To ask how much you budget to spend on yourself.

[2019budgetplanning]

My DH wants to budget this year. Talking about it, he’s suggested that once we’ve paid all bills and paid into a savings account we each have around £100 per week for us - each.

He’s suggesting that this money would be used for haircuts, clothes, coffee out etc. However, whenever we do things as a family, or spend on DC, that comes out of the savings account.

Does this sound like a manageable amount, I’m a bit concerned as I feel that my expenses are higher than his, ie. haircuts, make-up, clothes etc.

To give you a full picture, our outgoings are low, we already have am reasonable amount of savings (more than 10k), no debt etc. We have monthly membership of an expensive gym which we both enjoy.

I earn more than him, about £1000 per week in a very very stressful job which leaves me minimal time for enjoyment. He does more childcare but does earn an ok amount too.

Any views greatly appreciated, we’re struggling to agree and he’s agreed to seriously consider any thoughts that are shared on this thread

OP put your hard hat on, you are about to get flamed for one of the most first world problems ever.

£100 a week just to spend on myself is personally an impossible dream, but we obviously don’t have your lifestyle or income.

Honestly, I think it’s more than enough. And from the sounds of it, it doesn’t sound like it will matter if you take money out from somewhere if you go over your budget. Also, if you earn more than him some would say it’s fair that you spend more on yourself- others would disagree!

Oh Autumn, thank you for replying! He’s basically suggesting that I’m being ridiculous for suggesting that I wouldn’t be able to live on £100 per week! Perhaps he’s right? I needed to hear that.

Is this for real £100.00pw for spending on yourselves !!!

Sounds like plenty to me. Yes, you buy haircuts, makeup and clothes but those aren't weekly expenses (presumably). Plus you say you are paying in to savings so if you had a sudden expense you could use the savings for it.

I probably spend on average £25 a week on things for myself or days out with my toddler. DH maybe spends £20.

Of course £100 is perfectly manageable but if you can afford more then it's up to you. Maybe have a look at your bank statements for the past few months and try to work out what you already spend, then you'll have a figure to compare it to.

£100 a week and you're concerned it might not be enough? Wtf do you spend on?

I do £100 for fripperies, £100 for eating out, £150 for clothes and £100 for food/ drink while at work. I don’t normally spend all of it.

That’s per month btw not per week!!

I think it entirely depends on your situation and life style and the business you are in - you presumably need to be presentable in work, requiring a work wardrobe, make-up, haircuts and money for lunches / drinks / coffees etc
And of course if you are working in a creative industry you made need to be more up to date with fashion etc.

Can you work out how much you currently spend and see if it amounts to more than 100? And then adjust the budget accordingly?

Everyone will have a different idea of whether that's more than enough or not to spend on the "luxuries" - if you're talking about haircuts, make-ups etc

So the more important question for you is what it means to the rest of your family spending if you were allocated more or less than the £100.

Even the affluent amongst us make budgeting choices, even if they might be at a different level. E.g. you say you're happy with 10k savings ..... some folk would kill for that, others think it's nothing .... so everything you do or don't take for your personal spend is money which doesn't go towards mortgage or savings etc. All depends how comfortable you are with that balance.

£100 is a lot of money to spend on yourself in one week :-O

If you need to look a certain way for work, can it be considered a work expense, like petrol?
But yes, if it doesn't include food shopping or petrol / travel expenses, 100 a week is loads.

I spend an awful lot of money, on goodness knows what! Beauty treatments, meeting friends, food out, clothes, make-up. In December, with Christmas presents and social events, I spent the best part of 6k.. so my salary plus our savings and it has made my DH very cross! He’s right, I need a budget, I was concerned that his suggestion was unreasonable. I can absolutely see now though that it wasn’t at all

Earning £1000 a week is loads!
Personally I would aim to increase your savings if you are earning that much rather than spending it. Dont know what I would spend £100 a week on?? 😁 I could probably find something if I had to ha ha!

So you earn about 4000 a month, or 4000 more than him a month?

I think once bills have been paid, savings allocated (10-15%) whatever is left should be split between you.

OP you are going to get 101 different opinions, the vast majority accusing yo of being a total spendthrift for getting through £100 per week.

It's all relative. For me it wouldn't be enough. There's nothing wrong with that position provided you can afford it.

Wow!!! If you have it and you can save as w well then why not?! Some weeks I have nothing for myself ..

Well work out what you're spending now on health and beauty treatments and clothes, plus be honest with yourself about how much of that is impulse spending rather than necessary. Make sure you add on a bit for contingencies. Some people look effortlessly stylish in supermarket clothes, others including me need to spend a lot more to look the part and feel confident. None of us know how much you spend and how much you have done every time you go to the hairdresser!

My DH is by far the highest earner but we’ve agreed to split frivolous money down the middle.
We each get £450 a month for ourselves. Yes my costs are higher with haircuts etc but we feel it’s only fair to have the same amount, regardless of who is earning it. OP, you can only do extra work because he does extra childcare. I think he’s being reasonable!

Ps if you can afford it then £100pe is not too much. People on here will slate you for having so much, but I think there’s a large number of mumsnetters spending that - and more! -
On themselves

I’m actually feeling really embarrassed that I didn’t think it was enough

Oh and to the person who said that him doing childcare is enabling me to work, yes, of course I agree! We’re both going to have the same amount - so £100 each per week. I wouldn’t ever withhold money from him because I earn more. I don’t begrudge him a penny!

It's all relative though. If you eat out often, or buy expensive clothes- hair done can cost £200 every 6 weeks for some people etc. Both of you write down what you spend for a week and then work out if it ia reasonable. (It would be for me by the way, in my dreams )

All I will say is please look at the bigger the picture.

DH and I are now in out late 40's early 50's and mortgage free with significant savings in the bank. We managed this by not ever spending 6K at Christmas, even although we could have if we wanted.

I think you have to live. All work and no play is boring. However I believe that when you have the ability to secure your financial future you are so bloody lucky and should grab that opportunity with both hands. To fritter the money away on eating out, make up, clothes etc is criminal. That is just my opinion.

OP, I would try it at the £100. It sounds like you aren't used to limiting your expenditure at all, so you will have to actually do some budgeting at that level, and that might be a really positive thing. Try tracking what you spend and seeing what is and isn't worth it to you. If after a few months you find that you would be much happier with a slightly higher amount and can afford it, that's okay, but you might even find that you can reduce the amount.