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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to proceed with prosecution

128 replies

lilybetsy · 02/01/2019 10:43

A big vague but the essentials are here.

I'm a GP. Last week a male person came into my place of work asking for something i could not provide: Think an item of equipment that we simply don't have ( nor does any other GP surgery). I explained this to him, and told him where he could get what he needed. (about 1 mile away)
he got very angry, swore at me, threatened to 'finish me off' called me a 'cunt' and threw something at me. Then when my receptionist called he police he left.
The Police came, and told me I could pursue a prosecution if I wished, that this was an arrestable offence, and should be taken seriously.

I am inclined to pursue a prosecution, as much to make a serious statement about not accepting violence to anyone, Im ok. I have been a victim of DV and this kind of thing used to freak me out but I'm much stronger now.

Would you prosecute ? he has been removed from our patient list. Or is that vindictive, a waste of time since he didn't physically assault me?

OP posts:
DarlingNikita · 02/01/2019 11:22

Glad you're going ahead, OP. Who on earth do some people think they are?!? He needs to be shown that you can't go round talking to people – women (bet he wouldn't speak to a male GP the way he spoke to you) – like that.

ratherbeshowjumping · 02/01/2019 11:23

Please prosecute. That's terrifying.

I hope you are OK and so sorry that you had to go through this Flowers

Bobbybear10 · 02/01/2019 11:27

What a horrid little man!

I think you are absolutely doing the right thing OP.

From how he reacted it could be acid or something equally as horrible he throws the next time! He needs to learn that be cannot behave that way, it’s not like he was pissy and annoyed, called you an idiot or something then apologised when he had calmed down (it would still have been completely inappropriate but maybe not quite as bad) he was overly aggressive which leads you to believe it’s not the first time he has behaved in that way.

strangerthongs · 02/01/2019 11:27

why would you even consider not proceeding?

What if he has a wife and kids at home that he behaves in this manner to? I'm really shocked that, as a doctor, you are not even taking that into consideration and the help this prosecution could potentially provide them.

And you'd get much more respect from your patients and colleagues if you make a stand.

I would seriously question the competence and professionalism of my GP if I knew he/she dismissed violence.

YeOldeTrout · 02/01/2019 11:28

Only you can decide if you can stomach the hassle. I think it's perfectly acceptable to prosecute if you feel up to it.

MissEliza · 02/01/2019 11:31

I'm actually pissed off with the police for even asking you as it's put doubts in your mind. You should not be treated like this. Go for it.

ohtheholidays · 02/01/2019 11:32

I'm glad your going ahead with it and I hope your okay Flowers

What he did is unacceptable.

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 02/01/2019 11:33

It doesn't matter what the piece of equipment is! Obviously it wasn't to save his life or he wouldn't have been at home to be interviewed by police. There is never ever an excuse to scream at or assault someone who is just at work doing their job.

Things won't change until everyone in society know that assaults on people providing public services (NHS staff, Tain and bus staff, retail, post office etc) will never be tolerated and prosecution will be sought.

when the hell did it become ok to assault and abuse the people who work in these rolls

On a basic human level, behaviour and attitudes like this are disgusting and they are eroding our society!

OrgyofSausages · 02/01/2019 11:34

Yes, please do go ahead with it. His next offence may well be more serious if he isn't dealt with.

Disfordarkchocolate · 02/01/2019 11:35

I would support a prosecution, violence against those who work in the public sector needs to be taken more seriously.

Eliza9917 · 02/01/2019 11:36

I'd prosecute.

What did he want? Syringes?

Jux · 02/01/2019 11:38

Well done, op, I think it's the right thing to do. Too people think that HCPs are fair game, and that they themselves can do whatever they like because it's your job to look after them.

Good luck. I hope it's not tumatic for you and you have plenty of good support.

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 02/01/2019 11:38

To be honest in your and other nhs rolls it shouldn't be up to you to to run your self through the mill deciding if you should or not.

It should be a basic zero tolerance policy which the management support the staff member and pursue prosecution on the staff members behalf.

You give your statement and if needed appear in court but your management team liaise with police etc on your behalf for everything else, leaving you to get on with your job.

Original poster
lilybetsy · 02/01/2019 11:43

Ginky thats what would happen to a member of my staff, but I am (one of three) owners of the business. So I AM the management top of the tree !

OP posts:
Original poster
lilybetsy · 02/01/2019 11:44

I won't give more details as I must protect confidentiality and not write anything that could be used to identify this individual.

OP posts:
Juells · 02/01/2019 11:48

In your shoes I wouldn't want to proceed with a prosecution, I'd prefer to ask the police to issue a caution. He sounds unhinged, I wouldn't want to attract his attention. Cowardly, but do you really need the stress in your life of having to go to court?

ReanimatedSGB · 02/01/2019 11:48

Yes, proceed. This tosser needs to be taught a lesson.

SauvignonBlanche · 02/01/2019 11:49

If you accept that behaviour for yourself, you’re accepting it towards all your colleagues.

Butchyrestingface · 02/01/2019 11:52

Would you prosecute ? he has been removed from our patient list. Or is that vindictive, a waste of time since he didn't physically assault me?

Abso-fucking-lutely. 100% yes. Never mind anyone else's safety. This bloke knows where you work every day and threatened to kill you.

Juells · 02/01/2019 11:55

This bloke knows where you work every day and threatened to kill you.

That's why I'd go with a police caution rather than meeting him again in court. Principles are all very well, but I'd want to be safe.

Inertia · 02/01/2019 11:57

Yes, you should prosecute- it wouldn't be vindictive, it would be taking action to protect yourself, your staff, and the wider community.

Disfordarkchocolate · 02/01/2019 11:58

He also needs to be more than just removed from your patient list, he needs to be registered at a practice who accept violent patients so his new GP can be fully aware of his previous behaviour and put a plan in place to protect all the staff.

QueenDoria · 02/01/2019 12:07

Please do. Too many shouty sweary men around ...

Bluesmartiesarebest · 02/01/2019 12:07

He threw something at you which counts as an assault.

If you prosecute perhaps he will be encouraged to seek help for his drink or drug problems. If you don’t prosecute there is no possibility of his behaviour changing and another assault becomes increasingly likely. Could you get a legal protection order at the same time banning him from the immediate area around the practice? If would hopefully be an extra incentive for him to stay away.

AbbieLexie · 02/01/2019 12:08

Prosecute. It is not acceptable you or any member of frontline staff are threatened /abused in any way. Ignoring means it becomes acceptable behaviour.

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