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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not visit my SisIL?

29 replies

eleigh66 · 05/01/2019 23:10

SisIL has 3 kids age 9,7 & 1

We are quite close with her and reguarly visit. However, every single time we do visit we get nits and it costs a fortune getting rid of them as I have long, thick hair. We recently went to see her and stayed from boxing day for 3 days and came home with a ridiculous amount. We have spoken to her about this and she has the cheek to blame me and says I give them to her kids!
I honestly don't even wanna go anymore purely for the fact I don't want my hair or the kids hair riddled with them and she refuses to take any responsibility and sort her kids out. DH agrees with me too

OP posts:
Original poster
eleigh66 · 05/01/2019 23:11

Also any tips on getting rid of them? We usually switch up treatments and found Nitwits and Lyclear the best

OP posts:
Storybarn · 05/01/2019 23:14

Coat your hair in conditioner, comb through, sleep with it on & wash it off in the morning. Repeat every few days.

Wash your hair in vosene with tea tree oil & also rub tea tree oil in your hair.

Girlicorne · 05/01/2019 23:14

Nitcomb (nitty gritty metal one) and conditioner. DD had them for the first time in the summer, it was grim but got rid with conditioner, metal nit comb and teatree oil spray. I comb her hair with the nit comb every Sunday and spray with tea tree spray (nits hate it) as a preventative measure and she hasn't hsd them since. YANBU as nits are disgusting and I m itching just reading this!!!

Soconfusedbylife · 05/01/2019 23:19

Nitty gritty comb and wet combing with conditioner. Health Visitor prescribes the nitty gritty comb in my area.

Soconfusedbylife · 05/01/2019 23:19

Oh and YANBU I’d stop visiting.

mammmamia · 05/01/2019 23:21

YANBU at all. Can you meet her somewhere else or just go for the day or is it really necessary to stay there? If she’s that slack about treating nits her general hygiene can’t be that great either.

Ynci · 05/01/2019 23:23

Hairspray is a great nit deterrent. If you little ones have their hair in plaits if long or at least bunches, give the whole thing a good coating and the jobs a good ‘un. We got through 13 years of school and never had nits even though I teach as well!
Little girls with their hair flowing is asking for trouble!

Original poster
eleigh66 · 05/01/2019 23:31

Going to invest in the nitty gritty comb
It's her kids I feel sorry for in this situation, it wouldn't surprise me if they were getting bullied in school for this :( i'm tempted to offer to take them for the day and go through their hair

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 05/01/2019 23:34

If they live far enough to have to stay over, surely you don't need to make excuses now school is starting again?

Original poster
eleigh66 · 05/01/2019 23:35

They live an hour and a half away. It's not just the next few weeks, I'm not sure I want to ever visit

OP posts:
Member341379 · 05/01/2019 23:36

Next time plait the kids hair and give a generous spray of tea tree oil (esp at the back of the head by the ears). Horrible having nits.

Heartbrokengirl14 · 05/01/2019 23:38

Tea tree!
My mum used to put tea tree oil in our shampoo as we seemed to be a magnet and it seemed to work

Storybarn · 06/01/2019 14:30

Is there a particular reason why she's not treating her children for nits? Can you treat all of the children at the same time when you see them next? It's a shame that the cousins can't have a relationship because of a preventive problem.

knittedjest · 06/01/2019 14:40

Put your hair up in a ballerina bun and use copious amounts of hairspray.

Original poster
eleigh66 · 06/01/2019 18:24

Storybarn

She's adamant that her kids don't have nits and if they did then they've come from my kids

OP posts:
HeathRobinson · 06/01/2019 18:27

I found hair straighteners useful on older teens.

SocksRock · 06/01/2019 18:34

Another vote for tight plaits/buns and a shit load of hairspray. Also douse them in tea tree which should help.

Nits are grim, we went through the cycle at school a few times and it's such hard work with three kids and me needing treated.

I vividly remember being sat in a client meeting, scratching the nape of my neck and coming away with a nit - lots of control needed not to screech!

HappyBumbleBee · 06/01/2019 18:37

i'm tempted to offer to take them for the day and go through their hair
I can understand that but it won't do any good... Its OK doing the hair but all bedding must be done too - many people believe they don't live for very long away from hair or heads, but they do.
Tea tree shampoo and conditioner once you've got rid is brilliant for keeping them away x

Purpleartichoke · 06/01/2019 18:55

I would not visit again until she addressed the problem. Honestly, I would talk to her again and if tell her you are very concerned for her children. If they have bits and she isn’t addressing the problem, it is probably a matter for child welfare.

Original poster
eleigh66 · 06/01/2019 19:11

I'm going to try the plaits and hairspray for our next visit, if it hasn't improved I won't be going back

OP posts:
ShinyRuby · 06/01/2019 19:18

YADNBU. We had a very similar situation where friends of ours DCs would be visibly crawling with lice & nits. I mentioned it the first few times as I couldn't believe anyone would be ok with their child having live lice & nits. They were treated (although I was accused of making a fuss....) but every time we saw them after that the nits were back & huge live lice. I stopped wanting to see them at all but her DH & mine were old friends from school & my DH didn't want to make a big deal of it Hmm. It was one of those awful situations where I just had to grit my teeth. My DD's always had super tight plaits & buns with loads of tea tree & hairspray. It helped but straight after we'd seen them I'd comb through their hair & find enormous lice. It's actually making me mad all over again!! It went on for years & completely changed my opinion of my friends as parents. They grew out of having headlice in the end but I've never felt the same about them. I came so close to saying something but think the response may have been the same as your SIL's & the friendship would've been over! Hairspray & limited contact is all I can recommend really. Hopefully someone else will mention it too & she'll finally realise.

anniehm · 06/01/2019 19:23

I would suggest the have them to stay approach - at least you can check their hair if you comb/plait the younger ones hair. Maybe she is treating them but they are resistant to the insecticide or someone in their class is reinfecting them (or their mother is if she doesn't treat herself) we had them over and over between ages 5 & 9 or so, then never again.

StoneofDestiny · 06/01/2019 19:39

I wouldn't visit - if she isn't recognising the problem her kids will never be nit free.

Jengnr · 06/01/2019 19:59

Even if she thinks they came from your kids she shoud still treat them, right?

DeRigueurMortis · 06/01/2019 22:14

I think some people are just woefully ignorant about nits.

They think you slap on some nit product and do nothing else and the problem is solved.

It might kill the adults but the eggs hatch later (or they don't wash bedding/clothing) and the cycle begins again - only they think their kid has been re-infected not they they failed to get rid of them in the first place.

I'd ask her how she's treating the nits - maybe she simply doesn't understand just what's involved to get rid of the buggers.

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