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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want my own bathroom

66 replies

PooleySpooley · 01/01/2019 20:50

Just went to the loo.

14 yr old DSD has been in there before me.

Walked in and got wet feet as she’s had a shower and soaked the floor. She has been asked to clean up after herself. Grabbed her towel (as she is leaving tomorrow and it’ll be washed anyway) to soak up the water. It’s been put over the bannister to dry but it’s covered in blood. She knows just to say and its fine.

I then sit on the loo and the loo roll is empty but the roll still on the holder.

There are 5000 bog rolls in the cupboard in the bathroom they know this.

Beside the empty bin there is a tampon applicator. DSD has been asked twice this week to make sure they go in the bin.

In the bin there is a ditched sanitary towel not folded with its contents all to see. There are bags in the drawer 2 cm from the bin to place these in.

FFS

OP posts:

LagunaBubbles · 02/01/2019 01:24

I do ask her nicely to clean up

And that's clearly not working. So you need to get a bit tougher.

Silkei · 02/01/2019 01:38

OMG that’s disgusting and totally unacceptable. She needs to not leave visible blood and used sanitary supplies lying around. I’m afraid I’d be taking a very hard line with this because frankly it’s gross. As a parent you can’t let her go into an adult relationship or house share without basic hygiene skills. Imo you should punish harshly by removing privileges or whatever else works for you until she learns to be clean enough to live with other people.

HeebieJeebies456 · 02/01/2019 01:44

you could always shove her wet towel and dirty pad into her bag so she finds them when she gets back to her mums!

jessstan2 · 02/01/2019 01:45

At fourteen, she is old enough to know what is acceptable when it comes to personal hygiene. The clue is the word, "Personal". I'd be upset by all that in the bathroom, she really must have it impressed upon her that clearing up the bathroom and disposing of sanitary products is her job to do, washing her own underwear too. It's about self respect.

You'll get there.

In the meantime, if you can manage to build yourself a bathroom, do so. Sheer joy!

Walkingdeadfangirl · 02/01/2019 02:44

Why would any sane adult suggest posting anything on the internet about their teenagers period? FFS

Teenagers are like this, parents get used to it. They will grow up and learn to be hygienic and responsible. Get used to it, cut her some slack.

Original poster

PooleySpooley · 02/01/2019 11:37

Teenagers are like this, parents get used to it. They will grow up and learn to be hygienic and responsible. Get used to it, cut her some slack

I think it’s our responsibility to show them this is not acceptable.

OP posts:

Silkei · 02/01/2019 13:05

Teenagers are like this, parents get used to it

Er no. Your child needs to be taught to be clean and hygienic, and to respect your home and possessions. I bet you’re the sort of parent who lets your kid jump on the sofa too, because “that’s what kids are like” and this is why some people’s kids are not welcome in my home

user1483390742 · 02/01/2019 13:07

Threaten to put your used san towels in her bedroom bin!

Original poster

PooleySpooley · 02/01/2019 13:15

My own DD who has now left home never did this and I hardly ever knew she had her period. Not that it’s anything to be ashamed of but I don’t see the need to literally shove it in everyone else’s face either.

They seem to get through an inordinate amount of towels and tampons too.

DH acts like I am nagging sometimes but he does back me up and “has a word” which seems to do absolutely nothing.

OP posts:

Helendee · 02/01/2019 13:52

How shocking to advise the OP to take pictures and humiliate her DD!
Some ‘mothers’ would really do that? Really?

Original poster

PooleySpooley · 02/01/2019 13:59

I wouldn’t subject anyone on social media to have to look at it - it traumatises me enough

OP posts:

fireworksscarethedogs · 03/01/2019 05:20

I don't think it's normal for teenagers at all. I would have been mortified to know someone had found my tampon lying around.
The only person I knew like this was in a house share in my early twenties. She left her sanitary stuff out the same way. She still lives like a grot.
Anyone saying it's normal is probably living in a certain level of filth that they're accustomed to.

GreenDragon75 · 03/01/2019 06:11

I’m with turning the WiFi off until she has cleaned it. Tell her what you are doing and why and that leaving mess like this is disgusting and totally unacceptable.
Turn it back on when she has cleaned it and repeat every time.

calmsealife · 03/01/2019 06:14

So you won't do anything about it yourself you just wanted a moan? If you don't do anything about it for it to stop then stop moaning! Only yourself to blame.

Oldraver · 03/01/2019 12:25

Well you probably wouldn't have to actually put it online...the threat maybe enough

Dotty1970 · 03/01/2019 12:31

I feel your pain, mine are older children by the way and I regularly have....
(BTW I'm constantly telling them) water all over the floor after showers, no wiping down, we on the toilet seats, wee on the floor and up the wall once!, poo on the seat 🤮, wet towels always thrown on the floor etc etc I'm sick of shouting about it, going to start taking pocket monies I think

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