I snapped but wibu

[Raggedyaine]

I have cooked and cleaned over Christmas, as usual. Dh worked most days. For NYE we agreed on a repeat Christmas dinner (Turkey, roasties, etc). So he came home at 5, i had the house tidied, dc and dog walked, fire lit and dinner on. He came in and watched tv. I set the table and got drinks and everything ready. Called everyone to table and dh looked at the knife i was using to cut the turkey. It was a too-short one he had sharpened months ago-perfectly adequate. I had asked him several times to sharpen the others (yes, i should be able to do this myself but my way doesnt work as well and he did a good job with the first). Everyone was at table, drinks poured, roasties and veg and warmed plates in situ. Turkey was mostly carved and just needed to be brought to the table and dispensed and dh said: I'll go out (to his workshop) And sharpen these now. I said please don't, dinner is ready. He said ffs it'll only take 5 minutes. I said: if you go out that door I will lock it and you can sit out there while we eat our dinner. He came in and with lots of fuck you's sat and ate.

He ruined new years eve dinner. He thinks I did by "fussing". Who is being more unreasonable (as both of us probably are a bit).

I agree with you, it was stupid timing on his part. Tbh, I would have let him go and sharpen knives (dh would have taken 20 minutes if he had, say 4 knives to sharpen as he uses oil and a whetstone), while he played with knives I would have dished up and we'd all have fiished and left the table by the tihe came back. His dinner would slowly congealing on his plate.

I am on your side but i think you should just have let him sharpen the knife but eat without him while he faffed.

he hopefully now knows he should have sharpened the bloody knives.

Ha sorry this made me laugh and feel better... Yesterday I made a lovely roast for family & in laws. All good no knife issues. Still mid tidying after DH & INLAWS come in to kitchen to tell me with much hilarity that dog has popped & peed in the living room. ( Cracker related shock - I saw him scarper but this "result" is unusual for him!).

Anyway, totally pissed me off after all the work / nice food and hosting.

I was mad and let them know, saying " it's all very well you standing there pissing yourselves laughing over it!" 🙈

What was I expecting some kind of secondary remorse over a pets misdemeanor!??

Just totally pissed me off, I just snapped. It gets worse. MIL has a catheter and if she could piss herself she would probs be delighted.

Anyway, what can you do! I was being unreasonable but everyone else was acting like children!

Don't worry OP!

Honestly, you were in the right about sharpening the knife but if my dh threatened to lock me in the garden Id probably tell him to get to fuck too.

Its done OP. Yeah its annoying. You felt he had taken the piss and left it all to you. He was a knob but then maybe you shouldve told him how you felt. Never mind. 2019 here soon. Fresh start an all that! Nye like christmas people expect it to be perfect- rarely is. 363 other days for plenty of good days

Wow, he is totally BU. You already had the turkey mostly carved anyway. You said "please don't go outside" nicely as everything was served and ready, he insisted and tried to go against your plea. I can't believe anyone is defending him, what a dick! Not to mention the fuck yous. Sorry OP, sympathy from me and hope you are OK.

If he said “fuck you” in front of the children then I would lock him out!
It doesn’t make sense that he wanted to go sharpen knives when you were almost finished.

My OH is like this to the point where I have to lie about what time we NEED to be out of the door to arrive somewhere in time. He picks the worst moment to start fannying about with things that can wait (Installing a second CCTV camera wearing only his boxer shorts when we were due to be leaving the house in less than fifteen minutes for DS's hospital appointment springs to mind!!). If I don't tell him we're leaving 15/20 minutes before we actually need to, we're late. Worse because we're on public transport, so we leave a minute late, miss the bus and we're then around 30 minutes late by the time we get there, and have usually used the intervening time to both get enraged at the other over the full situation.
It sounds like you're in a similar position, and end up doing exactly what I do, by flying off the handle at the slightest hint of the skewed priorities/faffing/tardiness because it's accumulated frustration.

I said: if you go out that door I will lock it and you can sit out there while we eat our dinner. He came in and with lots of fuck you's sat and ate.

He's not a dog though is he? If my husband had said that to me, I really would've struggled not to tell him to fuck off in front of the kids (I would've managed to hold it in though).

I get that he shouldn't have picked that moment to go and sharpen a knife though. I would've been very annoyed too.

But I wouldn't have treated him like a dog and locked him out. If anyone locked me out of my house, I'd dial 101 even if it was my husband who did it.

I can see why the knives weren’t sharpened. He sounds like such a ditherer. I can’t be doing with it.

He can go to the shed in the morning and spend it sharpening every knife you have. Then come in for a nice New Years lunch ready for him. And then crack on...🤷🏼‍♀️

I would have left him too it let him eat his food cold got on with mine of course my ex would then have hit the roof because we "didn't wait for him" and it meant we "didn't want him around he was unwanted unloved undated for we are mean and hate him WHY IS HE EVEN ALIVE! FINE IF YOU DONT WANT ME AROUND JUST SAY SO"

As I said my EX

If my DH ever spoke words like that to me it would be the first and last time. Yes he ruined your dinner but that isn't really the important bit is it? What he said to you is what you should be concerning yourself with - not the dinner!

Fine to point out that it wasn't the right time to sharpen the knives, slightly strange to threaten to lock him out if he did - where did that one come from?! No, he shouldn't have sworn at you but do you always (both) go from nought to a hundred that fast?! Both at fault there IMO, sorry OP.

notangelinajolie if your DH threatened to lock you out of your own house and told you, you could sit out there like a dog, would you not concern yourself with that too?

I don't think you were U and I think he was most definitely for swearing at you, especially in front of the kids.

The fact that he spoke to you the way he did over something so small and insignificant makes me think you should of booted him out for that reason alone. My husband has never said fuck you to me even during extremely heated arguments the way he speaks to you is just not on seriously