Did I cheat on him?

[lexidexi]

Been having problems in my relationship for a while. DP moved out temporarily just after Christmas, but we are just getting some space from each other and we were then going to sort through stuff.
I never go out but went out on New Years and had a few too many and went a bit overboard. Me and my friend linked up with a group of guys and kind of stuck with them. I was flirty with one of the guys and I knew at the time it was wrong. DP has now seen photos/videos of me having a piggyback by this guy, standing at the bar with his arms draped round me, him stroking my hair etc. Affectionate but didn't kiss him or anything and he knew I had a partner. It was over the line but DP has gone crazy and said I cheated and he doesn't know if he can forgive me which I don't necessarily agree with? Who's being unreasonable?

Completely agree with MitziK.

It's a forgivable offence. However, it will be thrown in your face constantly and used to further control you.

End the relationship.

@BaconPringles he was single.

I know I went overboard, I just never go out as I can't be bothered with DP starting an argument over it. Can't really agree with those saying 'no wonder he has jealousy issues', like I said in OP, I don't so much as have a male friend because it's easier than dealing with him being paranoid about it.

Just stay split up. You'll be a lot happier in the long run within the next three days when you don't have to deal with him anymore.

You've done all the hard work. Just keep going - it will be worth it.

I don't actually think it matters whether you or anyone on mumsnet agrees that this is cheating.

You have crossed a line that has made your DP feel bad. You knew at the time that it was wrong too, as you said in your original post. I don't think you can excuse this in anyway.

it was just really nice to feel single

That's the point. You felt single, you behaved as if you were single. That's why your partner is feeling as though you cheated. It's not about the actions, it's the attitude.

The relationship is over, isn't it, if you prefer feeling single?

WE WERE ON A BREAAAAAK

No it isn’t cheating in my view. You were having a flirtatious laugh with another man. Inappropriate maybe. However, I can understand why your dp is upset.

Well if you wouldn't have done it right in front of him then it's probably safe to say it was inappropriate.
Sounds like you'd be happier single to be honest.

The more you post the more awful the relationship sounds. Dump him, you'll be much happier single!

You knew it was wrong and did it anyway. You wanted to. Cheaters generally then follow this up by minimising and seeking sympathy.

Dump him - he will ha g this over your head for the next 40 years. And no it’s not cheating. You were on a break.

Of course it’s not cheating

To be honest, whether it was right or wrong, your relationship is at least 50% bad anyway, and why are you settling for that? Your partner is controlling and doesn't like you having male friends, going out...?

Time to call it a night and move on did you get the single guy's phone number

Cheating would have been if you'd had a quickie in the pub car park. Not general flirting in a public place when you are with friends.

I don’t believe this was cheating OP, but I do think you sounded like you had a darned good NYE night out, and I wouldn’t have anyone beating me with a stick over it every opportunity.

I’d personally be calling it a day with the BF.

It doesn’t sound like cheating to me. It does sound like you’d be happier without him.

If he hasn't ended it over this, then you should just end it Put you both out of your misery.

Your last update alone should have you ending things. 50% of the time it's ok ... that's just not a way to spend your life, only happy half the time and miserable the rest.

And when you do enter into another relationship, treat them better when they're not with you. You behaved 'single' on your night out. You weren't, and you knew it.

Yep, the relationship has run its coarse and now its time for closure and for you both to move on from each other.

Sounds like the relationship needs a permanent break if I’m being honest.

Nothing in your posts makes me think this was a grown up mature relationship. Stay split.

You were on a break, so I don’t consider it cheating. I could see why someone seeing it would be upset though.

That aside, your relationship sounds pointless and dreadful. He doesn’t let you go out and you’re unhappy half the time. Let it go and enjoy being single.

I think he is over reacting but he is prone to jealousy anyway. I would move on too if I were you. Enjoy being properly single for a while.

You are focussing on the wrong thing here. You say you enjoyed feeling single and he never lets you go out. Sounds to me like you were kind of dipping your toe in the water of being single and you quite liked it. Do you really want to patch it up with your DP?

Christ if your relationship is so shit people are moving out and having breaks just end it and enjoy being single