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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to proceed with prosecution

128 replies

lilybetsy · 02/01/2019 10:43

A big vague but the essentials are here.

I'm a GP. Last week a male person came into my place of work asking for something i could not provide: Think an item of equipment that we simply don't have ( nor does any other GP surgery). I explained this to him, and told him where he could get what he needed. (about 1 mile away)
he got very angry, swore at me, threatened to 'finish me off' called me a 'cunt' and threw something at me. Then when my receptionist called he police he left.
The Police came, and told me I could pursue a prosecution if I wished, that this was an arrestable offence, and should be taken seriously.

I am inclined to pursue a prosecution, as much to make a serious statement about not accepting violence to anyone, Im ok. I have been a victim of DV and this kind of thing used to freak me out but I'm much stronger now.

Would you prosecute ? he has been removed from our patient list. Or is that vindictive, a waste of time since he didn't physically assault me?

OP posts:
AmaryllisNightAndDay · 02/01/2019 12:09

I hope you and your receptionist are both getting over the shock. Flowers Flowers Flowers

And I'm glad you're going ahead with the legalities. In an awful situation it's good to think of you and your receptionist looking after each other and standing up for each other's right to work in safety.

Original poster
lilybetsy · 02/01/2019 12:09

Didfordarkchocolate in my area once he has been removed from a list for violence he will only be seen at a violent patients facility where there is appropriate security and safeguarding for staff.

strangerthongs This I would seriously question the competence and professionalism of my GP if I knew he/she dismissed violence sounds a bit like victim blaming ...

OP posts:
AnotherShirtRuined · 02/01/2019 12:10

You are absolutely doing the right thing in prosecuting.

Magentaorwagenta · 02/01/2019 12:10

So sorry you experienced this.

Yes I would prosecute.

bobstersmum · 02/01/2019 12:13

Definitely prosecute! You have the right to do your job without being threatened or assaulted. I hope you are ok.

delboysskinandblister · 02/01/2019 12:14

GPs are human beings too. OP has already said she has been a victim of domestic violence plus she has just had a shock and is trying to see things from the drug and alcohol user viewpoint. Don't blame the victim.

supersop60 · 02/01/2019 12:15

Yes. As pp have said - he could hurt someone else because you kept quiet. I have zero tolerance to anyone who abuses people in the caring professions.

BitOutOfPractice · 02/01/2019 12:16

I didn't think it was the victim's decision to prosecute!

MacarenaFerreiro · 02/01/2019 12:17

Hope you're OK, OP. Abuse should never be tolerated and it's awful that people think it's fine to abuse those working in the medical profession (or indeed any profession).

Prosecute.

BitOutOfPractice · 02/01/2019 12:17

And I'm sorry you had to go through that OP. Must've been frightening. It beggars belief that someone could be so vile to someone who is there to help them though I know how sadly common it is

Apple103 · 02/01/2019 12:19

Glad you decided to go ahead op. If he could do that in a public place without fear then I can imagine what a threat he is to others.

LoadOfUtterBoswellocks · 02/01/2019 12:20

I would advise you to proceed - if not for yourself, for the other people that work with you, and in all other similar practices. It says that you have zero tolerance of abuse in any form directed towards anybody trying to get on with their job of helping people.

The person may well have MH or addiction issues etc., but it's still not OK to treat people like this, and sometimes having consequences for actions is part of working out what their needs are.

CaMePlaitPas · 02/01/2019 12:27

You have a moral obligation to yourself and others to ensure that this person doesn't do that again. Prosecute. Good luck.

decemberfrost · 02/01/2019 12:31

@lilybetsy

Another vote here for taking it further. What a nasty bastard he is. As a few posters have said, he will keep doing this to people and he needs sorting out!

I am genuinely nice to EVERYONE I encounter in the service industry/customer care/people who work with the public etc, no matter how shit or grumpy I am feeling... And I have lost count of the amount of times I have been told 'if all our customers/ patients/ people we deal with were like you, our job would be soooooooo much better. Basically, many people are rude, or just act like they're OWED something, OR they just pretty much ignore them.

The shit people have to deal with from the public is no joke. It's disgusting.

If someone IS having a rough time, and they are arsey or rude (or even verbally abusive,) then they should say sorry, and make amends.

I don't know who the fuck some people think they are, I really don't. Angry

Also, from your name you sound female???

That's even worse if it was a man attacking a woman. (Though a man attacking another man is still not on, obviously!)

nakedscientist · 02/01/2019 12:32

OP you are an intelligent, educated, professional woman and a highly valued member of your community and wider society. This man attacked you in public. Imagine what he is capable of in private.

Do not hesitate to use the full power of the law. Do not for a second imagine that you are vindictive, but are striking out for women less capable than yourself.

HermioneWeasley · 02/01/2019 12:34

Gosh, yes, why wouldn’t you? He’s a violent man who needs to suffer the consequences

grinchypants · 02/01/2019 12:35

I think it's actually really important that you do, it may deter him from doing the same to other health professionals and he may do worse next time. He needs consequences

Original poster
lilybetsy · 02/01/2019 12:37

@nakedscientist Yes, that exactly.

For other women; for my young receptionist who needs to believe that her employers will keep her safe, for any members of this person's family, for all women who have encounters violence and abuse at work (or at home) I will proceed and take the risk that it causes more trouble.

@decemberfrost - kindness and niceness is really really appreciated so thank you ( and I am female)

OP posts:
BrokenWing · 02/01/2019 12:37

I have a habit of 'seeing both sides'

Let the judge see both sides (they can request social reports or whatever they are called) and decide if this individual is in need of punishment or support. You don't know enough about them to decide the best course of action for them.

MorningsEleven · 02/01/2019 12:39

Yes, definitely prosecute.

I've been a GP's receptionist and seen this kind of abuse many times. It needs an absolute zero tolerance approach.

Omzlas · 02/01/2019 12:39

You're absolutely doing the right thing OP, your staff need to see that you're willing to defend yourself and them

Nobody should have to face any sort of abuse when trying to help another human being

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 02/01/2019 12:40

You are doing the right thing in prosecuting. There needs to be consequences for such behaviour.

DishingOutDone · 02/01/2019 12:42

What did your colleagues say, the other two that you run the practice with? Surely they would have had to be involved?

thebaronetofcockburn · 02/01/2019 12:42

So glad you are prosecuting!

DishingOutDone · 02/01/2019 12:42

(PS - yes of course you should prosecute!)