To not be pressured in to drinking alcohol?

[loolooskip]

I've been a pretty heavy drinker since I was about 16. I'm now in my 40's and after an incident this Christmas I've given up drinking.

DH and I both drank too much. I've wanted to give up a few times but he's not been on board.

Now he is for many reasons so that's great.

But whenever we go out or see friends we're getting either ridiculed for being ott and ridiculous and encouraged to 'go on have one, it won't hurt' or getting sneery 'it won't last' comments.

We're telling people 'we were drinking too much. We don't want to anymore' but that's not seeming to shut people up. I really don't want to start telling everyone in sundry we have a drink problem but that seems to be the only way not to have people waving sodding wine or gin under our noses.

Oh, and the amount of people who are insisting I must be pregnant is as we're not able to have another child and trying to deal with that too.

Anybody else been in this boat and how did they deal with it? It's not as easy as going to new places or getting new friends, we live very remotely.

I wonder do you live in the Highlands or a Scottish island? The drinking culture is really fierce there.

Good for you in trying to stop, but I think you are probably making other people think about their own drinking habits and they don't like it

My partner and I don't drink at all but we still received wine and spirits for Christmas presents from people who know we're teetotal.
The under stairs cupboard is groaning with booze which we will over the course of the year donate as raffle prizes to one or other of the local clubs.

I wonder do you live in the Highlands or a Scottish island? The drinking culture is really fierce there.

And big problems with alcoholism.

Oh it pisses me off as well. Irarely drink and even that rarity is becoming less and less. I remember not that long ago being outed as a homosexual in a bar because i dared to order a half pint of beer! Apparently it wasnt a "mans" drink. I inquired of the very attractive lady behind the bar as to whether she sold many half pints and apparently it was common...laughable really. If i came in with some foil and some heroin and tried to force it on people they would recoil in horror.

I had this at ILs at Xmas, they are not massive drinker but I usually get a "WHAAAT?!?!" when I ask them for a water with my dinner. Don't want to broadcast it but it's due to bladder problems unfortunately.

i dont drink when pushed at new work why i lied said i was a sober alcoholic that shut them up

I gave up drinking in my mid -20s and I am totally fine with saying that I don't drink. It's such a waste of money when you think about it. I would never drink again... several of my friends are now the same. I think it's sad people put so much emphasis on drink and fun.

I haven’t had a drink for about ten years. People still try and force it on me. Just say you’d rather not. If they still insist, they aren’t really friends.

Firstly, well done on giving up drinking OP.

It really does baffle me how people can't have a good time without a drink . Just hold your ground and stick with it, your 'friends' will will give up on making sneery comments eventually.

The money. We worked out we were spending about £150 a WEEK on booze. (It's expensive where we live.)

I do live on an island. Not in Scotland though.

I don't drink, it's something my friends simply accept, I can have fun without alcohol.

I gave up drinking years ago. It used to really annoy me when people kept probing why I didn't drink etc and someone once said to me it won't bother me so much when I get more comfortable with it myself. She was right. Now I am comfortable with it no one ever asks me !! It's usually the ones who feel they drink too much who go on about it the most as a PP said. They feel you are making some commentary on their own drinking which of course you are not.

To be honest I feel like I can be such a fucking idiot when I drink they'd be glad!

Well done OP.

wow OP
I'm not much of a drinker and got lots of comments at uni and in my 20s in some heavy drinking companies/jobs....but this is so full on, what you're saying, with your DC teachers commenting...

I'd be tempted to lie, say you were ill and had liver function tests that came back with scary results. Apart from anything else, it would be fun to see the looks on their faces!!

NewYorkDoll3 I have seen this scenario before. I think it is down to you and your friends not really having anything in common other than alcohol.
Take the alcohol away and you haven't got anything to talk about.

If you are still drinking when you meet up then that makes it doubly hard to have a conversation with someone.

Have you read Jack Munroe's article this weekend about this? She has given up too. It's very good reading!

But basically people who do that are not your friends. Don't expect to want to keep them in your life long term (unless they change!).

Friends like the one who made you the mock tail though 🙌🏻

I stoppped drinking a few years ago as I realised that alcohol simply didn't agree with me... I've NEVER been pressured into drinking. It's MY choice - why should i drink to make someone else feel more comfortable because THEY choose to drink??

When people 'persist'/start questioning me - I simply say "I don't drink because I don't like the effect/after effects and it makes me feel rubbish - so why WOULD i drink" And another one "don't you feel better/as if you're having more fun with a drink" Ermmm NO... i don't NEED to have a drink to feel 'happy' as I'm not dependant on alcohol.

Well done, seriously. I think it's what others have already said, it makes other people confront their own drinking, it suddenly hits them in the face that drinking isn't just this fun, lighthearted thing to do, and also it makes people nervous as alcohol oils the social wheels and maybe they'd feel lost without the help of it.

I find it odd about the 'boring' comment aswell. None of my friends care if people are drinking a lot, a little, none. Doing dry January, driving, or whatever. I vary from drinking tonnes, to one, to nothing. No one seems to even notice.

It can be very hard, I think maybe you have to cut down on the socialising a bit until you feel more confident in your decision and your ability to withstand these kinds of comments.
Not easy given where you live.
I don't drink because of severe migraines and have in the past run the gauntlet of all this nonsense.
My dad is the worst and still tries to get me to drink when I gave up about 5 years ago.
My auntie was wittering at me in summer and couldn't understand why I wasn't totally gutted about not having a glass of wine. She honestly looked at me like I was an alien or something.
It is really interesting how people seem to be so bothered by you not drinking.
I don't mind other people drinking, I don't judge or take the piss the next day about how lairy they were. I don't gossip about things that happen or sneer at anyone. It's exhausting having to justify it sometimes. Thankfully for me my friends are used to it now and I get less of this kind of crap.
Good luck OP, I'm sure you will get there and you are definitely doing something good for your health.