Was this completely derogatory?

[gertrud]

For those who don't like tattoos, I don't need told, DP and I hardly have any between us but both of us personally like them

He keeps saying about how - at some point in the future - he wants a neck tattoo. Now I'm all for tattoos and I'm all for not telling him what to do but I feel like this is a bit far to have tattoos on your neck. They'd be so visible in professional manners etc.

I've always wanted a small one on my sternum. Something small and feminine just because I think it's a nice area and I'd like to look at it.

When I made a comment about how I wouldn't appreciate him getting tattoos on his neck, he made a comment about how he wouldn't like me getting one on my sternum but he doesn't comment. When I questioned why as I couldn't think of any valid reasons for that as opposed to have them all on your neck, he said, 'because it'd make you look like a slag'

He wouldn't apologise. He's always had a problem when I've said I'd want a tattoo there (like getting a tattoo means I'd be getting it out all the time?) The comment stuck with me but he's sticking by it.

AIBU? It wasn't even in a jokey way (which I don't think would be acceptable either), more in a way of looking at me in disgust.

Better to look like a slag than a serial killer with a neck tattoo

Also lots of workplaces ask employees to cover visible tattoos, mine does. My colleague has arm tattoos and she has been asked to wear long sleeves during the summer. Another colleague has to cover his neck tattoos with a button up shirt or a polo neck. That's ok in the winter but not during hot weather so something to consider before getting a tattoo.

Better to look like a slag than a serial killer with a neck tattoo

Wow

I have a stunningly beautiful friend with neck tattoos and she's definitely not a serial killer, she's a highly rated tattooist and a mum of 2!

I also have a friend with facial tattoos, care to judge him?

His views were steeped in misogyny.

I wouldn’t be ok with that.

What I actually think he’s done is have a tantrum because you discussed legitimate concerns and he did the pathetic “well if I can’t, you can’t”.

Childish and very unattractive.

I think neck tattoos are awful.
It will limit his job options I can guarantee that.
Where I work all tattoos have to be covered up.
His use of the word slag is worrying .
It is a mysoginistic term used to deride women.
There is no male equivalent. If a man has sex he isn't called a slag is he.
I'd call him up on his use of the word.

This is interesting, if you don't like each other's placements of tattoos will you be respecting each other's opinions & wishes and not get either of them or will you both be exercising your right that it's your bodies and you'll both do as you please?

I hate the word 'slag'

I don't think, if done tastefully (small and discreetly) that a unalome would look tacky but boob tattoos make me shudder

Neck tattoos - some people can carry them off, some just look awful, I personally think that they generally look better on someone who has a full sleeve, or lots of ink elsewhere

Is he uncomfortable with the placing of the tattoo because it will more than likely mean you’ll have to expose yourself to the tattooist? I know you wouldn’t be lying there bare chested, but perhaps the first image that popped into his head?

Wow I have a sternum tattoo, it’s shit, I had it done at 16, but don’t want the risk of removal so considering a cover up.
Managed to not shag anyone else during my 20 year marriage, but hell yes that bit of ink on me totally makes me a slag and “cheap and tacky” (thanks PP).

God people do like to destroy each other over meaningless things don’t they? He should not use that word, he’s an arse sorry. But he was obviously just lashing out as you questioned the neck tattoo.

The logic is a neck tattoo is harder to cover in a professional environment BUT I’ve found tattoos in general are becoming more accepted in most fields of work anyway now, drawing the line at facial.

I am starting to see more and more visible tattoos and I work in a "professional" industry/environment.

And the more I see, the more I like actually. Maybe not shitty prison ones, but good ink is good ink. Some tattooists have fantastic art skills and their work is stunning.

It's not as cut and dried as some pp are making out. I'm a recruiting manager for one thing, so the theory is already disproved.

Although just FYI OP, I used my Chrome dictionary widget to see what Unalome meant. Apparently it means "boredom" in Hungarian, so don't take a summer holiday there

(Proper google tells me more usefully!)

So you're worried about his job prospects with a neck tattoo and he's worried that you'll start showing off your boobs and become a slag.

Your concerns are valid, his are not. He's a sexist twat and I would want the tattoo more than ever.

I have a rather large sternum tattoo.
My partner hated the fact that someone else would be so up close and personal with my boobs :P
He wouldn't have stopped me getting it from a male tattoo artist but he was much happier when I found a female tattoo artist who closed the shop down so that no one would see.
That's probably what the issue is! Go for a sternum tattoo. So painful but so worth it. :)