To wonder how you structure your evening?

[Krakant]

When you're working full time with kids, but no money to outsource tasks, when do you get housework done? When do you get them to do homework? When do you play?

I'm only just starting to tame the house after Christmas and with the kids going back to school, I've realised that I've no idea how everyone else structures their time to get it all done - I'd love to know what a typical evening looks like for you.

@tomatoesand I would like to know about the no homework policy too. I am really against homework being given to primary school children. I would love to hear about your experiences.

(I think maybe you thought TT was being an ass because she used the word Malarky? I think she was trying to be lighthearted and jaunty, not rude or attacking).

There's quite a few of us here who are genuinely interested in what you do, if you would like to share....

But tomato's son doesn't 'opt out' he does his homework, just seems to do it at school?

i don't see how he will have enough time during school when he starts getting further into his international baccalaureate?

We had a no homework policy through most of Primary School (though we did read and practise tables) introduced it in year 6 with a piece a week so that comp didn’t come as a shock. As a teacher myself I hate setting homework and instead at our school we have implemented a suggested task grid where children and their families can select things to do.
Someone upthread suggested homework was used as assessment and though I don’t know the school I would be very surprised if this was the case as it would be too difficult to judge how much of the work was independent.

As to the structuring the day I started doing the TOMM method just before Christmas and it’s really had a massive impact on our house. It feels so much tidier and organised but I feel like I’m doing less if that makes sense. My next job is to get my boys (12 and16) onboard as they are lazy buggers and I have definitely spoilt them by doing everything for them !

Make packed lunches the night before.
Clean once a week.
Vac downstairs twice a week and clean up kitchen after each meal.
Load and switch on dishwasher before bed, empty it while waiting for kettle to boil in morning.
Pull back duvets when you get up to air bed, then make bed before leaving for work.
I do a few washing loads at the weekend, Iron on a Sunday night.
Basically, put things away and general tidying is just something I do when I'm walking round the house!

Teens strip their beds and remake them once a fortnight and I don't clean their rooms, they do when the rug gets too much.

fug not rug

DC are old enough to organised their own HW and they do. When they were younger they would do it while I made dinner.

I think the key things from what other have mentioned seem to be:

1. children have to help. Most children can do something according to age. At 4 years i would expect all shoes, dirty laundry put in correct place, no picking up after them. Plus them to start putting clean laundry away in their drawers, bed made (4 year old style), toys tidied away before dinner (maybe give them a 10 min slot before dinner to do this). they also get uniform ready for the next day, shoes in correct place and homework back in bag, not all on you.

2. get up 20 mins earlier than you currently do, and get one additional thing done, so its not all left to evening or weekend

3. partner if you have does the same as you

Also I don't think you need to put pressure on yourself to play 'WITH your DC every evening. I don't remember making time to do that in a formal way. Chatting all the time while I was doing things but apart from at bath time and a bedtime story, they played by themselves with each other.

5.30 am up , wash dressed and toddler to.
Make sure things put back in the right place .
6.30 Leave house drive to My mums drop off toddler

Rush 20 mins drive to go and turn my two elderly horses out ( same for the last 21 years 😑😑 i really do love them 😂)

Go to work

5pm leave work drive to stables
Muck out , hay, waters , feeds, rugs, groom bring them in put pyjamas on.

6.30 get son have dinner when home usually slow cooker meal :)

Play and play
7.30 bathtime, story and bed
8pm half hour housework everything has a place so it is all tidy in half hour and a quick hoover . I do a different room each night.

8.30 shower and clean shower while in there, and the glass sprayed wiped etc.
Toilet and sink wiped round

9pm sit and chill! Oh load washing and time for 10pm start wake up put it out to dry.

10pm ISH ..... BED

My partner helps too but he is pretty slow so i get it done quicker myself 😂 xx

Its so hard but organise , plan and plan again! .

Partner gets the bin left by front door for him as a treat to put out everynight 😄

My kids are older but it's still hard. I plan, organise and make lists relentlessly. Following the organised Mum method works but there are some days when finding 30 minutes is a battle.

Doing cleaning little and often is essential, trying to keep clutter to a minimum, keeping on top of laundry, using the slow cooker and batch cooking, making everyone do their bit.

There are some evenings where I barely sit down but I have to be in bed for 10.30pm to be able to get up at 6.

I get up half an hour earlier than I know I need to to do stuff, I load a wash the night before and set the timer on the machine. My main rule has always been packed lunches made the night before and a ten min tidy up before bed - especially the lounge. I also get the breakfast things out (I even put tea bags in the mugs). We only have one DD (15 in April) but when she was little it made a huge difference. Plus we ate easy meals after work on weeknights so we’d have that extra time for play/read before bed. By easy I mean frozen (cooked) jacket potatoes with some bagged salad and a cooked chicken from M and S for tea, that sort of thing. Even now I’m very firm the kitchen also being wiped down and swept through before bed. It makes coming home to a tidy house at the end of the working day much nicer.

Up at 6:30, get ready and make kids lunches, get kids up at 7. Empty dishwasher, tidy, ensure kids are up & eating breakfast & have fed pets, leave for work at 7:30. Kids are 16 & 12 and get themselves off to school. Home at 5:45, 3 nights a week take DS for sport which can take until 8:30. Cooking has to be really quick, often cook several things on Sundays to use in the week. Kids are helpful too, & get homework done before I get home and feed pets and clean them out. Try to do a wash most nights. Cleaning mainly on Thursdays when I work from home and so have a few extra hours as I don’t have to do the commute. Bed about 10:30, kids are fine about going to bed at a sensible time but I do still read to DD as we now enjoy similar books which makes it fun. Hard work but doable, & I now have the holy grail in sight (DS passing his driving test and taking himself to and from sport, he’ll be 17 soon!).

Breakfast club gives the children breakfast. After school club feeds them dinner.

Husband makes all the meals
I do tge ironing
We tidy as we go along. Me more. I clean on my day off without the children.

Kids dont do out of school clubs atm apart from one mil deals with.

Evenings are netflix for me and dh. Some nights we work in the evenings. Fucking jobs.

Re: no homework

Maybe Tomatoes has had to deal with a lot of people casting judgment or something and therefore made the mistake of reading it as ‘arsey’ when it really doesn’t read that way (I don’t think.. and not do others it seems)

I would be interested to know if their philosophy behind it or any studies. I’m also very curious and the amount my child has to do does not sit comfortablly with me

DH has returned to work recently after 5 years as a SAHD so I now have to do lots more than I did!! I m usually home from work between 5 and 6 after collecting the kids from afterschool club, cook for all of us, stick a wash on, wash up, iron anything from last load of washing etc.

Kids go to bed at 9 then I work from then til anything between 12 and 2am. One day a week I get home for 3ish and blitz the house in 2 to 3 hours. DH will clean again one of the weekend days. If I m out working later he sorts dinner. Dd organises her own homework (year 6) ds has a sheet for maths and one for English due on a Friday. He does it on a Thursday night, it doesn't take long. They read independently and we don't do much in the way of organised group activities (their choice) ds has footie training on a Thursday night and a match on a Saturday morning and we do a family thing every Tuesday usually cinema or trampolining. I usually food shop with DD Saturday morning after dropping DH and DS at footie.

I m dropping work on a Friday now so that's going to be my day for shopping and cleaning and paperwork so I can get to bed a bit earlier!! I don't have any time to myself most evenings but I don't do any house stuff at the weekends, thats for fun with the kids. We go out after footie Saturday and all day Sunday!

What’s IB?

We usually get home around 5pm. I cook dinner whilst DC change, unpack lunch bags, repack school bags and get out books for homework after dinner. We eat, they do homework and barely seem to get time to watch tv, play etc.

Off topic but my kids go to an IB school and there's a minimal homework policy - they have reduced and reduced and are considering going total no homework. I love it. It is all based on various bits of research but I haven't looked into it too closely.
Primary homework should be just reading, tables and spelling. I'm not sure secondary should be any more than that.

@AtSea1979 IB is the International Baccalaureate

Ah so it’s a private school in America?

Opting out of homework at primary school: I wrote a letter saying that we wouldn't be doing homework other than phonics and reading. I wrote down what activities and hobbies/play that was done out of school. The school had no problem with it. (Teachers at primary level give homework because senior management tells them to and that is because parents expect it and complain if it's not given!

i work 9.30-5. DP does 3 days where he's home with the kids from 4. I do every drop off and every 'morning'. We split cooking, whoever cooks cleans the kitchen. The bathrooms are mine, the bins are his.
We do a 'one hour whizz' once a week. Which stops the worse of the shit piling up, have a chat on a sunday morning where we look at what's coming that week and buy presents/ arrange who's going where and when and how that works.This includes travel for work, and nights out and activities for kids and for adults. It's all in writing and on phones so nobody can cock it up.
Kids are only responsible for emptying their bags and handing over letters and putting coats in cloakroom, shoes on shoe rack.
I have an ocado delivery twice a week, and once a month we have a cleaner who does windows/skirting boards/ oven.
I read on here years ago this tip so I shall share it - I send the towels and bedding out weekly to a laundrette and they come back washed / dried and folded. Which saves me doing it. it's £10 for a black bag, and saves the house looking like a laundry.

Ah so it’s a private school in America?

What? Where do you get that from @AtSea1979 ? There are quite a few IB state schools in the UK. My kids go to one.