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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Almost 12yo sleeping in until noon.

33 replies

annie987 · 05/01/2019 21:56

AIBU to get her up?
My daughter has always loved her sleep - sleeping well as a baby and enjoying an afternoonnap even now on occasions!
She is almost 12 now and hormones etc are obviously kicking in.
Should I be waking her at the weekends at a reasonable hour or just lettin her get on with it?
Her waking time doesn’t affect her ability to go to sleep at night.
I always said when I was a teen that I’d let my kids sleep until they wanted to but my daughter isn’t even a teen yet!
What happens in your house?

OP posts:

Thewifipasswordis · 05/01/2019 21:58

These fishing posts are getting downright bizarre now...

Drogosnextwife · 05/01/2019 21:59

If it doesn't affect her bedtime, let her sleep. I could have slept all day as a young teen. I regularly would come in from school and nap 😂

Original poster

annie987 · 05/01/2019 21:59

Fishing?

OP posts:

DumpTrump · 05/01/2019 22:01

Unless we are going out somewhere I let my 13 year sleep until she naturally wakes up.

Lose2StoneObviously · 05/01/2019 22:04

Let her sleep!

JennyFisher12 · 05/01/2019 22:05

Why wouldn’t you let her sleep?

Bambamber · 05/01/2019 22:06

I would let her sleep, she obviously needs it. I would only wake her up if it was caused by her staying up at night or if was interfering with her sleep at night

Original poster

annie987 · 05/01/2019 22:06

Reassuring posts thank you.
I don’t know why I thought it was a problem really - just seems a bit unhealthy for someone so young - I wonder what she’ll be like as a genuine teen!!

OP posts:

adaline · 05/01/2019 22:19

Why would you wake someone up unnecessarily?

helpfulperson · 05/01/2019 22:21

I've always been like this. If I'm not doing anything I can sleep until midday and got to bed early that night. But if I need to I can also exist on very little sleep for periods of time. I think I 'bank' sleep.

If she gets up when she needs to I would just leave her.

PenguinPandas · 05/01/2019 22:26

Would let her sleep though would check what's she's doing at night and there's not some midnight phone usage going on. I have a 13 year old and her sleep is all over place at the moment, would never stop her sleeping, its the staying awake until silly o'clock I complain about.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 05/01/2019 22:28

These fishing posts are getting downright bizarre now...

What do you mean?

OP if she's not got to be up for anything in particular, I would let her sleep tbh.

Livedandlearned · 05/01/2019 22:30

My teens are having some crazy sleep patterns at the moment, looking forward to getting back to a routine...

drspouse · 05/01/2019 22:32

Check she's getting up OK on week days, otherwise why not?

pinkhorse · 05/01/2019 22:44

Is it affecting any other aspect of her life? Does she have enough time from half a day to fit in friends, family, exercise, homework, chores, clubs etc?

Ribbonsonabox · 05/01/2019 22:45

If she doesn't have to be up for something specific then I'd just let her sleep in! As long as she is actually getting to sleep in the evening and not awake all night then I think a lie in at the weekend is fine! Teens just love sleeping.

lonalsland · 05/01/2019 22:55

I did this as a child/teen - it turned out I had a treatable health issue, but due to tiredness at school etc. It was commented it may have had a detrimental effect on my schooling. Maybe take her for a checkup and then if all good - no problem!

SovietKitsch · 05/01/2019 22:59

Does she have her phone at night? Or a tablet or laptop in there?

Anyway, I must be the mean mum, cos as a general rule if it gets to 10am and my teens are still snoozing I get them up. If there’s a genuine reason they’re tired (ill or late night) then I’ll leave them to it, or an occasional one-off, but otherwise I don’t think lying in bed all day is a great preparation for life.

Flowerpower220394 · 05/01/2019 23:04

I'd leave her to sleep if I was you. She clearly needs the rest and will probably be grumpy and irritable and rightly so, if you woke her up. I assume she returns to school on Monday so she'll have to be up and alert for that.

waterrat · 05/01/2019 23:07

Teens have a very different sleep pattern to children and adults

She is making up for sleep lost by having to get up early in the week probably as that goes against the natural rhythm for teens

Girlicorne · 05/01/2019 23:10

My DD is the same she's 11 and on a Sunday will lie in til 11ish. If we have plans I ll wake her earlier but if we are only going somewhere we can do in half a day I let her crack on. She is up at 7.30 in the week for school or earlier if they are going to breakfast club and 8 on a Saturday for DS football so I think she needs it. If you don't have plans I agree with PPs, let her sleep.

NameNotImportant · 05/01/2019 23:40

I leave my 13 year old dd to sleep and it can be anywhere between 10am and 12 she gets up. She's had quite a few late nights and more screen time over the school holidays but so have I and my husband.

She takes herself to bed at 8pm Ona. School night, gets herself up without any problems on a school morning, prioritises all her spare time on schoolwork and doesn't touch iPads or video games during week as she does school work, eats then goes to bed, she also gives 110 percent at school. If she had a lot of homework she wouldn't lie in and would get herself up on a weekend to finish what she hadn't gotten done mon-Friday.

A op said lying in isn't good preparation for life, I disagree and don't see the harm in sleeping until lunchtime on a day off from work or school if there's no where to be or anything important needs doing. My teen is getting plenty of preparation for adult life and being allowed to lie in on a weekend is a way of relaxing and rebooting herself ready for the hard work again on Monday.

I'm currently reading Why We Sleep and it's very interesting.

BatFaced · 05/01/2019 23:47

I have a 12 year old DS and I wouldn't let him sleep until 12... 10 would be fine but any later and I'd be concerned - unless of course he'd had a very late night

He's up at 7.30am in term time and about 9.30am during holidays and this fits with his usual 9pm bedtime when at school and closer to 11pm in the hols

However what I do shouldn't have a bearing on what you choose to do!

Trudstrundr2 · 06/01/2019 00:01

Unless it's impacting on her or others negatively, like missing out on socialising or spending way too long getting to sleep at night, let her sleep!

My parents were always early risers and I'm not - anything past 9 or 10am wasn't "right" and I'd get forced out of bed as a teen, either directly or by e.g. hoover at my door.

Still fucks me off when I think about it now, years later - I was an otherwise well behaved child who simply needed extra sleep than them naturally, and it often coincided with growth spurts. I clearly needed more sleep yet it offended their ideas of what was normal because clearly everyone should be the same whilst growing up

Even now there's a marked difference between if I have an occasional decent lie in every few weeks Vs if I bash on through - an extra two or three hours seems to top up my sleep for a few weeks after - lovely and I definitely have more energy.

Leave her to sleep!!

Exhaustedmummy1811 · 06/01/2019 00:04

My son turned 12 today and I'm lucky if I see him before lunch, I wouldn't worry too much at a weekend

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