sleeves so you can't get them off his arms, pulling the neck back off, kicking his legs etc.

All this isn't so bad in a smaller child, but he's now pretty strong. I've tried explaining why he needs changing, letting him choose clothes, warning in advance that he's going to get changed, getting him to help, but it makes no difference. He's exactly the same for EXW, but apparently a different story with his childminder and my mum, where he's so helpful he holds his legs up while his nappy is changed.

Any advice?!

OP posts:
Qcng · 06/01/2019 09:02

Oh you have my total sympathies.
Mine was exactly like this, but grew out of it thankfully after his 3rd birthday sometime.

The only time he EVER got out of his PJs and dressed without fighting and running around was when his 7 year old cousin did it. She liked to dress him and do his bath and everything. He was like a completely different child. I loved inviting her to stay!

We have a morning ritual where he watches cartoons for a while I cook breakfast and do some chores.
To get him dressed I'd say need to say "do you want me to turn The Go Jetters off?" - "No no no" - "well get dressed then or I'll switch it off" that worked.

Acerbics · 06/01/2019 09:04

Get rid of the nappy. Use pull-ups where possible; it was a real game-changer for us. Yes, they are more expensive, but the lack of stress is totally worth it. Plus, they can dress themselves and most children love that responsibility.

DinoGreen · 06/01/2019 09:45

My DS is a few months older than yours but we had/have the same issues. Potty training has resolved the nappy changing woes - have you thought about starting? Ds still wears a nappy at night and I’ve switched to the pull up style which is much easier because you don’t need them to lie down.

With clothing I try to make it into a game. Eg ask him where his trousers go, is it on his head? Makes him laugh and then more compliant. I sometimes still get very frustrated with him though!

katykins85 · 06/01/2019 09:50

My 2 year old is the same, and his two older sisters were too. Only thing that works here is making it into a game, lots of distraction and some brute force 😂

Silkei · 06/01/2019 09:58

That’s really late to not be potty trained. Perhaps that should be the first option you explore.

divadee · 06/01/2019 10:00

*silk it is not "very" late to be potty trained. It is about average to be starting.

Thesearmsofmine · 06/01/2019 10:02

Totally normal phase. And no it isn’t really late to be potty trained Hmm

Dermymc · 06/01/2019 10:02

Start potty training

Redcrayonisthebest · 06/01/2019 10:02

That’s really late to not be potty trained. Perhaps that should be the first option you explore.

For fucks sake, there's always one!!! Angry

Dermymc · 06/01/2019 10:04

It depends on the generation re potty training. To my parents, being 2.5 is very late. In my friendship group its about average. There are all sorts of arguments, I think disposable nappies have taken away the incentive to train so people happily leave it.

kaytee87 · 06/01/2019 10:05

That’s really late to not be potty trained. Perhaps that should be the first option you explore.

It's really not.

Op most 2yo are a bit like this. Bribery (can't go to fun thing if you're not dressed), distraction & treats help. He'll grow out of it!

gamerchick · 06/01/2019 10:06

Oooo Silkei is going to wisdom on this thread about the ease of potty training before 2 if that age is really late. Grin

AntiHop · 06/01/2019 10:09

My dd was much younger when she was like this (8 months I think) but despite being tiny it was still impossible to change her if she was against the idea. The only solution was giving her a you tube video to distract her.

JagerPlease · 06/01/2019 10:25

Thanks for suggestions so far. Will definitely give pull ups a go and like the idea of making clothes a game.

I have a potty, have considered starting but he can't yet tell me when he needs the toilet (and is adamant he hasn't done a poo when he has) so it doesn't feel like he's quite ready. It doesn't seem late to me at all when compared to his peers, the only person I know who believes everyone should be out of nappies by 2 is my grandma

OP posts:
EyUpOurKid · 06/01/2019 10:37

Only thing that works here is making it into a game, lots of distraction and some brute force

This Grin my two year old can be a sod if he doesn't want his bum changed. We've been using pull ups since he was about 8 months and realised he could flip. Trying to clean up poo whilst holding onto the ankle of a bare arsed retreating toddler is no fun.

No intention of starting potty training here for ages either. He'll train when he's developmentally ready.

flamingofridays · 06/01/2019 11:20

That’s really late to not be potty trained. Perhaps that should be the first option you explore

No its not. Biscuit

flamingofridays · 06/01/2019 11:22

Oh and op we do what pp said ie telly will go off, toys will gp away, we cant go to nursery/the park/nanny and granpas house with a dirty nappy on.

Also "racing" is working at the min. As in right ds lets race daddy.. can we get dressed and changed before daddy comes back in the room.

MarinaMarinara · 06/01/2019 11:24

That is about the age my eldest was ready to potty train - went from not ready at all to completely ready in about a week and took a further week to train fully (Day and night) so no regrets at all about waiting til she was ready. You may find this all resolved itself with potty training (when little one is ready) over the next month or two? In the meantime, bribery and pull-ups and enormous OTT praise for any successful potty interest or use would be my suggestion.

CheeseAndBeans · 06/01/2019 11:38

My 2.5 year old is like this too! We changed to pull ups and definitely made it easier.

She is not potty trained. No where near ready. It's not late at all. My eldest wasn't potty trained until after her 3rd birthday! Each kid is different!

HugoBearsMummy · 06/01/2019 11:41

@Silkei what bollocks. I didn't start till DS turned 3 and he was dry day and night within 2 weeks and has never had an accident outside of the home! It's when the child is READY not based on age.

HugoBearsMummy · 06/01/2019 11:45

And OP I find distraction helps, sing loudly, make it in to a game, talk constantly, give them a toy/book to hold.. DS always runs away when I want to get him dressed in the morning. I've now said that's ok you stay at home all day in your pjs and Mumma will go have fun at the park /Nanna's house etc alone lol he soon wants to get dressed then !

Cheerbear23 · 06/01/2019 11:51

Potty training is getting later, I guess the greater independence of a larger child i.e. running away is a consequence of this.
I would suggest pull ups too, you might find he starts to get more interested in the toilet / potty process as a result.

JudasPrudy · 06/01/2019 11:52

Potty training before a child is ready can be really stressful for the child.

Russaindolly · 06/01/2019 11:57

I have this from my 12 month old now, he's walking and wobble running so if he escapes the changing mat before I can grab him post body flip he's off hurtling through the house. It's a nightmare so you have my sympathies.

Ellie56 · 06/01/2019 11:57

When I read your thread title I thought for a nanosecond you wanted to change him for another one!Grin

Some good suggestions on here.