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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if height matters to you?

88 replies

Bananafritter · 04/01/2019 22:23

Just that really!

A friend was taking a picture of DP and I at a NY party and told me to “bend my knees a bit” as we looked the same height!

He is only about an inch taller than me (he’s about average height, I’m quite tall) which doesn’t bother me at all but I was just wondering if any women still cared much about their DP’s being taller than them?

I think it’s a funny thing to bother about really but everyone has their preferences I suppose

OP posts:

MsTSwift · 05/01/2019 00:38

I don’t mind if a man is similar height (am 5 6) or abit shorter as long as quite masculine. Frankly would prefer a shorter rugby player build than a tall skinny wispy type of man. Academic though as happily married to a 6 ft 2 well built dh so happy days

Schmoobarb · 05/01/2019 00:41

I’m 5 ft 7, I quite like it though I’d love to be taller. My husband is 5 ft 9 ish and I’m always telling him and the kids I’m actually taller than him given I’m taller in relation to my sex than he is to his.

calmsealife · 05/01/2019 00:44

I'm tall so height is definitely a big thing for me.

TheVoiceOfRaisin · 05/01/2019 00:52

Going by the profiles on POF/Match it seems that many women don't like dating shorter guys.

I've no issue with people having personal preferences but I've always found it a bit of double standard that guys are seen as insensitive when saying 'I'm not interested in fat women', especially as height can't be altered.

stopgap · 05/01/2019 00:58

It is a double standard, but these things are ingrained. My (short) husband isn’t attracted to women over size 10. Maybe because he wants to have the bigger frame—just as several women upthread have stated they feel self conscious being with a man of a smaller build than theirs.

ThanksForAllTheFish · 05/01/2019 01:05

Height is never been an issue for me. I would think my height or taller would be preferable but if I really liked someone then I don’t think them being a bit shorter than me would be a deciding factor.

I’m 5ft6 and DH is 5ft8 so not that much taller than me. It’s not something I ever really thought about to be honest. I have noticed a couple of times when I’ve got on my chunky soled boots we are the same height but it’s not an issue. He is generally a smaller framed person, he’s not what I would call broad shouldered and his jeans are a 29 inch waist. Hes the sort of person that eats whatever he wants, snacks constantly, eats chocolate drinks beer etc and never puts on any weight. I’m not so lucky in that respect!

My ex’s were probably all around 6ft or there abouts thinking back. Definitely taller than DH but not giants.

I do remember my cousin saying she had to pick out small heels for her wedding day as her (now) DH didn’t want her to be taller than him in the wedding photos. I suppose I understand that as he is taller than her - just not by much. He’s about the same height as me and my cousin is 5ft4.

brizzledrizzle · 05/01/2019 01:09

I'm tall because I kept growing until I was about eighteen, small people get under my feet so I prefer taller people 😂

Notacluethisxmas · 05/01/2019 01:27

It's an issue for me

I am 5ft 9. My ex husband was shorter by an inch. It fuelled his insecurities. He made my life miserable.

My now DP is 6ft 4in. I didn't purposely pick someone tall, but shorter men make me think if my exh and it puts me right off

TheVoiceOfRaisin · 05/01/2019 01:30

Poodle syndrome is a real thing IMO, although obv plenty of shorter men aren't insecure and get by just fine.

Futureisland · 05/01/2019 01:42

Sorry but yes. My dad was short and very shouty / unreasonable. Ive had a few managers in my time who have been short men....typically they were angry little men. I'm a bit of a believer in short man syndrome.

I know this is unreasonable and I'm sure there's plenty of lovely shorter men but its just a thing for me.

I find height attractive in a man. My husband is a good bit taller than me.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 05/01/2019 01:44

I'm short and have always fancied taller men. On a practical level it is perfect that DH is tall, because he can reach into the cupboard above the oven that I can't reach without a step stool, so we complement each other. I don't think I would rule out a shorter man, because most of my family are short (my dad is 5'7") and I don't feel like a midget when I'm back home, but it just so happens that I've only been attracted to men 5'10" and over.

OldGreyBoots · 05/01/2019 03:48

I can't tell if I have no preference or I actively prefer shorter men! I'm 5'9 and could stand to lose some weight, DP is 5'6ish and very slim. I find him utterly gorgeous, and while I occasionally feel insecure that I'll always be the bigger one in the relationship, he makes me feel good about myself. He is insecure about his height, but I wouldn't change him for the world, nor he me

caesio · 05/01/2019 06:32

"....typically they were angry little men. I'm a bit of a believer in short man syndrome. "

Is it a wonder they end up angry when they get the kind of shit spouted in this thread to their faces all their lives! They can't do anything about their height. They might even be real people with feelings and personality.

I am 5'7" and my husband is 5'2". I don't need to feel protected by my man. At 5'7" I'm not going to be a waif next to anyone. I wear heels or not as I want. I met him at work and I'm glad I met him before all this stuff about online dating and height filters.

I previously went out with a 6'6" rugby-forward built guy and that was more logistically difficult so hats off to the PP who have more than a foot of height difference!

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