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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what the strangest thing is that you've seen in a family home/life...

888 replies

purpleworms · 03/01/2019 12:06

...that to them was completely normal?

I have just seen someone asked this on an AMA on their Instagram. Their reply was walking around fully naked in front of parents/siblings/any family members.

While this is obviously okay for some, if it happened in a home I was visiting I'd be Shock but that's just because it's not the norm in my family.

I'm racking my brains but I don't think I've ever noticed anything! But people have such different ways/customs within their home lives and routines. We all regard our own as normal without ever really knowing if what's normal to us is strange to others!

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 05/01/2019 09:55

In a family situation though, I'd find one person eating one dish only quite odd, unless they had special dietary needs - and then I'd expect the group to take account of that, so that they too could have a main dish and a side or two, or choose from a selection of dishes they might like.

It reminds me of the 'bring a bottle and drink that' versus 'bring a gift, then drink what the host is providing' scenario. I'm picturing a table of people, each with their one takeaway dish and their own drink, like a mass gathering of people eating alone. (I have done this though, in a 'going to person X's house as it's convenient but not expecting them to host' scenario).

LadyBunker · 05/01/2019 09:58

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

ShadyLady53 · 05/01/2019 10:04

I'm picturing a table of people, each with their one takeaway dish and their own drink, like a mass gathering of people eating alone.

How is that any different to a normal
family meal?! Say a roast dinner, you all sit at the table with your own plate and drink...

You aren’t all eating alone, because you are together...

Like @LadyBunker I’m a Coeliac so can’t share anyway but I wouldn’t want to mix up all my food like that even if I didn’t have CD...I’d just want the one dish I’d ordered. All my family are the same.

I’ve never heard of Bring Your Own Bottle To Drink. I don’t drink alcohol so take a bottle of wine for the hosts and a couple of bottles of soft drinks for any teetotallars.

lottiegarbanzo · 05/01/2019 10:16

It's different because you're all eating and drinking different things. Each with a different bottle open.

Corbynscat · 05/01/2019 10:18

We all order our own dishes from the takeaway and take our bit then leave the tubs on the side to try if we are at my step dads.

It’s the best of both worlds.

My mother wouldn’t let me change primary schools when we moved House so I would be driven by dsdad at 5/6 in the morning to a friends house and let myself in and fall asleep on the sofa. This stopped and then I got the hour long bus myself. I was 9/10.

lottiegarbanzo · 05/01/2019 10:21

A roast dinner anaology would be that one person orders roast chicken, another orders potatoes, another carrots. The they each eat their own dish and refuse to share.

Yes, some Indian and Chinese takeaway food is a bit more mixed, like a stew than that but, with Indian food, not so much more so. I'd much rather eat some main dish with a bit of dahl, a veg side dish or two and some rice than just one big plate of dahl, or Bombay potatoes. Yet I couldn't possibly eat a whole portion of each. (Just as I couldn't and wouldn't want to eat all and only roast potatoes).

abacucat · 05/01/2019 10:27

I am smiling that the sharing takeaway is the most controversial post on this thread.
Personally I hate sharing takeaway. Reminds me of the kind of person who wants to share a dessert at a restaurant. I order what I want. If you want to share takeaway you arrange that with others by agreement, don't assume or make them feel they have to.

lottiegarbanzo · 05/01/2019 10:29

Controversial because within the realm of normal experience Grin

Almost everything else on the thread has me agog and unable to think of anything comparable.

Santasshoe · 05/01/2019 10:32

We never get sides which is why we just have what we choose. As I said we never had takeaway as a child so it wasn't something we did. Well we once had fish and chips but then you have your own thing for that. I'm also screamish about people touching my food even with my children. I will give them some of mine if they want some but if they dared touch my plate I wouldn't eat it.

Pinkflipflop85 · 05/01/2019 11:00

Screamish... Grin

lottiegarbanzo · 05/01/2019 11:22

Oh yes, I'm a bit queasy (and possibly even screamish) about sharing food from other people's plates - and definitely agree about eating ones own restaurant meal or pudding (pp's shared ice-cream example, bleurgh!). But to me, a takeaway dish is a dish not a meal and people help themselves from the carton (flimsy serving dish), not from other people's plates.

Motoko · 05/01/2019 11:27

We all order our own dishes from the takeaway and take our bit then leave the tubs on the side to try if we are at my step dads.

That's what we do. There's usually some of each main bit left, plus we get a selection of sides for everyone to share. If I have sweet and sour prawn balls, they give you about 10, and I can only manage about 4 as they're large, so there's plenty left for others to have some.

Schmoobarb · 05/01/2019 11:33

Re the takeaway I don’t see what’s odd about just wanting what you’ve chosen? I hate seeing someone else’s big spoon in my food! Fuck off! If I order chicken in black bean sauce it’s because that’s what I want, not someone else’s king prawn satay or whatever!

Mind you at likes of an Indian buffet I don’t mix the curries either. I might have mixed starters but Mains I just have one curry I don’t like all the sauces running into each other

LearningMySelfWorth · 05/01/2019 11:37

@BasilFaulty, It would freak them out because they all come from small families, where they’re not tactile or loud or close to each other like that. I far prefer my family set up to theirs tbh.

YepImafraidIchangeditagain · 05/01/2019 11:45

This thread reminds me so much of Kevin Bridges 'House rice' .🤣🤣🤣

Roussette · 05/01/2019 11:47

Re Takeaway, my DH is famous for only wanting what he's ordered. I know I know, that's his prerogative but he is ridiculous with it. Sometimes I only want a teaspoon to try and see if that might be my next favourite! I just take a tiny little bit and taste whether he likes it or not!

I've slowly educated him... when we're on holiday and the DCs are with us we might share 2 or 3 starters between 5 of us. He's OK with that. It's just an indian where he's so possessive! We went as a family to this really posh and expensive Indian restaurant in London, it was so fab, freshly cooked food. It was the done thing to share. The waiter almost chose our dishes for us, they were seriously delicious. We all had a bit of everything. He was nearly in pain with it!

JustOneShadeOfGrey · 05/01/2019 11:49

My PILs have never (knowingly) opened their windows for fear of a fly getting in. (When MIL passed and I was recently clearing her stuff I sent FIL out on an errand so I could treat the room to some air while I cleaned the mould off the walls!)

They lock the porch and hall door when we arrive (after they’ve let us in!) and when it’s time to leave they retrieve the keys from a locked drawer to open the doors!

They close the blinds in every single room every time they leave the house so burglars won’t see they’re not in!!

The car is put away in the garage (not strange per say) - but even if they’re just stopping off to retrieve something they’ve forgotten!

When they built the house they insisted on both shower rooms having different types of shower - one running off the electric and the other off the central heating, incase one let them down. But in all that time neither has been used! They taped over the shower base drains years ago incase spiders came up through the drains.

Visitors have to use the ensuite toilet to save two bathrooms having to be cleaned.

Despite it being a bungalow, shaving and teeth washing/steeping is done at the kitchen sink.

Since I redecorated spare room, nobody is allowed to sleep in it because “it’s too nice”!!

Husband asked to stay overnight (we live 45 miles away) because he and his dad were catching the red eye flight to London and he was collecting his dad to travel to airport in one car but was refused on above grounds.

When DH graduated, FIL was recovering from minor surgery and was told he shouldn’t drive for a certain number of weeks. Despite feeling well enough he couldn’t drive to our city for ceremony because his x number of weeks (can’t remember how many) suggested by nurse weren’t up. DH paid £80 for return taxi because he really wanted them there. Very next day that deadline was lifted and FIL was back in the driver’s seat!

There’s nowt as queer as folk ...

girlandboy · 05/01/2019 11:52

Our old cottage has a bolt on every door in the house which includes all the interior doors. They are there from when we bought it. Strangely we've never thought to take them off, but also never used them. I don't notice them now.
There's also a lock and keyhole in the sitting room door!

BasilFaulty · 05/01/2019 11:55

What shocks me the most is that seemingly not one person thought to step in and report that mother, it was very sad. All the neighbours knew what they were like but I don't think anyone stepped in

But neither did you or your mum? Confused

ShadyLady53 · 05/01/2019 11:57

@girlandboy my parent’s house is exactly the same but also has several phone line points. It was originally owned by a head of police services and was a safety precaution that ended up saving our lives when I was little and we had a violent burglary. We were able to lock ourselves in via several upstairs doors and phone the police from upstairs (rare in those days to have portable phones/more than one phone line). It bought us enough time for the police to get there. I can’t sleep in a room without a lock on the door now. I have a fire plan too.

girlandboy · 05/01/2019 12:01

@ShadyLady53 I have wondered if a previous owner felt more secure with all the bolts.
As it's an old cottage we have a "stairs door" that you have to open to go upstairs. I have felt that the bolt on that door would give extra time should there be an intruder downstairs.

chopchopchill · 05/01/2019 12:29

There's a great scene in gavin and Stacey where smithy rants about sharing takeaway, I think he eventually goes to eat his in the car Grin

LittleKitty1985 · 05/01/2019 12:30

@ShirleyPhallus I think a lot of cat owners are nose blind to their smell, I’ve never been to a house with cats where it hasn’t stunk of cat piss and the owners have no idea. Even beautiful, pristine houses still smell like cats if you have them. IMO.

I've always thought this about dog owners! You can smell dog hair as soon as you walk in somewhere that has one, whereas cats themselves are much cleaner and don't smell. Litter trays do smell sometimes, but not always, & not all cat owners use them.

abacucat · 05/01/2019 12:33

Roussette I am with your DH. I will allow my DP a tiny taste, but no more.

Roussette · 05/01/2019 13:00

I'm just a sharing person as far as an indian or chinese so it does grate with me a bit!