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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much you budget to spend on yourself.

76 replies

2019budgetplanning · 05/01/2019 18:36

My DH wants to budget this year. Talking about it, he’s suggested that once we’ve paid all bills and paid into a savings account we each have around £100 per week for us - each.

He’s suggesting that this money would be used for haircuts, clothes, coffee out etc. However, whenever we do things as a family, or spend on DC, that comes out of the savings account.

Does this sound like a manageable amount, I’m a bit concerned as I feel that my expenses are higher than his, ie. haircuts, make-up, clothes etc.

To give you a full picture, our outgoings are low, we already have am reasonable amount of savings (more than 10k), no debt etc. We have monthly membership of an expensive gym which we both enjoy.

I earn more than him, about £1000 per week in a very very stressful job which leaves me minimal time for enjoyment. He does more childcare but does earn an ok amount too.

Any views greatly appreciated, we’re struggling to agree and he’s agreed to seriously consider any thoughts that are shared on this thread Grin

OP posts:
cushioncovers · 05/01/2019 20:12

I also think the OP is getting a bit of a hard time- of course £100 a week on stuff for yourself is way more than most people dream of (me included!) but some people do have this kind of money, and that’s fine.

I think the fact that the op doesn't realise that £100 should be more than enough and had to post on MN to ask is the bit that I findHmm

BirdieInTheHand · 05/01/2019 20:21

Oh crikey OP don't beat yourself up and certainly don't fall into a trap of thinking you're selfish, or letting your DH think you're selfish.

People earn differently salaries and there's nothing shameful in spending what you can afford. You work hard to earn your money.

You must make sure that you have a pension and savings but once that's sorted it's none of anyone's business what you spend. £100pw is hardly profligate.

Oly4 · 05/01/2019 22:01

Don’t feel bad because you can spend £100 and others on here can’t. This is mumsnet where you can ask these questions. You shouldn’t be getting a bashing for being richer than other people

JennyFisher12 · 05/01/2019 22:02

I spend more than £100 if I want - depends how much cash I earn

JennyFisher12 · 05/01/2019 22:03

But I also give my husband about £100 pocket money each week

SparklyLeprechaun · 05/01/2019 22:05

No reason to beat yourself up, just think whether you're spending your money wisely when despite being a high earner you're in your late 30s with a mortgage, no pension and little savings. But at the end of the day, it's your life and your money, it's up to you to find a balance you're comfortable with.

SparklyLeprechaun · 05/01/2019 22:07

You shouldn’t be getting a bashing for being richer than other people

She's not, she's getting a bashing for spending thoughtlessly.

Mumshappy · 05/01/2019 22:09

Try the 100.00 and see how you go. Its all relative. You might be better doing a monthly amount to take into account expensive nights out etc. Lifes too short not to enjoy it but at the same time if your wasting money and can make cutbacks then do it and increase your savings.

Waddsup12 · 05/01/2019 22:15

I would worry more about the dramatic change of lifestyle when you retire...

SushiMonster · 05/01/2019 22:18

Given your previous spending I can’t see you being able to stick to £100/week if you’ve been used to buying expensive beauty treatments and designer clothes on a whim.

It does sound like you need a bit of a spend detox.

Maybe try and be really mindful about what you spend, why and how it makes you feel. What do you need. What do you want.

Snowydaysaregreat · 05/01/2019 22:19

£5 a week each.. And sometimes we don't have that.

Snog · 05/01/2019 22:20

OP you seem to be living your life in a bubble divorced from reality.

The majority of uk women manage on less than this and its highly bizarre that you are not aware of this.

Gogreen · 05/01/2019 22:21

If you earn a grand a week I wouldn’t think twice about spending £200 a week on myself if I’m honest.

£100 is a lot (to me and something I’d never have) but you obviously live a different lifestyle so I can see how £100 a week seems little to you.

converseandjeans · 05/01/2019 22:21

I probably spend that amount but I earn a lot less (probably £400p/w) but have none left at the end. Tbh if I earned what you do I think I would want a bit more. I don't think I would like being told my budget if I was earning my own decent wage. Can't you agree to put a certain amount into joint account for bills then do what you like with the rest?

SoyDora · 05/01/2019 22:22

I don’t think you need to feel bad OP, it surely can’t be a surprise to anyone that some people have more money than others?
I’d rethink your pension stance though, and also try to increase your savings. £10k is really not a lot for someone in your position. Our household income is far less than yours but we overpay pensions and have more savings, as well as maintaining a good standard of living.

Gronky · 05/01/2019 22:22

I would recommend adding up all of spending you do 'for yourself', tabulating it and figuring out just how happy that money makes you as you currently spend it vs if you saved a portion of it towards larger purchases.

I take everything I don't spend on essentials, blow 10% from the previous month on completely superfluous stuff for my own amusement then split the remainder 60% into long term savings 20% for spending on a large 'fun' purchase at Christmas and 20% for my summer holiday. I earn a modest wage but this still works out to about £1500 apiece for a rather enjoyable holiday/Christmas present. I also maintain a £10k emergency fund for horrible things like the boiler breaking, ect...

FirmlyRooted · 05/01/2019 22:25

OP, seeing as you have good incomes and can afford it, I don't think you're being unrealistic. £100 per week spending money wouldn't be enough for me either, especially if your social life is mostly going out to see friends. I know you're getting a hard time her but you work hard for your money and can afford it.

converseandjeans · 05/01/2019 22:26

What job do you do btw?! Sounds well paid!
Ignore the negative comments. Lots of people in here will be spending more than you.

KimchiLaLa · 05/01/2019 22:28

I love these threads because people forget it's all relative.
Op why don't you take a look at your last statement and see how much is going on you to see if you think it's reasonable?

Soconfusedbylife · 05/01/2019 22:29

My budget is £90 a month but my haircuts don’t come out of this. My phone bill however does.

Soconfusedbylife · 05/01/2019 22:30

Oh and agree it’s all relative. I’d love more but we’ve had to cut back. If we had more disposable income it’d be higher.

snoutandab0ut · 05/01/2019 22:36

Of course there’s nothing wrong with earning enough that you can spend £100, £200, £500+ per week on yourself. What’s wrong is not having any awareness of your own privilege

BirdieInTheHand · 05/01/2019 22:37

sparklyleprechaun why is her spending "thoughtless" and what does that even mean?!

Bumblebee39 · 05/01/2019 22:37

That is more than I have ever spent on myself but if you can afford it?

OhTheRoses · 05/01/2019 22:47

Interesting though. I work 12 hour days and have a good income. Grown up children.

Monthly:

Lunch and coffees £160
Couple of drinks out £40
Hair £140Blush
Dinner out £50
Phone £30
Cosmetics £20(ish)
Clothes £200 (but includes occasional posh frock needed for dh's work events)

So actually, no I wouldn't like the op's budget. What I would like less would be my DH trying to dictate my spending when I earn a good professional salary.

We are late 50s and our hard yards our long behind us. I could cut £220 of that but have no need to make packed lunches, etc. Bit of an eye opener though.