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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get married without telling anyone except mum and dads

31 replies

Whdidjbehs71 · 02/01/2019 20:12

just the above really...

Have our wedding booked for summer next year in our home town. Both sides of the family have tension, people not speaking to one another, etc and I just can’t be bothered with the hassle on the day

AIBU to go somewhere at the end of the year and get married just us, our mum and dads, my brother and our kids and niece/nephew

My DP said his mum won’t be happy as her sisters won’t be able to come but u can’t please everyone?!

OP posts:
Blondielongie · 02/01/2019 20:13

Do it! Or better yet elope without your parents ! Just take your brother and all the children!

BlueSuffragette · 02/01/2019 20:13

Yes, sounds like a great plan. Congratulations.

porger80 · 02/01/2019 20:16

I'm not coming from personal experience as I'm not married but I think with anything in life - if you make decisions based on what other people want rather than what you want, that will bug you for a long time. Don't look at photos in 10 years time of a wedding you didn't want. Go with your gut.

Owwlie · 02/01/2019 20:16

I would do it (in fact, me and DP are getting married this year with just 2 friends as witnesses) but why is your brother able to go but not his sisters? That seems a bit harsh.

Owwlie · 02/01/2019 20:17

Unless it's because he doesn't want his sisters there, which is fair enough then.

Original poster
Whdidjbehs71 · 02/01/2019 20:17

I’m really close to my mum and dad so would love to have them there, and I couldn’t invite my mum and dad without my DP mum and dad as that would be another argument!

I’m definitely thinking it’s the best thing to do!

OP posts:
Original poster
Whdidjbehs71 · 02/01/2019 20:18

He’s an only child, doesn’t have any siblings which makes things easier

OP posts:
Pissedoffdotcom · 02/01/2019 20:19

Definitely do it! My ideal wedding is a registry office with my immediate family, his immediate family & like 4 friends. Fuck anybody else. Do what YOU want

FuzzyCustard · 02/01/2019 20:21

Do it. You can always have some sort of party later if you so decide.

Sparklesocks · 02/01/2019 20:22

Go for it Smile

bridgetreilly · 02/01/2019 20:23

What you want is more important than what his aunts want. Do it.

Bringbackthestrioes · 02/01/2019 20:26

DB & SIL went off to Gretna green with 2 friends and told everyone afterwards. That was due to ‘tension’ on SILs side. He & SIL have no regrets, they had the wedding they wanted without all the drama. They were sad myself & DM couldn’t be invited but it was for the best.

flubbadubble · 02/01/2019 20:29

Do it. We're doing it this year. Tension and possible trouble with one sibling so we're just going ahead without them. Already had the go ahead from my folks, wasn't what I imagined but actually couldn't be happier.

Owwlie · 02/01/2019 20:30

Whdidjbehs71

Sorry OP! I read it as 'his sisters'. Definitely don't worry about your MILs sisters. The reason me and DP are getting married with just 2 friends as witnesses is because our parents kicked up a fuss about us not wanting their siblings at the very small wedding we were planning. So none of them are coming now!

Definitely do it your way!

BlaaBlaaBlaa · 02/01/2019 20:32

That's exactly what we did. Registry office with parents and we told everyone else when we returned from holiday ( which was actually our honeymoon) ..... absolutely perfect and no regrets.

InAPreviousLife · 02/01/2019 20:32

This is exactly what we did. Not a single regret Grin

user1493413286 · 02/01/2019 20:32

I had a lovely medium size (60 guests) wedding and to be honest I kind of wish we’d done immediate family in a registry office with a champagne lunch and used the money we saved for an amazing honeymoon

Original poster
Whdidjbehs71 · 02/01/2019 20:47

Wow I’m feeling so much better reading all of these comments Grin thanks ladies

OP posts:
deste · 02/01/2019 20:55

My DS and Fiancé got married on Christmas Eve. They told no-one but mums and dads and one sister each. It was lovely and afterwards she went out to meet their friends with her bouquet. That’s when they told everyone. They are having a proper reception next year and a friend is giving a blessing. Do what you want.

SteveMcGarrettsBudgieSmugglers · 02/01/2019 21:10

I did it with just two friends as witnesses and dd who was 4 months at the time, it was s second marriage we didnt want the fuss and expense of a big wedding. It was lovely

Wingingeverything · 02/01/2019 21:13

Thats what I am doing next year. Go for it!x

AlpacaLypse · 02/01/2019 21:17

Strangely enough one of my old university friends has just posted some photos to Facebook. With tag line of 'this is why we weren't around this Christmas'. She and her beloved shot off and tied the knot with only immediate family. Some chatter about having a big bbq type party with tents and sleeping bags for those who would prefer not drive home, come the summer. Fair play to her, it's the first day of a marriage, not a venue for the latest round in whatever family feuds may currently be going on.

DeathyMcDeathStarFace · 02/01/2019 21:30

Do what you and your fiance want to do, with or without whichever family you choose to include or not. It's your day, do it your way. If others want to be offended, let them.

snowone · 02/01/2019 21:32

We did it - just parents and siblings, it was amazing!!! You do what you want - it is your day!!

BackforGood · 02/01/2019 21:32

I'm generally not supportive of elopements - I just know I would be incredibly sad if someone close to me didn't want me at their wedding but I am not a drama llama and don't have anyone I'm not speaking to etc.
In your circumstances, I agree with everyone else - do what is right for you and your df. It is your day and not his Aunts. If they din't have all these dramas then they would have been invited.

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