Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what the strangest thing is that you've seen in a family home/life...

888 replies

purpleworms · 03/01/2019 12:06

...that to them was completely normal?

I have just seen someone asked this on an AMA on their Instagram. Their reply was walking around fully naked in front of parents/siblings/any family members.

While this is obviously okay for some, if it happened in a home I was visiting I'd be Shock but that's just because it's not the norm in my family.

I'm racking my brains but I don't think I've ever noticed anything! But people have such different ways/customs within their home lives and routines. We all regard our own as normal without ever really knowing if what's normal to us is strange to others!

OP posts:
Munchyseeds · 04/01/2019 19:14

Nothing weird about a flat sheet under the duvet when it's King size!

BeatriceBee · 04/01/2019 19:14

My DPs used to keep the tv on, or even turn it on, when visitors were in the house and wouldn't even turn down the volume. They never thought it was unusual and would take it for granted the visitors were happy to watch tv along with them. I used to cringe and still can't believe how rude they were.
Also, on summer days when visitors were invited to sit in the garden for tea, cake and a chat, it was 'fairly normal' for my DF to start up his extremely noisy petrol lawnmower. You couldn't hear yourself think, let alone what anyone else was saying and their lawn was fairly large, so it wasn't a five minute job. Once again, very rude, but I am now wondering if he had aspergers and it was his way of coping with social situations - "I can't talk now because I am very busy, just watch me work....." - maybe?

Snoz · 04/01/2019 19:15

I used to go on playdates I guess you'd call them (in the 80s?) when I was 11 and 12. Before the evening meal, (6 kids, Mum, Dad, moi), everyone had to state what they were thankful for. I remember them all being thankful for me coming over one day. I was mortified. I of course was then thankful for being invited. Blush
The eldest actually invited me to his debs years later, but he had bullied me in school prior to his thankfulness, so I kissed another guy on the night (TOUCHÉ)
He's now a solicitor and has given me free legal advice on a couple of occasions but is happily married with two kids. And bald. I very much doubt he carried on the tradition, as everyone was totally mortified during this giving thanks ordeal.

ShirleyPhallus · 04/01/2019 19:17

I remember now that when I used to go to my boyfriend’s house when we were 15 or so we’d hang out in his bedroom, then at dinner time he’d run downstairs and eat his dinner, then come back up and we’d get back to whatever we were doing

Seemed really normal at the time but now I’m wondering wtf I wasn’t invited to join then for dinner?!

Gwenhwyfar · 04/01/2019 19:17

"I know a family where kids were only expected to have a bath or a shower once a week"

This was completely normal until quite recently. Bath on a Saturday was something you'd hear a lot in the 80s.

Snoz · 04/01/2019 19:21

In the early 80's, my cousins didn't have running water (rural), so they all came to ours on a Saturday for the weekly bath shindig. Of course it was great fun for us kids, but I imagine the parents dreaded the weekly trek. We'd be allowed to stay up late if the conversation went into the night. What DID people talk about back then? The local gossip probably.

Snoz · 04/01/2019 19:23

Worth mentioning, we had running water, but were also only bathed on a Saturday night! My ex (and he's younger than me!) used to be bathed in a tin bath in front of the fire until he was 6! He was born in 1980! The neighbour used to be in chatting and he'd have to bath in front of her. Not an eyelid was batted lol. Only shame for a young boy I guess.

annoyingcat · 04/01/2019 19:24

Both of my stories are quite disturbing.
As a little girl, I lived in a flat and the neighbours on the bottom floor would occasionally babysit me, my mum would reciprocate. The mum was a very devout Christian and very into discipline. Slightest naughty thing and she would 'take a wooden spoon to your bottom'. However, she would allow her children, age 3 and 5 to strip from waist down and openly masturbate no matter who was in the house. The children did this constantly. Shudder. (I know kids explore etc it was just the openness and in front of grown men, women, etc)

A friend of my mum's had a manky house which stank of piss. She was an awful cook too. I hated going round there and as she was so kind-hearted, she often encouraged us to stay for tea. My mum forbid me to complain as she "had a heart of gold" and as such didn't believe me when I told her the oldest girl, 9, had once peed on her bedroom carpet as she couldn't be bothered going to the toilet. Another time she sat on the bed next to me to show me her coin collection. I knew she had let rip again when I felt pee seep into my ski pants from her freely wetting again. Funnily enough, my mum did believe me when similar happened to her on the sofa when we went round there for movie night! The mum knew, it was all, 'oh, what's she like?'

Then, I just thought it was odd and not something most people would do, but now I wonder what deep problems might have been present in both families perhaps.

LuluJakey1 · 04/01/2019 19:25

In our last house, our next door neighbours bought a brand new very smart motor home every two years and never ever used them. They were washed outside, cleaned inside, continually connected to the electric supply but never moved from the drive and never actually used as in they even sat inthem. No idea what it was about other than something to keep them busy.We presumed they moved them through the day when we were at work but them I had DS and became SAHM and we realised they never moved them. Must have been costing them thousands a year,

LikeYouSaid · 04/01/2019 19:37

I went to sleep at a friends house when I was fourteen and her mum let her pets poo in the house and didn’t clean it. They had brown carpets (I assume was naturally brown?)!and animal poo was literally crushed into it, it was disgusting, and she had the cheek to tell me to take my shoes off when I stepped in! Hmm

Six large dogs and about 7-8 cats roamed around, the house stank of urine and animal poo but was otherwise tidy (no clutter etc), just the poo in the carpets with fresh turds scattered around with mouldy old ones! I called my parents to pick me up immediately when I stepped into her bedroom and found animal poo in the top bunk where I was supposed to sleep when she told me to go me upstairs to put my bag down.

My dad was mortified when he picked me up and he later told me when we recalled the story years later he’d actually called social services afterwards because he felt awful for the kids in her house (she had 4 with my friend as the oldest and the youngest about 3.)

Really vile, I’ll bever forget that Envy (disgust not envy)

Mummy103 · 04/01/2019 19:42

Well i was at an old boyfriends house, i went to use the toilet and was horrified to see his sister naked waist down, legs up on sink shaving her hoohaa!! The door was wide open... what on earth

Harleyband · 04/01/2019 19:48

I slept over at a friend's house. Breakfast in the morning was cereal- without milk. The whole family gave me the side eye when I asked for milk for my cereal. they made me feel my family was strange for taking milk with cereal until I realized that everybody else did. it wasn't that they didn't drink milk either- milk on the table for tea.

Raspberry10 · 04/01/2019 19:48

I was a bridesmaid at my cousin’s wedding. Turned up to his future MIL’s to help the bride. Walked through the front door, thought ‘I can smell dog shit’ checked my shoes, nothing...the looked down. Oh dear god it was everywhere. His future MIL had obviously had not only let her dogs crap in the house but didn’t even clean it up Shock

Spent the next hour trying to breathe through my mouth, and keep the bride’s merengue dress out of crap. Worst day ever! I was only 15, and was’t sure why no adult was saying anything! Cousin’s fiancé seemed to think it was normal Hmm

fleshmarketclose · 04/01/2019 19:56

A friend of my sister had three goats that lived in the house with them. They slept in the living room and toileted in the kitchen which had a layer of straw put down for them. Sister's friend was always mortified, I used to feel sorry for her.
When she moved out (at the earliest opportunity) she was completely OCD about her own home which was pristine at all times.

TheFormidableMrsC · 04/01/2019 20:01

My mum used to have that awful carpet runner plastic through the downstairs, it was spiky on one side to stop it slipping. Cream carpet everywhere and worried about "stains". I still get ribbed about it to this day by some of my friends!

I also found myself to be the odd one once! I HATE ironing with a passion so I iron as I go which works fine for me and the kids, I do whatever we need the next day, every evening. My DD went to stay with a friend for the night when she was about 9, we'll call the friend "Charlotte". She came back the next day and said "Mum, it's really weird at Charlotte's house, they just get their clothes out of the wardrobe and they're ironed and they PUT THEM STRAIGHT ON Grin.

TheFormidableMrsC · 04/01/2019 20:07

Oh and my Mum used to clean the house from top to bottom before the cleaner came. It was a standing joke!

Bringbackthestripes · 04/01/2019 20:10

Raspberry10 I thought LikeYouSaid being in a house like that was a rare occurrence....obviously not Shock

Guineapiglet345 · 04/01/2019 20:11

I went to a friends house once while his parents were out and after a couple of hours I asked him where the loo was, he looked horrified and told me his step mother wouldn’t like me using it and it would have to be cleaned if I used it. I insisted I was going to use it and she’d never know and eventually he gave in and told me where it was. After I came out he rushed in and started putting bleach down the loo and wiping the sink. It was seriously weird, he was actually terrified she’d know someone had used it.

LikeYouSaid · 04/01/2019 20:23

@Raspberry10 did we visit the same house Grin

goose1964 · 04/01/2019 20:25

we viewed a house that, I'm not joking, had at least 50 bog rolls in their toilet

Raspberry10 · 04/01/2019 20:33

@LikeYouSaid Let’s hope we did, or there is more than one! Shock LOL!

expatinspain · 04/01/2019 21:06

I was invited over with DD to the house of a mum I didn't really know for lunch and a play date. Everyone was in their pjs the whole time (parents and kids). Now I like wearing pjs at home as much as the next person, but think it's odd when you have guests you don't really know over to not get dressed.

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 04/01/2019 21:16

My youngest daughter was invited to a friends birthday party when she was very little and off we went to their house in the middle of nowhere.

It was an rather dark, cold farmhouse and the bizarre thing about it was that everywhere stuck in the walls where little printed out notes telling you what to do. For example, stuck on the toilet was a note saying ‘flush the toilet and put the lid down after use’, then by the loo roll ‘replace when empty ‘ by the sink ‘remember to wash your hands’, by the coat rack ‘hang your coats up’, by each light switch ‘remember to turn off the lights’ and so on .

It came across as very controlling and pretty annoying. They were everywhere! The hosts also completely ignored us (the party guests), no offer of a drink, and the house was freezing. I’m just glad that I had the company of the other mums to talk to whilst our children played.

Justanothernamechange2 · 04/01/2019 21:17

I once stayed at a friends when I was around 9-10ish and the kids werent allowed out of their bedroom between 7pm and 7.30am. They werent even allowed to use the bathroom - i was absolutely mortified when they told me i had to pee in a bucket at night (3 girls sharing a room, 1 bucket). Odd thing was the parents werent strict about anything else.. was no bed time, no be quiet etc - just dont leave your bedroom for 12.5 hours..

allupsidedown · 04/01/2019 21:18

We joke that my friend is Harry Potter. There were lots of children in her family and a fairly ordinary 3 bed house. Parents had a large bedroom, the next largest bedroom held a snooker table and a bar, the smallest bedroom (probably classed as a single bedroom) was where her 4 brother slept.
Her and her sister had a mattress on the floor in the cupboard under the stair.
Their clothes were kept in the airing cupboard.