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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I snapped but wibu

41 replies

Raggedyaine · 31/12/2018 23:03

I have cooked and cleaned over Christmas, as usual. Dh worked most days. For NYE we agreed on a repeat Christmas dinner (Turkey, roasties, etc). So he came home at 5, i had the house tidied, dc and dog walked, fire lit and dinner on. He came in and watched tv. I set the table and got drinks and everything ready. Called everyone to table and dh looked at the knife i was using to cut the turkey. It was a too-short one he had sharpened months ago-perfectly adequate. I had asked him several times to sharpen the others (yes, i should be able to do this myself but my way doesnt work as well and he did a good job with the first). Everyone was at table, drinks poured, roasties and veg and warmed plates in situ. Turkey was mostly carved and just needed to be brought to the table and dispensed and dh said: I'll go out (to his workshop) And sharpen these now. I said please don't, dinner is ready. He said ffs it'll only take 5 minutes. I said: if you go out that door I will lock it and you can sit out there while we eat our dinner. He came in and with lots of fuck you's sat and ate.

He ruined new years eve dinner. He thinks I did by "fussing". Who is being more unreasonable (as both of us probably are a bit).

OP posts:
greendale17 · 31/12/2018 23:05

I don’t see why you didn’t allow him to just sharpen the knife quickly.

Purpleartichoke · 31/12/2018 23:06

The food is warm and he wants to walk away from the table for something that can wait? You were not unreasonable.

Raggedyaine · 31/12/2018 23:06

Because dinner was served. Then was not the time!

OP posts:
FourEyesGood · 31/12/2018 23:07

Six of one; half a dozen of the other.

MickHucknallspinkpancakes · 31/12/2018 23:07

He had plenty of time whilst watching telly to do this while you did everything.

I think he was embarrassed and tried to deflect it back on you.

Sorry it ruined your dinner.

ChrisjenAvasarala · 31/12/2018 23:07

He's a knob. Why did he think it was ok to sit on his arse while you did all the work? Doesn't matter if he's working; he still needs to contribute to the housework. But nope, he sat on his ass and then when you are all ready for diner he decides that you'll need to all wait while he does something he's been asked to do repeatedly and much earlier?

Selfish man. I sugest you send him out to so the knives now and lock the door until tomorrow.

Cel982 · 31/12/2018 23:08

The first time my husband said "Fuck you" to me, especially in front of our children, he'd be out the door.

Raggedyaine · 31/12/2018 23:11

i suggest you send him out to so the knives now and lock the door until tomorrow

See I know it's kind of 6 of one half dozen of another but chrisjen's way of thinking is how I am leaning. Maybe it's the loss of my tether at the end of a long Christmas.

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 31/12/2018 23:12

How old are the DC? Whatever, I am not sure I would agree with someone saying lots of "fuck you's" in front of them.
Given dinner was being served, I would've expected him to sit down and eat it. The time for sharpening the knife was before dinner (I can understand he may not have realised), or afterwards so that it was ready for next time.

Thehop · 31/12/2018 23:13

You both did

You really over reacted but I understand how frustrating stuff like that is

He should t have spoken to you like he did

LovingLola · 31/12/2018 23:14

I feel sorry for your children having to watch and listen to their parents behaving like shit

Bumblebee2302 · 31/12/2018 23:16

I don't think ywbu at all

but I am disappointed that your snap wasn't followed by a fart

Orlande · 31/12/2018 23:17

You did overreact but sounds like the last straw?

He was being utterly ridiculous fussing about knives when everyone is ready to eat the meal you've spent time making.

Swearing at you, especially in front of the children, is totally unacceptable.

Raggedyaine · 31/12/2018 23:18

Yeah I feel sorry for them too Lola they were both very subdued which makes me feel terrible but even more cross with him for his total wrong call. My patience runeth very thin at this stage. We're all snuggled up now (well, me and the kids) but we can't re do dinner

OP posts:
ChrisjenAvasarala · 31/12/2018 23:18

My read on this situation is that this is regular behaviour from him. If it's a one off and he just wasn't thinking properly then that's not so bad and easy to get over. But if this is his usual attitude then I stand by my first comment.

XmasPostmanBos · 31/12/2018 23:20

I can understand why you were annoyed but you shouldn't have snapped as this led to the whole thing being uncomfortable for the dc. So I think you shoud have gritted your teeth and been a bit more diplomatic and had a discussion about his behaviour later on, however at least you didn't snap and fart.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 31/12/2018 23:21

Of course he was a knob. 5 minutes to piss around sorting the knife out would have meant the food was going cold.

Wine OP

Justaboy · 31/12/2018 23:23

You can see why the solicting profession is really rushed of its feet come January;(

Singlenotsingle · 31/12/2018 23:24

There's another thread like this, about the DH sulking because the OP asked if there were more vegetables, and there weren't. What on Earth is the matter with these men?? I'm at complete loss to understand it!

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 31/12/2018 23:25

Your husband said ‘fuck you’ to you?!

Yeah, that wouldn’t happen twice in my house. I can’t even picture my husband saying that to me, no.

thesnapandfartisinfallible · 31/12/2018 23:26

But did you fart?!

Totopoly · 31/12/2018 23:30

thesnapandfartisinfallible, you beat me to it. I so desperately wanted this thread to be "I snapped and farted"!

thesnapandfartisinfallible · 31/12/2018 23:34

Totopoly Grin

Wearywithteens · 31/12/2018 23:34

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Bluntness100 · 31/12/2018 23:34

Very odd thing for him to want to go to his workshop and sharpen knives when dinner is served and the kids are sitting at the table, and then give you lots of fuck you's.

Really unpleasant behaviour. Is he often like this?

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