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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to open this letter?

41 replies

Lovemusic33 · 05/01/2019 12:46

Ok, I know IABU and it is illegal to open someone else’s post but...

I keep getting post for the ex, he left 2 years ago after being abusuve to me and the police being involved, I have had no contact due to having an injunction out against him. I have been returning his post to sender but have had a sneaky peak of a few letters as I was worried he was running up debt and using my address.

Today a letter has come through the door which looks like a court summons, I have crossed out the address and written ‘not at this address’ and will pop it in the postbox later today but a tiny bit of me wants to open it to see what it’s for, obviously I can’t open it and then send it back as it will be obvious I have opened it. This man caused me and my family so much heartache and hassle and although I no longer have anger towards him I really hope he is in trouble.

AWBU to open?

OP posts:
Amorea · 05/01/2019 12:51

If you open it they'll assume he's received it and it could open a can of worms - more letters, and your ex may guess you've opened them etc, definitely stick it in the post box ASAP.

Baconmaket · 05/01/2019 12:53

Agree you can't actually open it but YADNBU for wanting to.

Original poster
Lovemusic33 · 05/01/2019 12:53

Thanks Amorea that’s exactly what I was thinking, I need to fight off the curiosity and just shove it in the post box.

OP posts:
Howdoyoudoit31 · 05/01/2019 12:55

If it was a court summons I’d open it and call the court direct and say he doesn’t live here.

I’d just say I picked it up and opened it before I even noticed it wasn’t for me. It’s your address and I open all post that comes to my address! I don’t look at the name before I open it as I’m the only adult that lives here

drspouse · 05/01/2019 12:55

If you get anything for "The occupant" you can open that!

KylieJennersTopLip · 05/01/2019 12:56

Mmmmmm curiosity would probably get the better of me in this situation given your past. I'd want to know Blush

I get loads of post for the previous occupiers of my house, I've been here nearly 5 years and I've posted everything back 'not known at this address' and the same companies continue to bombard me with debt letters through the door. It got to a point where I could return 1 letter and receive 3 back clearly stamped with the same debt company.
In the end I opened one, got the number for the company from it and a reference number and called and explained. It eventually stopped but I still get loads of other post from other companies chasing them for debt Hmm

HollowTalk · 05/01/2019 12:57

I'd write "Opened in error - no longer at this address." What can they do?

DontCallMeCharlotte · 05/01/2019 12:57

Yes you can then return it marked "opened in error".

KylieJennersTopLip · 05/01/2019 12:58

Oooo yes great idea do that - and then tell us Grin

derter · 05/01/2019 12:58

Agree with the opened in error part! Let us know!

Original poster
Lovemusic33 · 05/01/2019 12:58

Now I’m twitching. Do I really want to know? I’m guessing he just owes money, if it was anything more serious I’m sure they would know where he lives?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lovemusic33 · 05/01/2019 13:01

It has his business name on it so probably is money related.

It says on the front ‘on her Majesty’s service, immediate action required’.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lovemusic33 · 05/01/2019 13:04

Ok, I have opened it.

Basically he hasn’t filled out any tax returns since he opened the business 3 years ago, it says he has 14 days to sort it or he could be taken to court and will be fine.

Nothing too exciting. I shall post it back and say “opened in error”.

OP posts:
Amorea · 05/01/2019 13:04

Oh gosh now I'm teetering.

Amorea · 05/01/2019 13:05

LOL never has a Mumsnet problem been posted, discussed and resolved in one page!

SuchAToDo · 05/01/2019 13:05

Open it, and then call the court and say you opened it in error , as you are the only one living there so all post that comes is for you, so you opened without looking..

Open it, and then update us Grin

recklessruby · 05/01/2019 13:05

Open it OP or you'll be worrying about it.
Immediate action required sounds like he owes money and you don't want bailiffs turning up at your house and the hassle of proving all your things belong to you.

Villanellesproudmum · 05/01/2019 13:06

I’d open it as I wouldn’t want the potential of bailiffs turning up at the door, put it in a new envelope with a letter explaining he is no longer living at the address and sent it recorded delivery.

WalkingInTheAir13 · 05/01/2019 13:09

What did the “sneaky peaks” reveal, if anything?

Agree with “opened in error” if you are worried.

I have done this with neighbours’ letters over the years when I haven’t properly looked at the name. But genuinely in error - I have no interest in their mail!

WalkingInTheAir13 · 05/01/2019 13:10

Cross post, obviously

QueenOfTheCroneAge · 05/01/2019 13:10

Yep, now you've opened it go with Villanellesproudmums suggestion and return it recorded delivery.

BrokenWing · 05/01/2019 13:11

12:46 AWBU to open?
13:04 Ok I've opened it!

Next time OP you need to build it up a bit over several hours with lots of drip feeds to whip up a frenzy of anticipation!!!!

Original poster
Lovemusic33 · 05/01/2019 13:12

It’s opened (see above).

I think I will phone them Monday and say he doesn’t live here, I have sent any other post with his business on back to sender so I’m not sure why they have sent this here. I still get post for his business accounts come her, he has not been trading as all his accounts are empty (nothing going in or out). As far as I can make out he doesn’t owe anything but he could get fined for not telling them he is no longer trading?

A small part of me (ok, a big part of me) hopes he is buried in a deep hole which is why he’s no longer trading. I had issues with tax credits when he left and they have never been able to track him down. I can only hope 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Lovemusic33 · 05/01/2019 13:13

Sorry for not building it up more 🤣 and sorry it wasn’t a more exciting outcome.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 05/01/2019 13:14

Could you quickly ring the number on letter first and tell them his current address? Just to be super helpful? Wink

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