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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To explain what an in law is?

49 replies

bigaba · 01/01/2019 23:43

Oh my goodness, I feel stupid right now, but this is something I've never known.

So hypothetically, I have a DH and we both have brothers. I understand that DH's brother would be my brother-in-law and my brother would be DH's brother in law.
But Would our brothers be brothers-in-law to each other???

Sorry if this is the blondest question Blush

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 02/01/2019 00:56

Yes but kids have blood aunts and uncles and non blood aunts and uncles don't they? Certainly my kids feel no attachment to their non blood uncle now my sister has divorced him (and it seems to be mutual), despite him being a big part of their lives for many years.

JellySlice · 02/01/2019 01:01

So my brother's wife is my SIL, and my dh's sister is another SIL to me, but the two SILs have no relationship to each other.

What is my brothers wife to my dh? Or my dh's BIL (his sister's dh) to me?

GreenTulips · 02/01/2019 01:04

What is my brothers wife to my dh?

His sister in-law because she is married to his brother in-law

Or my dh's BIL (his sister's dh) to me?

Same His sister is your sister in law and he is your brother in law

Your brother/sister and DH brother/sister are the ones not related

Jux · 02/01/2019 01:07

And (just to complicate matters further!) your cousin's children are your cousins once removed. (I think!)

MargotLovedTom1 · 02/01/2019 01:14

Of course Meghan and Kate are sisters-in-law: they're married to brothers. The equivalent to the situation in the OP is if the OP was Kate Cambridge and was asking if Harry and James (her brother) are brothers-in-law. No they're not. But Harry and Meghan are her brother-in-law and sister-in-law.

huggybear · 02/01/2019 01:16

Hang on, since when did your BIL and SIL also become your spouse's? I would always describe my husband's brother's wife as my BIL's wife, certainly not my SIL.

huggybear · 02/01/2019 01:18

Don't know tinkly, I've never made any distinction, I love my aunties and uncles the same. Guess if depends on your family dynamic.

TornFromTheInside · 02/01/2019 01:30

Is fanny my aunt or not?

MargotLovedTom1 · 02/01/2019 01:32

I think it's more unusual to refer to a woman as your BIL's wife rather than your SIL.

Google sister-in-law...

sister-in-law
/ˈsɪstərɪnlɔː/
noun
the sister of one's wife or husband.
the wife of one's brother or brother-in-law.

AGnu · 02/01/2019 01:37

I think I'm going to start referring to my sister as my sister-in-law's sister-in-law. Just to confuse everyone. Grin

jessstan2 · 02/01/2019 01:41

I don't know, a sort of brother in law, by marriage, I suppose. If they have wives they will be your sisters in law.

An in law is the opposite of an outlaw, I presume.

Gth1234 · 02/01/2019 03:46

I think that religiously, as you and your spouse are one flesh, then her sisters are your sisters, and her brother in law is your brother in law.

You used not to be able to marry your brother's widow (as Henry 8th did), but they changed this after the First World War.

I refer to my wife's sibling partners as in-laws, as it's easier to do so, and older novels (Jane Austen type novels) refer to partners siblings as their own.

Happilyacceptingcookies · 02/01/2019 04:24

I don't like my brothers wife so I don't call her a SIL, I refer to her as brother's wife!

Gwenhwyfar · 02/01/2019 12:08

"You used not to be able to marry your brother's widow (as Henry 8th did), "

Although it's encouraged in the Bible.

Firesuit · 02/01/2019 12:20

You used not to be able to marry your brother's widow

In some cultures you are actually obliged to. (I think polygamous one, so marrying her is a way of taking responsibility for supporting her, it doesn't stop you also marrying anyone else you might actually want to.)

TinklyLittleLaugh · 02/01/2019 12:45

Gth. So could Ptivate Peaceful not have married his brother's widow then? I'm oddly gutted by that.

ItsQuietTime · 02/01/2019 14:24

In law stuff can be confusing, I don't consider there to be any relationship between my Mother and my MIL, but I saw something on wiki calling them co-MIL's. Hmm

SerenDippitty · 02/01/2019 14:36

I don’t think so but I’ve noticed that Kate and Meaghan are referred to as SILs, but I don’t think they are.

I don’t think they are either. Kate is Harry’s sister in law and Meghan is William’s sister in law, but they aren’t sisters in law to each other, neither is married to the other’s brother?

Gth1234 · 02/01/2019 14:54

Quotes:

"I don’t think so but I’ve noticed that Kate and Meaghan are referred to as SILs, but I don’t think they are.

I don’t think they are either. Kate is Harry’s sister in law and Meghan is William’s sister in law, but they aren’t sisters in law to each other, neither is married to the other’s brother?"

of course they are SIL. What else are they? They aren't strangers, or mere nodding acquaintances.

ChipsCheeseAndBeans · 02/01/2019 14:54

This hurts my head.

So my husbands sister is my sister in law.

Is her husband my brother in law?

Or is he just brother in law to my husband.

Is he still uncle to my daughter?

MargotLovedTom1 · 02/01/2019 17:41

Yes, he's your brother in law, and your daughter's uncle through marriage.

elvis86 · 02/01/2019 17:49

Of course the Kate and Meghan are sisters-in-law - they're married to brothers?

As others have said, those with no relationship would be, for example, Harry and Pippa. Pippa is William's SIL but not Harry's.

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