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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want my own bathroom

66 replies

PooleySpooley · 01/01/2019 20:50

Just went to the loo.

14 yr old DSD has been in there before me.

Walked in and got wet feet as she’s had a shower and soaked the floor. She has been asked to clean up after herself. Grabbed her towel (as she is leaving tomorrow and it’ll be washed anyway) to soak up the water. It’s been put over the bannister to dry but it’s covered in blood. She knows just to say and its fine.

I then sit on the loo and the loo roll is empty but the roll still on the holder.

There are 5000 bog rolls in the cupboard in the bathroom they know this.

Beside the empty bin there is a tampon applicator. DSD has been asked twice this week to make sure they go in the bin.

In the bin there is a ditched sanitary towel not folded with its contents all to see. There are bags in the drawer 2 cm from the bin to place these in.

FFS Shock

OP posts:
FritzyMousey · 01/01/2019 21:40

Take the lid off the bin and put it on her bed for her to deal with. Ditto the applicator and dirty towel. She’s not responding to you asking nicely and it’s pointless cleaning up after her, she’ll never learn, she needs to see how mucky she’s being.

GreenDinosaur · 01/01/2019 21:42

I'm quite shocked that people thought I meant actually humiliate the girl online, that's awful!
It wouldn't do her any harm to think how it looks though instead of just expecting you to clean up her mess.

GreenDinosaur · 01/01/2019 21:43

I'm quite shocked that people thought I meant actually humiliate the girl online, that's awful!
It wouldn't do her any harm to think how it looks though instead of just expecting you to clean up her mess.

R3b3kah · 01/01/2019 21:44

That is disgusting and I would try being a little tougher on her...

As for the rediculous comments about posting online... how old are you? Seriously grow up

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 01/01/2019 21:48

I would never post it online.

I love her Grin

OP posts:
DillyDilly · 01/01/2019 21:49

Keyboard warriors here, suggesting you take photos and post online.

I’d bring her back up to the bathroom and point out exactly what she needs to do now to tidy up her mess and wait outside the door while she does it. Next time it happens, repeat and repeat each and every time.

Remind her throughout the day when she’s having her period to remember to tidy up bathroom after herself.

madmum5811 · 01/01/2019 21:50

Oh for heavens sake be the grown up. Turn off the tv, grab her mobile, and let her clean up.

Original poster
PooleySpooley · 01/01/2019 21:53

I do ask her nicely to clean up.

I am just sick of it.

If it was my kid DH would go ballistic.

OP posts:
echt · 01/01/2019 21:57

What's her dad doing about all this?

donajimena · 01/01/2019 22:00

You're being a sap. Totally and utterly pathetic. There is nothing wrong going Defcon One on occasion. But you know best.

MrsDrudge · 01/01/2019 22:01

Ask her how she’d feel if you left your used pads etc around the bathroom for her to clean up.

Babysgotyoureyes · 01/01/2019 22:03

I would just explain to her that at some point she may be sharing with others in college and that this really is not the way to go. At 14 she needs to learn basic hygiene skills. I take it you live with her dad. Maybe he should speak to her. I would think that should put an end to the situation fairly sharpishSmile not a conversation any young female wants to have with her dad.

fireworksscarethedogs · 01/01/2019 23:45

If it was my kid DH would go ballistic.

Eh? But you won't get angry at her? Does he often go ballistic at your kids? Confused

YellowOcelot · 01/01/2019 23:50

Whenever my DSD does this, I tell DH that I want it sorted. He can choose to clean up after DSD or get her to clean up after herself, I don't care. But he knows it's his responsibility to either parent her or face the inconvenience of running around after her.

Titsywoo · 01/01/2019 23:55

Dd is like this. She's a lovely girl but they are totally ditzy at this age. I do tell her off every time and she's getting better. Luckily in Feb the kids will have their own bathroom! Can't wait. And I'll be making them clean it!

NooMe · 01/01/2019 23:58

Has the sanitary towel on show happened before and have you spoken to her about it before? At 14 years old, someone seeing my used sanitary towel would be enough for me to make sure I tidy up after myself in future.

7yo7yo · 02/01/2019 00:00

If your partner would go apeshit at your kid why can’t you u say anything to his??
Or
Call him and tell him to clean it.

LavaLampLover · 02/01/2019 00:01

I'd talk to her dad and ask him to have the chat and explain you've asked someone many times without going nuclear, and that if he can't talk the info into her that you will lose it.

Coralnails · 02/01/2019 00:06

Ffs would people really threaten to photograph a 14 year old girls period mess and put it online.

Some of you are sadistic cunts aren't you?

Op teenagers are renowned for being grubby messy so and so's.

I think you need to just calmly call her back to clean up the mess and make sure she does it properly.

Mobile phone ban until it's cleaned?

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 02/01/2019 00:06

DSS aged a bit younger, around 11 or 12 I think, was similarly revolting. Would piss all over the floor and the seat, not clean it up, leave skids everywhere.

Going ballistic (me and his dad) didn't help. So the final straw was when I went for a wee early, before work. He wasn't up yet but had clearly been for a wee because the seat and floor was covered, I'd walked and sat in it before I realised Angry.

Basically I got him up and made him clean it, with spray bleach and toilet roll. Told him if it happened again, each time I would get him up to clean it, because it was absolutely disgusting.

Pleased to say he didn't do it again, he's now almost 18 and he still likes us! Grin

SteveMcqueensJeans · 02/01/2019 00:10

Gather up offending items and dump in her room. Repeat as necessary. If she chooses to live in her own grimness that's her choice

Thetigerwhocameto · 02/01/2019 00:12

😂 DH would leave skid marks everywhere when we first moved I together. It got to the point that I would just photograph them and send them to him (not online), he soon got the message

Luvey · 02/01/2019 00:18

Sounds exactly like all my daughter's when they were teenagers !! A tampon (used) was left on the floor and the dog got hold of it. The dog was going round the house all day with this pink thing hanging out of its mouth before we realised ! Was the offending embarrassed - not one bit. No shame at all.
Teen girls are rank Hmm

ReaganSomerset · 02/01/2019 00:22

You could try gentle peer pressure. When she has friends round, come bustling in, ask how their day was, when they ask you, say it was good but on the way home you had to use a public toilet and it was in a disgusting state... Give an example, let the girls talk about how gross it is and what they've seen in school toilets etc and what sort of person would do that... DD will take note because it comes from her friends, it won't embarrass her and if you do it well enough (at a time she's not on her period) DD shouldn't even know you're aiming it at her. Might be tricky to slot into conversation subtly enough though.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 02/01/2019 00:49

Turn off the wi-fi, change the password and then change the connection name to "PeopleWhoLeaveTheBathroomCleanGetTheNewWifiCode".

Then say nothing, leave her for as long as necessary to discover it and I think you'll have a reformed, contrite young woman coming to you and asking to show you a now-clean bathroom before too long.

Repeat as many times as necessary until the lesson is ingrained.

From all you say, she sounds like a great kid - just a few rough teenage edges to smooth out.

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