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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find it creepy when DH touches my breasts since bfeeding

74 replies

AbitOfaCrummyMummy · 02/01/2019 22:58

Am I the only one thats found this?

It makes me really uncomfortable if DH goes near em. Eventhough DS (15m) is down to one feed before bed.

Somehow bfeeding has ruined that part of sex..which is worrying as I am only half as keen as DH anyway

Or am I wierd Blush

OP posts:
Bambamber · 03/01/2019 01:42

I'm the same

brookshelley · 03/01/2019 01:58

I agree. Perhaps this is why some mothers choose to formula feed from day one.

And yet imagine the reaction if someone said she is having an elective c-section to save her fanjo for sex.

This is a ludicrous reason not to BF in my opinion but I suspect you're right that it does factor for some women. Sad.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 03/01/2019 02:41

There would be nothing wrong with that decision either. Or are women not in control of their own bodies? Hmm

Sashkin · 03/01/2019 02:46

women who liked breast feeding their husbands

Confused

But yep totally normal, DS weaned himself last month and I can now cope with being touched again, but still wouldn’t want a mouth anywhere near them. Poor DH! Grin

brookshelley · 03/01/2019 03:08

NotUmbongoUnchained people can choose what they want, I'm free to have an opinion about those choices.

It's not like most new mothers are having loads of sex in the first few months after baby is born anyway. So if someone doesn't BF for the reason she wants to "keep her breasts for sex" it just doesn't make sense to me.

HoppingPavlova · 03/01/2019 03:55

Same here but I’m 20 years on. Still can’t srand DH anywhere near them.

PineapplePower · 03/01/2019 04:04

When I saw the headline (creepy) I honestly expected worse. Anyway, sexual touching makes my boobs leak so I nope out of touching there.

Agree that it’s sad that to think some women want to “save” their boobs for their partner. Is this real? I hope it’s not a decision made under pressure. I mean, you might as well bring husband’s knots back to the fanny?

NotUmbongoUnchained · 03/01/2019 04:11

Or maybe I saved my tits for MYSELF.

brookshelley · 03/01/2019 04:16

You don’t have to like my opinion Umbongo. And I hope you enjoy your tits greatly. As this thread is about sex not sure why you are parsing my words - have I misspoken?

Getting pregnant meant I agreed to give up my body to my children for a temporary period. Not forever! My sex life has changed not just because of my body but fatigue, time, etc. I would imagine it’s the same for most new mothers so saving the tits specifically seems to be missing the point to me.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 03/01/2019 04:29

You haven’t misspoken, you’ve made you views very clear. Your opinion is that women who make those decisions are sad little women who are giving parts of their bodies away to their partners. Awww poor them!

Did it not occur to you that women enjoy sex too? Maybe the woman who had a section to stay tight did it for HER pleasure not her husbands? Or the women who choose not to breastfeed to save their breasts do it for their OWN pleasure not their husbands?

OkPedro · 03/01/2019 05:01

Agree with NotUmbongo

I didn't breast feed because of this reaction. "I gave up" my body for almost 10 months while I was pregnant. No womens breasts main function isn't sex but they are for me. The idea of bf made me feel sick.
Funny how we are all different eh brookshelley ?

croprotationinthe13thcentury · 03/01/2019 05:35

I dont think it is unusual. Also worth noting in same context that many many find milky, over-sized breasts quite repulsive and a huge turn-off, so perhaps this is all just nature at work.

brookshelley · 03/01/2019 05:59

If you’re confident in your choices not sure why you care that I have a different opinion.

brookshelley · 03/01/2019 05:59

In my experience my tits have never been more useful than while BF. My husband can wait his turn!

planespotting · 03/01/2019 06:29

Yes 😫
It has ruined that part 😫😫😫😫

IchFliegeNach · 03/01/2019 07:08

Yes to all of this!
But the reaction only lasted whilst bf-ing. i did get 'the rage' - so hard to explain!

QueenofmyPrinces · 03/01/2019 07:15

Bar a 7 month break, I’ve been breast feeding for almost 5 years now and I can’t bear it if my husband goes near them.....it makes me feel very uncomfortable because right now their use is to nourish our child, not be groped at by him.

I used to love my boobs being touched during sex but they are a complete no-go area these days and I can’t imagine a time where I will enjoy them being touched again Grin

fedupandlookingforchange · 03/01/2019 07:18

I’m still breastfeeding my 18 month old when he strokes, pats, sucks, kneads my breast it is just the sense of feeding my child or him looking for comfort.
If my DP touches my breasts that’s quite a different feeling. My body and mind can compartmentalise both purposes

Original poster
AbitOfaCrummyMummy · 03/01/2019 08:33

God I am glad I asked this as. Me and DH dont get to have sex much anymore, and he was really bewildered with me pushing his hands away. It does feel like I wont be able to think differently about it any time soon. But atleast I am "normal"

For the record. I had a csection, albeit an emergency one. And for me, god only knows how, the sex is better for me now. In that region atleast! I think people make their own choices in any respect or deal with what their situation is. I have no idea what your 'fanjo' would feel like after giving birth naturally, but in a wierd way I am sad I don't because I blame myself I couldn't do it naturally (even though it was an emergency) perhaps I will feel differently if I have a second and my boobs and "fanjo" are out of action.

But thats a whole different topic!!

Btw I write "fanjo" as I find that a f**king hilarious name

OP posts:
FlagFish · 03/01/2019 08:36

I had this too. Fine as soon as I'd stopped breastfeeding.

brookshelley · 03/01/2019 08:39

Abit I had two c sections and can relate to your feelings. Both planned but the first for medical reasons. Second because went past due and my VBAC chances didn’t look good. So I wasn’t slating c section mums, sorry if you thought I was!

NotUmbongoUnchained · 03/01/2019 08:43

Don’t blame yourself, baby is born safely, that’s all that matters.

Original poster
AbitOfaCrummyMummy · 03/01/2019 08:46

@brookshelley

No I was just referring to a comment made about people choosing to have one to save their sex life. As PP just said. Baby arrives safely thats the main thing. Smile

OP posts:
bobstersmum · 03/01/2019 08:48

I did feel like this when the babies were tiny, I remember it well! Dd is 20 months now and still loves the boob, it doesn't bother me dh touching them now.

OutPinked · 03/01/2019 08:52

It is partly why my own Mother chose to never breastfeed. She found the whole concept really creepy and weird, I think in her mind they were sexual objects for male enjoyment which is sad.

I’ve BF’d all of mine and definitely felt this way every time. Youngest is 9 weeks and DP has not been anywhere near them since he was born Grin. Partly because they were so sore for a while but now it’s mostly just because they almost seem to have a reserved sign on for our DS.