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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder how you structure your evening?

99 replies

Krakant · 04/01/2019 14:13

When you're working full time with kids, but no money to outsource tasks, when do you get housework done? When do you get them to do homework? When do you play?

I'm only just starting to tame the house after Christmas and with the kids going back to school, I've realised that I've no idea how everyone else structures their time to get it all done - I'd love to know what a typical evening looks like for you.

OP posts:

AtSea1979 · 06/01/2019 09:03

@MyOtherProfile ah ok I just looked on google and it mentioned US a lot. Didn’t seem to mention UK and talked about international qualifications rather than GCSEs and A levels.

MyOtherProfile · 06/01/2019 09:13

The IB started in Europe and the qualification itself is an alternative to A levels. Baccalaureates are mostly done around Europe (It's the end of school qualification in France for example) which is what the IB is based on and spread further around the world. There is also a European baccalaureate for the end of the European schools.
It's a really interesting concept and we are very impressed with it.

thegrumpallo · 06/01/2019 09:35

Hats off to everyone who manages without outsourcing... I'm fortunate to currently have a wonderful cleaner once a week, but even so I have to consciously keep on top of housework ( esp laundry) every day too.
My children do virtually nothing ( 'tidy' their own rooms, sort their
Iaundry, dishes in DW)... this will have to change because I'm sure we will be without our cleaner soon, as she moves on to other things.
Btw, to a PP who said homework starts from yr9: my eldest was totally inundated from yr 7...

TipseyTorvey · 06/01/2019 10:54

I spent a bit of time yesterday looking at The Organised Mum website but although she's got three boys she seems to only work part time? Has anyone managed her routine working FT? She also seems to have a tonne more energy than me! I think I'll give it a go though. Sick of spending all Saturday scrubbing and swearing 😂

wentmadinthecountry · 06/01/2019 11:08

Tipsey, I'm going to give it a go too. I work full time, only 1 child at home but dh counts as 3 as he makes so much mess and hoards stuff!

Don't quite see it fitting in with any kind of social life though. I also lack energy now I'm fully into middle age.

TipseyTorvey · 06/01/2019 11:24

@wentmadinthecountry okay lets try this together then 😀. Agree on the middle aged part though - she looks a bit younger doesn't she? By 8pm I'm shattered but have agreed with DH that whilst he does bathtime for DC2 I will spend that half hour whizzing about instead of clutching a wine on the sofa mumsnetting.

Flannelled · 06/01/2019 11:34

I don't keep on top of it.

I'm going to try keeping on top of priorities eg washing, the kitchen, the dining table (aka dumping ground) rather than trying and failing to keep on top of everything and see how that works.

There is that saying that if something is important to you, you find a way to do it. I sort of agree with that. The problem Is, having spotless windows just isn't on my happy was radar.

wentmadinthecountry · 06/01/2019 18:36

tipsey stepping away from the wine and computer may well be a good start!

Day 1 tomorrow and I'm off to the cinema with friends. On a school night too!! Ah well. My intentions are good and at least the sitting room is already tidy(ish).

danadas · 06/01/2019 19:42

We also opt out of homework when our children are primary aged.

Housework I am not on top of as I would like to be. Hoping to have a good declutter and get that sorted once and for all.

I then plan our week on a Sunday - 2 days I work from home, 2 days in the office and 1 long day commuting when I do sod all housework/cooking wise. So I just figure out what days I am doing what depending on clubs/trips/etc

Imustbemad00 · 06/01/2019 19:58

I don’t do homework either. My child is in year one. Has had homework since nursery, flgradually more each year. Now in year one it’s quite a lot.

I just explain to the teacher it’s something we struggle with, it really stresses my child, I don’t want to force my child and make learning a negative experience. Teachers have all been fine about it. They still give it to us and it will get done occasionally if my child asks to do it. Maybe I’ll enforce it a bit more once they move to key stage 2 but at this age it’s really not important.

The amount of parents on the school WhatsApp group stressing about homework amazes me. They genuinely think they’re children will suffer or be behind if they don’t do it.

The teachers know it’s ridiculous to give 5 year olds homework. It’s not their decision.

FrenchyQ · 06/01/2019 21:09

I struggle to keep on top of it... we both work full time but he does about 80/90 hours a week (he works from home). Kids are old enough to help out but dont (daughter does her own washing but thats it).
I looked at the organised mum thing but id have to do the messy house boot camp first and theres no way i could fit it in after working all day!
So i'm scraping by doing the minimum in the week and spending most of my weekend cleaning

dementedma · 06/01/2019 21:21

Gosh this thread reminds e of when mine were little ( 3DCs, both DH and i worked F/T, no money for outsourcing) and is yet another example of why life gets so much better when your kids are grown up. I get home at 6pm and cook dinner, or DH has cooked it depending on his shift. Then dishes get done and.....that's it.
DS (17) deals with his own homework. I might put washing on..but usually not. We don't do nearly as many loads as people seem to on here. Evenings are spent reading, on MN, going for a walk ....occasonal taxi duty for DS if he is playing in a show but now some of his friends can drive he often gets a lift. Bliss.

AngelinaDelight · 06/01/2019 22:13

Flannelled same - I don't keep on top of the cleaning. Single mum and work full-time, tho I work from home which helps a lot as I can take a ten min break from work to throw on a load of laundry, hang it out etc. Think my 9 yr old DS is an angel as he loves to cook and can competently make 3 or 4 different dinners now without supervision whilst I keep working some week nights. The DCs have swimming, soccer, and 2 x music lessons so on some nights homework is done early and on other nights it is done later...I use the slow cooker a lot on those eves so hot food is ready as soon as we get in, and I do a 10-20 min tidy with the DCs every evening. Have got a dishwasher for the first time this year and this is a huge help!

Stompythedinosaur · 06/01/2019 22:35

I like to structure my evening by rushing back from work for 6.30pm, rush through spellings, times tables and piano practice, then chuck the dc into bed (do reading at bedtime). Then doing housework until about 9pm when I either watch tv with dp or go to bed!

wentmadinthecountry · 07/01/2019 00:02

Do none of you ever go out in the week? Think I'd get very bored with home/chores/bed.

2019HereWeCome · 07/01/2019 00:45

wentmadinthecountry
Do none of you ever go out in the week? Think I'd get very bored with home/chores/bed.
Just once a week usually. Dh goes out on another night.

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 07/01/2019 00:53

I clean for a maximum of half an hour a day. That's everything, laundry etc. None at the weekends. My house is pretty reasonably clean, but we have zero clutter. I mean nothing. We are fucking ruthless.

I get back at 4 (early start), husband back at 8 which sucks as it feels like the evening is over really quickly and my daughter is in bed when he gets home.

I do half an hour cleaning, pick up my daughter from daycare, feed her, play with her, take the dog out, put dinner on then put her to bed, and study/relax til my husband gets back.

We eat, he washes up, we usually watch a bit of TV or take the dog for a longer walk, then go to bed by 11 at the latest.

Passes too quickly but we have the whole weekend where we do whatever we like.

Peachesandcream30 · 07/01/2019 06:54

I don't think a no homework policy would work for everyone. I am a teacher and I know that at our school there is definitely no option for this sort of thing. I suppose maybe some schools are more lenient, especially if it's a primary school, even more so for a private primary school, and if the child is very young. I'd imagine it's as simple as going in to chat with your child's teacher and just letting them know that you've made the decision for your DC to not do homework, and explaining why, so the teacher knows that this was a deliberate move.

00100001 · 07/01/2019 11:17

it's all a moot point about the "opting out" of homework really - as tomatoes son does homework...

TipseyTorvey · 07/01/2019 14:46

Slightly off topic but my favourite labour saving device is my little robot hoover thing. Not a roomba as that was too pricey but got a cheaper version from amazon and love him. I set him off in a room just before I'm due to clean it and he picks up the high level crap and cat hair for me so I can mop really fast. I'm angling for the mop version for my birthday (how sad I know).

FrenchyQ · 07/01/2019 15:43

TipseyTorvey my husband has been angling for a robot hoover for awhile and have said no, are they actually any good? (he wants the mopping version)

ChanklyBore · 07/01/2019 15:54

We work full time and don’t outsource.

But I don’t work 9-5 or have weekends off, so how I structure my evenings and weekends probably wouldn’t translate to yours.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 07/01/2019 17:14

I just looked at the organised mum thing out of curiosity. Some of her jobs seem a tad...superfluous. Clean crumbs out of the toaster? Clean the cutlery drawer? Who cares.

RosemarysBabyDress · 07/01/2019 17:26

Clean the cutlery drawer? Who cares

I do... pop the whole lot in the dishwasher twice a year (the tray and content, not the actual drawer), takes all of 45 seconds max. I like a clean and tidy house, but don't spend much time doing it!

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