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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to open this letter?

41 replies

Lovemusic33 · 05/01/2019 12:46

Ok, I know IABU and it is illegal to open someone else’s post but...

I keep getting post for the ex, he left 2 years ago after being abusuve to me and the police being involved, I have had no contact due to having an injunction out against him. I have been returning his post to sender but have had a sneaky peak of a few letters as I was worried he was running up debt and using my address.

Today a letter has come through the door which looks like a court summons, I have crossed out the address and written ‘not at this address’ and will pop it in the postbox later today but a tiny bit of me wants to open it to see what it’s for, obviously I can’t open it and then send it back as it will be obvious I have opened it. This man caused me and my family so much heartache and hassle and although I no longer have anger towards him I really hope he is in trouble.

AWBU to open?

OP posts:

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 05/01/2019 13:17

Opening in error isn't a good idea. I know it's too late for OP now but I actually opened something in error once, sent it back explaining, and they didn't believe he wasn't here because it'd been opened. It made the process a lot harder because it took them a long time to agree to pursue him at the address he was actually living at, even though I provided it and he was on the electoral register there.

HollowTalk · 05/01/2019 13:22

But that's just stupid, Anchor! There was proof he lived elsewhere. It's very easy to open a letter without looking at the addressee.

Drum2018 · 05/01/2019 13:22

At this stage I'd burn it and if it's ever queried by him or revenue just say you always just write return to sender on his post. You wouldn't know who post was from, so cannot state if a letter from revenue was received or not.

Villanellesproudmum · 05/01/2019 13:23

They are vicious persuing money, it’ll be fines plus interest. I’d let them know as soon as you can, you’ll likely need to prove it but if you’ve been through the tax credit process you’re probably already aware of how to do that. What a pain for you.

HeebieJeebies456 · 05/01/2019 13:26

You can steam open the flap, just hold it above your kettle steam then after glue it back down.

umpteenpinecones · 05/01/2019 13:27

Just send it back saying opened in error, not at this address. If you contact them, they will find out that you and he were connected, and you don't want anyone to start chasing you for his debts, do you?

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 05/01/2019 13:37

Yes, strictly speaking it's illegal to open someone else's mail, but if you suspect debts are being run up, let alone summonses, and you have no address to forward to, what are you supposed to do?

Speaking from experience, simply writing 'return to sender' or 'no longer at this address' doesn't stop the mail coming - I tried.

I had bought a flat where the previous owner had left no forwarding address and was believed to have returned to his country of origin.

I very quickly found that he hadn't paid any utility bills for some time.
Then the mail started coming, masses of it. Started by returning to sender etc, but since that didn't work I began opening it - I did not want bailiffs coming round!

There were loads of debts - credit cards, phone, loans, parking fines, you name it - at least £20k in total.

I wrote to or phoned all the creditors, explaining the situation - he was evidently thousands of miles away and had left no address.

They were all entirely reasonable. I just had to write to each - around a dozen - with a copy of my council tax bill.
The mail then finally stopped.

LostInShoebiz · 05/01/2019 13:44

If you get anything for "The occupant" you can open that!

Then it would be OP’s own mail and I think she knows she can open that.

LittleMissCantbebothered · 05/01/2019 13:46

It's not illegal to open post that is addressed to someone else - I have no idea why this is such a common belief!

It's illegal to open it with the purpose of using it for something illegal, such a fraud, if theft, etc etc.

Opening it, before returning it isn't a problem.

Santaisfastasleepatlast · 05/01/2019 13:50

I opened exh's post and gave those owed his new address!
Wasn't having bailiffs at my door!

TheFuckfaceWhisperer · 05/01/2019 13:55

I would definitely open it, contact the senders and say you opened it assuming it was yours as ex hasn’t lived there for two years and give them his new address if you have it (I did this when I kept getting fines for my ex at my address from NHS as he was fraudulently ticking boxes on his prescriptions when he wasn’t on benefits, they were fine and didn’t get another one)

tillytrotter1 · 05/01/2019 14:41

Contact the tax office and inform them that he does not live at your address and any use of your address by him is fraudulent. You need to cover yourself because of any future court actions.

DogInATent · 05/01/2019 14:59

Before you do anything else. Is it a Limited company? - if so, check on Companies House what the registered address is because you may need to take more action beyond just returning the letter.

You search here:
beta.companieshouse.gov.uk/search/companies

arranbubonicplague · 05/01/2019 14:59

Nothing too exciting.

Have you ensured that he's no longer on the electoral register or anything else for your address? You don't need him to have an adverse impact on your credit rating as it can be a mess for any job-related background checks.

MiniMum97 · 05/01/2019 15:00

I agree. I'd open it and call the court/debt collectors or whoever. It's more important that you protect yourself than worry about opening his post. As previous posters say just say you opened it without checking the name on the front (which is what I do anyway, I just open everything for the household here).

I've done this before with a debt collection letter and received no further communications about it. The fact I opened the post was not questioned. Probably helped by my slightly outraged tone that someone was obviously using my address illegally.

Original poster

Lovemusic33 · 05/01/2019 16:23

He’s not on the electoral role at this address, all I receive is his post related to the business he started using my address, I no longer receive post from his personal accounts, he has a bank account linked to the business and I have opened letter in the last to check if he has used the business account (he hasn’t and is in no debt with the business), so it seems he has not continued with the business which is a bit odd.

When he first left he tried to take out loans using my address as he left with nothing (he never had anything and only lived here a year so finances were separate and house is in my name), all loans and credit cards were refused as I called most of them and told them he does not live at this address and does not have a income.

As far as I am aware he is alive but I have no idea where he is.

I open a letter occasionally to check if he has used the business account but it has now been 2 years with nothing going on or out.

I hope he is tracked down and I hope he gets fined for not contacting HMRC to say he is no longer trading. The company is not a limited company.

OP posts:

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