To ask what the strangest thing is that you've seen in a family home/life...

[purpleworms]

...that to them was completely normal?

I have just seen someone asked this on an AMA on their Instagram. Their reply was walking around fully naked in front of parents/siblings/any family members.

While this is obviously okay for some, if it happened in a home I was visiting I'd be but that's just because it's not the norm in my family.

I'm racking my brains but I don't think I've ever noticed anything! But people have such different ways/customs within their home lives and routines. We all regard our own as normal without ever really knowing if what's normal to us is strange to others!

My DP relies on lip reading, so big light is always on here.

There are so many of the things on this thread that remind me of my childhood.
Particularly my mum doing literally everything for my dad. He never moved from his armchair, just sat there smoking 60 fags a day and telling us all what to do when.

We always had to go upstairs at 8pm every night at which point dad would swing his armchair around in front of the telly. If you were brave enough to face the aggro you would be left trying to watch the telly over his greasy head and a huge cloud of smoke. Once we were safely in our rooms he would watch porn. 🤢

He 'redecorated' the whole of mums little council house in 'fablon' which is a wipe clean plastic. Including walls, doors, counter tops and cupboard doors. The carpets were left for the dogs to piss on.

Strangers were treated with contempt. We never invited anyone inside... me mostly out of embarrassment. Not least because I'd won a scholarship to a local private school and would have had the piss ripped out of me forever if they could see where I actually lived.

My childhood was pretty grim.

My friends mum used to lay on the sofa munching biscuits. She spat them into a bucket at the side of the sofa rather than swallow them.

My DP relies on lip reading, so big light is always on here.

I need such good light for this that I've had friends complain about the light levels in my house

And other weird things Dad would do...

He was very overweight and rarely bathed. He was consequently very sweaty. He's frequently pick up a tea towel and wipe the sweat and grime from his face before chucking it back in the side so my mother could dry the pots with it. Never bothered me until I saw my friends standard of living and then I was just grossed out.

Sitting at the kitchen counter on a little stool snaffling a big plate of chips out the deep fat fryer whilst the dog licked the sweat running down his back out of his arse crack.

Yes, t'was even grimmer than I first remembered.

The bath stories are reminding me of something my GM told me about when she was posted in Plymouth (I think it was there but she had various postings during her service with the WAFF) during WWII.

She shared a small 2 room billet with 3 other women.

She told me they had lines on the small tin bath. The first one in got 3 inches of clean hot water. The second, a slightly grubby 6 inches of warm water and the latter 9 inches of body temperature sudsy soup.

Needless to say they had a rota...but she said they often didn't care.

Her job was to relay, by radio, commands to the pilots and/or plot positions (not sure if this was at the same time or different roles at different times).

She told me once that when you'd heard the screams of a pilot who'd been shot down in a fireball screaming for his mother/wife/girlfriend/god the temperature of your bath (or who'd been in it before) wasn't something to dwell on - you were just bloody grateful to be alive to be in it.

Sorry - I've buggered up the tone of the thread a bit but I think history like this is worth being remembered.

DeRigueurMortis that's exactly how I feel, the greatest generation are all going now, but I will make sure my kids (and any others that I have an opportunity with) will be taught what has happened and what will happen again if history is allowed to repeat itself. I afford my two every luxury I can, but I'll be damned if they will any form of life for granted.
I hate seeing snotty self entitled people of any age moaning on about this or that, of course with the exception of actual avoidable neglect or abuse...

Here's another (jehovah witness) story for you all.

I used to visit a family who were also witnesses and would host meetings at their home. Afterwards, our family would stay so the kids could play. There was a whole wall of clocks, about 30 which would all kick off at once, donging and cuckooing.

One day the older kids played darts and I wasn't allowed. I sat on the stairs, and the daughter deliberately dropped a dart on me from above, I think she was aiming for my head but it went into my thigh. Not nice. She was always like that, she had lots of expensive toys and I had none at home, she wouldn't let me play with the dolls house, but would encourage me to play with a marionette, then tell her mum and dad I'd tangled it and there would be uproar.

A few years later her mum and dad were disfellowshipped for selling lay line boxes, the mum ran off with a woman, and the dad committed suicide. I sometimes wondered what happened to the daughter.

I've been following this thread all through and I am amazed at some of the things that people find amazing.
I am only 51, so not old, but many things that puzzle people on here were normal when I was growing up in 70s. Not necessarily for my family, but certainly amongst friends and acquaintances.

men sitting and being waited on by women.
shared baths, or taking turns in bathwater
sitting on loo to chat with someone in the bath
weird/abusive families that everyone knows about, but nothing is done
showering/bathing only once a week
baths in kitchens

When I was 16, so in 1980s, we lived next to a large council estate. Very naice, posh southern UK town. Council estate was built either between the wars or just post WW2. Nice houses, large family homes, with decent gardens.
We had a cleaner who lived on the estate, and we were really surprised when she told us one day that the houses were being refurbished, because they had no indoor bathrooms. In the 1980s! So, an outside loo, and everyone washed at the kitchen sink. Tin bath in the kitchen if you wanted a bath. We were just astonished that in this day and age there was still a whole estate with no bathrooms. And that our council (who were rolling in it) had only just got round to doing something about it

The bath thing was normal in the West Ireland also in 1970's .My granny house had no bath and no hot running water and no heating bar a fireplace in the kitchen.The house was on street of council houses all two up /two down.My 3rd cousins lived across the street and there were 13 /14 children .A new baby appeared every year and no body talked about it before its arrival or thereafter.I knew also not to ask what was going on. Just knew that some of the kids slept in my granny's house when we were not there and they had to move out when we visited . My grandmother did not travel so thats why we had to visit her.In the whole street there was one house that had a phone and nobody had a car. Not a long time ago but such a different world.

.A new baby appeared every year and no body talked about it before its arrival or thereafter.I knew also not to ask what was going on

But what was going on? No contraception in Ireland back then I get it, but was there something else?

"Mood lighting" is all very well, but once the reading glasses kick in you need more illumination. I have just purchased one of those mega-bright reading lights. I have to admit, it is a bit bright. But you can read the smallest print when it's beaming down on a book.

I remember some while ago on MN someone posted AIBU about "older people" (and I think they defined this as 50+) liking airing cupboards . They thought it was weird that these so-called old people put their washing in an airing cupboard. I suppose I must be very old as I love my airing cupboard! After some years with a combi-boiler, to have a nice, warm airing cupboard is most welcome. I really didn't know an airing cupboard was akin to a penchant for garden centres and Countdown.

.A new baby appeared every year and no body talked about it before its arrival or thereafter.I knew also not to ask what was going on
*
But what was going on? No contraception in Ireland back then I get it, but was there something else?**

I think a lot of the time in the 'olden days', people didn't make a fuss about having babies or being pregnant. They didn't explain to their children why they had a big belly and just came home one day with a new baby that slotted in.

In the 'olden days' it was also considered rude and crass to tell people or acknowledge that a woman was pregnant in some communities. I remember a teacher telling us that the only way she knew her mother was having a baby was if she didn't collect her from school. She knew that when she got home her mum would be in bed with a newborn. My DM still whispers the word pregnant at times and cannot until this day say breastfeeding. It's always 'she's feeding herself'.

' Nobody talked about it' I have also never really talked to my parents about what went on there as my DM just gets so upset .To me it was all the more strange as we had just moved back to Ireland from abroad and it felt like be catapulted back in time.It is quite obvious to me now that many of these pregnancies were unwanted but contraception was banned by the Catholic Church .I just remember coming home and announcing to my DM and Grandmother that there was another baby across the road and it was just brushed off and I had the feeling i wasn't supposed to talk about it.
Another friend of mine also from a large family only always found out about another sibling when either her DM was missing or she came home from school and a new baby was there.I am 52 years old by the way so its not that long ago really.

I love my airing cupboard. This house and the last both had huge walk in ones and it's what sold me on the houses! I hang damp washing in there, and it's dry in no time.

Same here, evaperonspoodle!

My dm never said "pregnant" or "breastfeeding" either and said the "feeding herself" thing. As a child I never knew anyone was having a baby. It just wasn't mentioned, really (1970s). The very thought of all those "teen mum" reality shows they have on the tv now... my dm would have had a fit of the vapours!

I've never heard of a "walk in" airing cupboard! I'd love one of those. We do have an airing cupboard though, it's where we keep all our bedding and towels.

Yes, my walk in one is chokka with all my bedding, towels etc. But all round the room are hooks and coathangers for hanging washing. (I call it a room, it's not big, just enough to walk in, do what I have to do with washing, turn round in same space and come out!)
In my last house, it was twice the size, but this is fine, love it.

Not acknowledging a pregnancy seems very strange to me, was it superstitious perhaps? So if the baby died then nobody had to explain to the children? Similar to the tradition of not having baby items in the house until the baby was actually born safely. I know that maternity clothing used to be designed to disguise a bump, not like today where most maternity clothing is designed to show it off or accentuate it. And in the 80s and 90s it was a weird in between where it just sort of accommodated it but not in a flattering way at all.

I don't think it was that long ago that sharing bathwater was normal - we def did it in the 90s and it was definitely because an immersion heater doesn't provide enough hot water for multiple people to have fresh water. We still do this at MIL's (we avoid bathing there at all to be fair) - but if we do, we always offer the bathwater around because otherwise nobody else gets a bath.

Modern water heaters can do baths/showers even just with electric now though.

Bertie the way it was explained to me was because it was considered 'unlady like' for a woman to have sex, so congratulating or acknowledging it publicly was an insult. Also when women did not have access to contraception a pregnancy was often something that was loathed rather than celebrated.

@Nikkidoll I’m completely the same about the big light! Can’t stand it being on. I like to have on a couple of lamps and some candles in the winter, so much nicer. My parents sit beneath this glaring bulb in the living room every evening and it’s so un-Cosy I can’t bear it!

No don't think it was superstition at all and I do know that at that time nothing was bought till the baby arrived .Large families were everywhere in Ireland at that time .My paternal Aunt (not the cousin across the road from GM )had 11 kids .They seemed also to just appear but I do remember mutterings in the family about her being is pregnant again ' she shouldn't be having all those kids. ' I of course was not aware at that stage of how babies were made but do think that the men just came home from the pub completely sozzled and 'had their way' with the women . They had no clue either how their bodies functioned .A lot went on behind closed doors and I could write book about what I know now even within my own family .Surprisingly enough all of us cousins are totally normal well adjusted people .Makes you wonder !

When I had my first baby (1975, big town near London) you didn't have the pram at home until the baby came home. You ordered it from one of the big department stores and they kept it until you were ready for it. I expect that was a hangover from the time when people didn't get things in for the baby in case something 'went wrong'.
My mother in law always talked about 'feeding the baby yourself'. Peop!e were 'expecting' not pregnant, and periods were 'do dahs'. When my sister in law was feeding her first baby she was expected to do so upstairs when staying at her mother's house.

schnubbins My gran used to shake her head when learning that various neighbours with large families had yet another baby. And she would say things like - that man of hers needs to just leave her alone. Enough is enough.

And alongside unmentionable pregnancy, at the other end of the scale, nobody died of cancer, also unmentionable, along with homosexuality and there must be others I've forgotten. My poor mother could hardly bring herself to say Oscar Wilde when we were reading something of his at school. Most forbidden things to say came under the heading of 'personal remarks'. A personal remark covered everything from 'I like your shoes' to 'your husband is a psycho sex monster'. My parents were older when I was born so out of date even in the 1950s. They must be spinning in their graves at the lack of privacy now where perfect strangers will share intimate personal detail without a second thought.