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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To explain what an in law is?

49 replies

bigaba · 01/01/2019 23:43

Oh my goodness, I feel stupid right now, but this is something I've never known.

So hypothetically, I have a DH and we both have brothers. I understand that DH's brother would be my brother-in-law and my brother would be DH's brother in law.
But Would our brothers be brothers-in-law to each other???

Sorry if this is the blondest question Blush

OP posts:
Singlenotsingle · 01/01/2019 23:46

No. They wouldn't be related.

AornisHades · 01/01/2019 23:46

They aren't BIL to each other. I don't think there is a description for it.

Original poster
bigaba · 01/01/2019 23:47

@Singlenotsingle thank you Blush

OP posts:
TropicPlunder · 01/01/2019 23:49

No.... but I sometimes refer to my 'sister in law's sister'.....which sounds daft. Hmm

WinterfellWench · 01/01/2019 23:52

They are not related at all, no.

thehollyandtheIrene · 02/01/2019 00:00

Haha, I had to explain this to my DH not that long ago, it took bloody ages!!

I still don't think he gets it, just nodded and pretended so I wouldn't start using the pen and paper to draw out family trees.

Original poster
bigaba · 02/01/2019 00:01

@thehollyandtheIrene I almost started trying to do that myself to figure out how it works😂 I only realised I didn't get it last week, it's something I've never realised I didn't understand but I never have apparently!!

OP posts:
Sugarhunnyicedtea · 02/01/2019 00:04

There is, apparently, a description for this relationship. I think it's co brother in law. We found it when trying to settle an argument a while ago so I may have remembered wrongly.

Original poster
bigaba · 02/01/2019 00:06

@Sugarhunnyicedtea I think that could be describing a sibling in law's spouse? I could also be wrong!

OP posts:
Sugarhunnyicedtea · 02/01/2019 00:08

Aah. That may make more sense.

DramaAlpaca · 02/01/2019 00:08

As others have said they aren't related at all, but you'd find my extended family very confusing because we all call each other BIL & SIL even though we are actually not. I think it's because we are all quite close & see a lot of each other, it's just easier.

NikiFree · 02/01/2019 00:10

Blondest question Hmm

DaphneDiligaf · 02/01/2019 00:12

We call them Outlaws.

RuggerHug · 02/01/2019 00:17

I remember a funeral years ago where a relative introduced her friend she brought with her to the widow as 'This is my ...brother in laws....sister? in law? Is that right?'.
When you get to that stage of asking after 40 years in a serious situation, give up!

Justaboy · 02/01/2019 00:20

Generaly relatives you get on with are In-laws, ones you don't are
Out-Laws.

Quite simple really:)

Carter86 · 02/01/2019 00:23

Not unless you call it brother-inl-aw-in-law

TinklyLittleLaugh · 02/01/2019 00:23

Interesting. My sister has lovely SiLs (her DH's sisters) and my kids get on very well with their cousins' cousins.

DP has one unmarried childless brother, so I have no SiLs of my own and am quite envious.

whitershadeofpale · 02/01/2019 00:32

I don’t think so but I’ve noticed that Kate and Meaghan are referred to as SILs, but I don’t think they are.

TornFromTheInside · 02/01/2019 00:37

The way to think of it is this...

You have a real brother or sister.
If they marry, you inherit their partner as a new brother or sister 'in law' - due to the marriage. That's it.
The other brothers and sisters of the 'in law' people never married into your family. They have no formal relation.

GreenTulips · 02/01/2019 00:40

They are married so yes they are sisters in law

However there is no relation between Megan and Kate’s sister or brother

Gwenhwyfar · 02/01/2019 00:44

"You have a real brother or sister.
If they marry, you inherit their partner as a new brother or sister 'in law' - due to the marriage. That's it."

That's not it at all as BiL and SiL can also be your spouse's sibling.

Technically Meghan and Kate aren't sisters in law to each other, that's correct, but I don't think there's any harm in using the term for that kind of relationship.

PetronellaRabbit · 02/01/2019 00:44

BIL’s (second) wife and I refer to each other as SILs even though he’s now onto wife #3. I totally love her though, and have no other SILs (apart from wife #3)

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 02/01/2019 00:48

I think the easiest way to describe it is.

When a couple get married

She becomes part of/related to his family and he becomes part of/related to her family but the families don't don't become related.

Obviously substitute he or she depending on the people in the relationship so gay or straight etc

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 02/01/2019 00:50

Sorry pressed too soon.

That changes though for any children born as they are automatically related to everyone in both families.

TornFromTheInside · 02/01/2019 00:52

That's not it at all as BiL and SiL can also be your spouse's sibling.

erm, that's the same thing. Since your spouse has a sibling, they inherited you by law (marriage). Since the relationship is reciprocal, it's the same thing. It's just that you're looking at it from the non-sibling point of view, whereas I'm describing it from the sibling view.

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